3 month anniversary and so sad

Jessica,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so badly about yourself. Below is a quote from Dr. Dorie who specilizes in helping people to lose weight and feel better about themselves. I am just starting this journey but the most important thing Dr. Dorie taught me was to forgive myself just as I would forgive others. You have come so far, celbrate. Hope this helps!

LOVE YOUR SELF
Today, no matter what you weigh!
BE TRUE TO YOUR SELF
Eat and exercise with intuition!
EXPRESS YOUR SELF
Release what's eating you!
GIVE TO YOUR SELF
Feed your hungry soul!
BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF
As you think, so it shall be!

 I go through periods of this myself, even though I'm also in therapy. For myself, it seems to come from a combination of things. First and foremost, when I was at my heaviest I knew that I was big, but I still felt really good about myself. When I looked in the mirror I saw myself as much, much smaller. After I lost 50 or 60 pounds, and did all of the measuring so that I knew how much I was shrinking, I finally started to realize how big I used to be. I would look in the mirror when I was halfway to goal and  realize that I always, honestly and truly, thought that this was the way I really looked. To know that I was so huge before was, and still is, a very uncomfortable realization for me.

The other part of it is the way my body is losing the weight. All of the things that I hated about my body at 275 are still there, just in slightly smaller form, at 175. So when I see myself naked I feel like I look exactly the same as I used to. My brain just can't seem to wrap itself around the fact that I can still have rolls on my hips and a big saggy stomach and fit into a size 14. I can see it, but I just can't believe it. Not yet. I assume that my brain will catch up with my body eventually. At least I hope so.

Good luck with your journey. If it helps, what you're feeling is totally normal.

 yes! i thought it was just me! i don't think i truly saw myself as my true weight when i was at my heaviest.  i always felt smaller, this makes total sense.  thank you! 

I have had a few moments like this in the past week or two.  Like it hit me "Oh my gosh, I've lost nearly 60 lbs and I still look like this!"  It finally made me realize how big I was before.  And the thought of how far I have to go makes me sad.  For some reason, I am reminded of all of the history behind my weight coming on as it comes off - and that makes me sad for myself.  Its a grieving process for my old self in a way.  And a letting go process.

Rather than get overwhelmed by the sadness, I work hard to look for the joy in taking charge of my health, how much it has improved, and the courage and determination it took to turn against the tide and start the journey in the first place.  Honestly, my husband has to remind me of this stuff fairly often.  It is a process though, and it is ok to go through the feelings as long as you do work through them and don't get stuck wallowing in them.

 thank you.  it's good to hear my thoughts in other people's words.  i feel the same way about me losing 60 pounds and i still look like this?  good advice about reminding of the joy each day.  thank you. 

Jessicae;

first, you are doing great at your rate of weight loss. Its easy to get discouraged when you realize there is still a ways to go and you are not there yet. and to be truthful, even when you get to goal some of us still don't have bikini perfect bodies and never will.

I hope you can face these feelings and work through them, maybe with a counselor if needed, because the fact is that this is the body you have and the only one you will have for the rest of your life and you might as well learn to love and respect it and take care of it.

As an obese person I used to think of myself as somehow separate from my body and I hated my body. Eventually I learned that hating your body is the same as hating yourself and its not a constructive thing to do. I still have these issues too but feel so much better than when I had the weight that I am ok with the saggy skin and wrinkles that go with weight loss at advanced middle age.

There is a book called "Body Love" that I read many years ago which focused on how to make peace with this issue. I am sure there are many newer ones but this one was good.

When I have critical thoughts on my saggy back end and wrinkles and appearance issues related both to weight loss and age, I remind myself that I don't have cancer, need a hip replacement, no longer have 120 extra pounds or all the other significant health issues that friends of mine have. Puts the wrinkles and such in perspective.

If these unhappy feelings continue please consider a counselor. Could really help!  

All the best.   Diane

 The most foreign, unnatural-feeling thing I'm learning is to live moment by moment and focus on growth, improvement, and whatever is positive in my journey.

Me? A positive thinker? That's not who I am! I'm a snarky depressive pessimist and dang proud of it! Except that version of myself doesn't function very well, and got to weigh 322 pounds dealing with emotional pain.

When you don't have overeating and compulsive eating to smother the pain, the pain can get intense. Your counselor should help you deal honestly with life's pain and help you find ways to comfort yourself. True, nothing works exactly like food did...but nothing worked exactly like smoking cigarettes, and I gave those up (and gained 100 pounds--but I didn't have therapy and didn't dig for inner healing, either).

I felt uglier when I was young and thin than I ever did old and fat. How will I feel being old and thin? I don't know. There'll be down times when the truth smacks me in the face. I plan to use any means necessary to not pick up a new unhealthy habit. At my age, I ought to be able to quit hiding.

Oh: remember to laugh.