ugh what to do what to do?!
YES he's a manipulative asshat from what you've shared:
For example from your original post:
so thats takes care of the bills then there's some left over. but seems like every month around the time the bills are due he gets in a bad mood and is hateful to me. today, he got the light bill and called me saying you need to quit turning lights on and from now on we're leaving the AC on 78. i said damn it 120 degrees 12 hours a day here in SC, there's no way i can stand the house on almost 80 degrees, especially with my asthma. he says well YOU DONT PAY THE BILL so you don't understand. those words have come out of his mouth several times. you dont pay this you dont pay that. its not like he's scrapping around for money, or that we struggle. i do babysit 25 hours a week, pay my own personal bills, cook, buy groceries, do our laundery and dishes, and keep the house clean. am i being selfish?? or is he being an asshole? my parents argued about money my whole life and i dont wanna be in a relationship where its the same. i tried talking to him about it calmly and he got mad with me and went to bed without me. wouldnt even talk to me. he's really immature
AND
every day he "jokes around with me" asking if ive found a OH boyfriend or a hot skinny guy. he says he knows im gonna leave him when i get skinny. he took off work monday so he can be at my surgery but hes making it sem like a pain in the ass. he says he wont get to sleep in even though he has the day off since we have to be the the hospital so early. and hes sayin after he sees my postop and im ok hes gonna go home so he can let the dog out (the dog stays by herslef 12-15 hours a day, since when does it matter?) and it just seems like everythings about HIM!
And, you might think this sounds harsh, but don't expect getting skinny to change your self-worth completely. That has to come from deep down inside of you. Your self-worth should NOT be tied to your pant size. I'm sorry, but I have always expected the best, no matter how big my ass was/is.II had 2 ****ty relationships but that it isn't because I was fat, and didn't deserve better, I was just young and stupid. Being skinny brings it's own set of issues. I just want to be honest with you about you could experience. There are so many times that women just don't have faith in themselves and their abilities. Your weight is NOT you, and it won't be you regardless of how much weight you lose.
For example from your original post:
so thats takes care of the bills then there's some left over. but seems like every month around the time the bills are due he gets in a bad mood and is hateful to me. today, he got the light bill and called me saying you need to quit turning lights on and from now on we're leaving the AC on 78. i said damn it 120 degrees 12 hours a day here in SC, there's no way i can stand the house on almost 80 degrees, especially with my asthma. he says well YOU DONT PAY THE BILL so you don't understand. those words have come out of his mouth several times. you dont pay this you dont pay that. its not like he's scrapping around for money, or that we struggle. i do babysit 25 hours a week, pay my own personal bills, cook, buy groceries, do our laundery and dishes, and keep the house clean. am i being selfish?? or is he being an asshole? my parents argued about money my whole life and i dont wanna be in a relationship where its the same. i tried talking to him about it calmly and he got mad with me and went to bed without me. wouldnt even talk to me. he's really immature
AND
every day he "jokes around with me" asking if ive found a OH boyfriend or a hot skinny guy. he says he knows im gonna leave him when i get skinny. he took off work monday so he can be at my surgery but hes making it sem like a pain in the ass. he says he wont get to sleep in even though he has the day off since we have to be the the hospital so early. and hes sayin after he sees my postop and im ok hes gonna go home so he can let the dog out (the dog stays by herslef 12-15 hours a day, since when does it matter?) and it just seems like everythings about HIM!
And, you might think this sounds harsh, but don't expect getting skinny to change your self-worth completely. That has to come from deep down inside of you. Your self-worth should NOT be tied to your pant size. I'm sorry, but I have always expected the best, no matter how big my ass was/is.II had 2 ****ty relationships but that it isn't because I was fat, and didn't deserve better, I was just young and stupid. Being skinny brings it's own set of issues. I just want to be honest with you about you could experience. There are so many times that women just don't have faith in themselves and their abilities. Your weight is NOT you, and it won't be you regardless of how much weight you lose.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
I am not going to give any advice regarding your current relationship. Only you can decide if these are issues you can talk about and work through or if they are worth leaving over.
But, I did want to chime in about the statements regarding your ex...please let those thoughts go. Maybe the ex didn't bring up money during fights (in the 3 yrs that you were together at least), but there were other things that were going on that made you not only turn down a proposal but completely walk away to try a new relationship with someone else.
It is easy to look back in the past to compare to exes, but when we do that we rarely remember things the way they really were....it's very easy to romanticize the past and wonder what could have been, but thats not really going to be helpful in any way to your situation now and not much good ever comes from going down that road.
Exes are usually exes for a reason.
Best of luck,
Lindsey
But, I did want to chime in about the statements regarding your ex...please let those thoughts go. Maybe the ex didn't bring up money during fights (in the 3 yrs that you were together at least), but there were other things that were going on that made you not only turn down a proposal but completely walk away to try a new relationship with someone else.
It is easy to look back in the past to compare to exes, but when we do that we rarely remember things the way they really were....it's very easy to romanticize the past and wonder what could have been, but thats not really going to be helpful in any way to your situation now and not much good ever comes from going down that road.
Exes are usually exes for a reason.
Best of luck,
Lindsey
First off, don't feel obligated to stay with him because he got out the military! That was his decision to get out and the reasons doesn't matter........besides he would prolly be better off if he had stayed in .
Second, it seems to me that he has other underlying issues within your relationship, maybe he doesnt want to be in it anymore and thats why he gripes about everything? No sex is also a good indicator that he is not that interested anymore.......i figure there is something else going on and ur surgery is just a reason to argue......
third: thinking of going back to ur ex is a bad idea right now, u are just jumping from one relationship to the next........
your best bet is to find urself a job to help u move into a one bedroom and start over on ur own......maybe u could move back home for a while or share an appt with a girlfriend or two until u can get on ur feet........otherwise i feel u are just going to end up in more troubling relationship if u stay.........
as far as the airconditioner lol...i live in texas...very very hot here no rain, i have asthma and i put mine on 78-79 on most days.....its not that bad, u can adjust.
at 23 u are still young, go apply at walmart,join the army or any other place but u should be trying to make it on ur own, without a mans help and see who u are first , find urself first, before u can live with anyone.....relationships take work and both parties have to work at it.......
Second, it seems to me that he has other underlying issues within your relationship, maybe he doesnt want to be in it anymore and thats why he gripes about everything? No sex is also a good indicator that he is not that interested anymore.......i figure there is something else going on and ur surgery is just a reason to argue......
third: thinking of going back to ur ex is a bad idea right now, u are just jumping from one relationship to the next........
your best bet is to find urself a job to help u move into a one bedroom and start over on ur own......maybe u could move back home for a while or share an appt with a girlfriend or two until u can get on ur feet........otherwise i feel u are just going to end up in more troubling relationship if u stay.........
as far as the airconditioner lol...i live in texas...very very hot here no rain, i have asthma and i put mine on 78-79 on most days.....its not that bad, u can adjust.
at 23 u are still young, go apply at walmart,join the army or any other place but u should be trying to make it on ur own, without a mans help and see who u are first , find urself first, before u can live with anyone.....relationships take work and both parties have to work at it.......
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