OT: Chop it off or what??

Disclosure: Totally off topic, but since I share everything else on this board, why not...

One of my best friends was recently diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. She is only 33. Sad. I know.

She has BEAUTIFUL "Cher" like hair. Glossy, long- it's her pride and joy. She decided to make a human hair wig- not herself of course, and is using her hair but needs 2 more 10inch long ponytails. She says that one of her employees is donating, and maybe a sister of another employee who lives in Hawaii. I told her that I would if she needed it, but she is SUPER prideful and at the time to be honest I was a little hesitant.

After thinking about how selfish I was being I emailed her (we work at the same company) and told her that I measured my ponytail and it's about 12 inches, would she like it? Again she said "I would never ask you to cut your hair, you don't have to do that". She is really prideful and never asks for ANYTHING.

Well tonight I am going to a BBQ at her house. Should I chop it and show up with a short 'do and give her the tail? Or do you think that maybe she really doesn't want it?  Also, she admitted she was going to cry for days after cutting her own hair, so even if she doesn't use it wouldn't this be supportive? IDK

What would you do?

I know that I absolutely would for a friend.

I would do it in a heartbeat, but it sounds like you really don't want to.  I don't think you have to do it if you don't want to.  There's nothing wrong with not doing it.  There are other ways that you can help your friend if you choose not to do it.

My daughter has donated her hair before. All you need to donate is at least 10 inches of hair that has not been highlighted or bleached. There is no specification to how MUCH hair you need to donate. So, I am confused. Might want to check it out yourself....

I was prepared to do this for my mom who also has cancer. She ended up actually not losing much hair and didn't need to get a wig.

It's just hair. It will grow back. I think it'd be a nice gesture. She obviously doesn't wanna feel like she's putting you out. I'd chop it off and even if she doesn't use it, you're a great friend for doing so. Besides, I hear chopping all your hair off is kind of liberating. :)

What about buying a gift certificate/contributing to the cost of having the wig made.  I'm guessing that they will need to supplement with hair from other donors, and there's no guarantee that your particular hair will be a match for use in her wig.  Is your hair the same texture/color/etc. as hers?

Would you be able to find out what company she's using?  How cool would it be for her to go to pay for it and find out that it's already been paid for!  Maybe you could even get others who would like to help to contribute--I know these kinds of wigs are very expensive.  

I would in a second, but I dont think you should feel bad if you do not want to.

You could buy human hair for her.  My mother and sister both have/had breast cancer.  I contemplated doing the same thing for my mother.  I'm glad I didn't.  My mother wore a wig only a few times.  She said it made her head itchy and and found it to be uncomforatable.  What a shame it would be if you donated your hair and she too found the wig to be itchy. 

Also, I didn't know this until my mother's chemotherapy but not all chemo patients lose their hair.  My mother did.  Once her treatment ended, her hair started to grow back in just a few weeks.  You have a big heart to even consider doing that for a friend but I say don't do it. 

Well wishes to your friend and Godspeed. 

My daughter donated her hair when she was 9 yo (I didn't have enough to donate). We've both been trying grow ours out again to donate, but not for any particular reason except that we can.

I think donating hair is a personal choice and would be a show of support for your friend. But you can make other monetary donations that are just as supportive. Since October is Breast Cancer awareness month, maybe you coud give a donation of money. Or, you could get on the Susan G. Komen website and see if there are any walk/run Race for the Cures in your area. Most of them are done by this time of the month, but it wouldn't hurt to look.

You don't have to cut your hair to support your friend. There will be other opportunities to help her as she fights this.

It's absolutely your decision and there is no right answer and it is a huge thing depending on how attached you are to your hair.  you may think to add into your equation that you will probably lose a lot of your beautiful hair anyhow, judging on hair loss reports around here and end up cutting it anyhow.  But you can also buy her a ponytail of human hair if you want to.  It is a big thing. Good luck