Truly changing habits and transforming my relationship with food
I just had to post today because I've noticed some really profound changes in myself lately and it's what I've been trying to do with food my whole life. I'm finally getting there!
I feel I have really transformed my relationship with food into something that is healthy. I rarely use food for comfort any more. I used to eat when I was stressed, bored or out of habit. I've basically overcome the stress and boredom eating. I'm still working on the habit eating. But I'm getting there.
I came to this point through counseling. I have said from the beginning that the head stuff is half the battle with weight, at least for 90% of us. We have/had unhealthy relationships with food, in one form or another, and it's what got us fat and left us in a vicious cycle of losing --> regaining --> gaining more. For me, this was primarily volume eating (never feeling full or satisfied and always hungry), stress/bored/habit eating and making some bad choices. VSG helped with the physical stuff. It provides restriction (yes!), less physical hunger (a Godsend) and the realization that I was willing to take a drastic step to get my health in the right direction.
But it doesn't help with the head stuff. That's all us. ANd because we have poor track records of success in the weight department, we can't expect the head stuff to fix itself. It's OUR job to seek that out, through support groups, counseling, therapy, whatever the avenue is that works. And it ain't easy. And it's scary sometimes (at least for me). But when you truly understand why you have an unhealthy relationship with food, it opens doors to fixing it. For good. Forever. As long as you keep using those head tools you learn from the experience. That's why doing this from the get-go and building GOOD HABITS from the start is so important. Vital to success.
It helps us do the Commitment and Compliance that I learned from the vets before I even had surgery. They're preaching to us, folks. We need to listen! It's pure wisdom!! But it takes work. It's SO worth the outcome.
For me personally, I came to learn that the negative thoughts I had about myself, the perfectionist in me that always told me I was never good enough, was killing me. I ate to drown her out. But it was only temporary because it didn't keep her away. She came back. And so now I listen to her, but my reaction isn't to eat. It's to spit in her face, kick her in the shin and instruct her to find the nearest exit fast or I'll go all Girl-WIth-The-Dragon-Tattoo on her. And slowly, she's taking the hint. I hear from her less and less. ANd when I do, I take all the internal power and self-worth I have, and beat her back again. Food doesn't fix the head stuff. It's what got me fat. The head stuff has to be fixed in other, healthy ways.
So I will continue on my journey of self-discovery and self-awareness as it relates to my relationship with food. I can never let my guard down, but with the right frame of mind, I can do this. I recommend to anyone who is considering counseling or therapy to RUN OUT AND DO IT NOW. There's no time to waste.
I feel I have really transformed my relationship with food into something that is healthy. I rarely use food for comfort any more. I used to eat when I was stressed, bored or out of habit. I've basically overcome the stress and boredom eating. I'm still working on the habit eating. But I'm getting there.
I came to this point through counseling. I have said from the beginning that the head stuff is half the battle with weight, at least for 90% of us. We have/had unhealthy relationships with food, in one form or another, and it's what got us fat and left us in a vicious cycle of losing --> regaining --> gaining more. For me, this was primarily volume eating (never feeling full or satisfied and always hungry), stress/bored/habit eating and making some bad choices. VSG helped with the physical stuff. It provides restriction (yes!), less physical hunger (a Godsend) and the realization that I was willing to take a drastic step to get my health in the right direction.
But it doesn't help with the head stuff. That's all us. ANd because we have poor track records of success in the weight department, we can't expect the head stuff to fix itself. It's OUR job to seek that out, through support groups, counseling, therapy, whatever the avenue is that works. And it ain't easy. And it's scary sometimes (at least for me). But when you truly understand why you have an unhealthy relationship with food, it opens doors to fixing it. For good. Forever. As long as you keep using those head tools you learn from the experience. That's why doing this from the get-go and building GOOD HABITS from the start is so important. Vital to success.
It helps us do the Commitment and Compliance that I learned from the vets before I even had surgery. They're preaching to us, folks. We need to listen! It's pure wisdom!! But it takes work. It's SO worth the outcome.
For me personally, I came to learn that the negative thoughts I had about myself, the perfectionist in me that always told me I was never good enough, was killing me. I ate to drown her out. But it was only temporary because it didn't keep her away. She came back. And so now I listen to her, but my reaction isn't to eat. It's to spit in her face, kick her in the shin and instruct her to find the nearest exit fast or I'll go all Girl-WIth-The-Dragon-Tattoo on her. And slowly, she's taking the hint. I hear from her less and less. ANd when I do, I take all the internal power and self-worth I have, and beat her back again. Food doesn't fix the head stuff. It's what got me fat. The head stuff has to be fixed in other, healthy ways.
So I will continue on my journey of self-discovery and self-awareness as it relates to my relationship with food. I can never let my guard down, but with the right frame of mind, I can do this. I recommend to anyone who is considering counseling or therapy to RUN OUT AND DO IT NOW. There's no time to waste.
5'5" Goal reached, but fighting regain. Back to Basics.
Start Weight 246 Goal Weight 160 Current Weight 183
Starting size: 22, 2x
Current size: 12, L
I'm right there with you, girl! I believe that it is definitely possible to change our relationship with food and stop mis-using it for things it was never meant to do -- comfort, numbing, getting rid of negative feelings. I believe that we all have the capacity to begin using food as it was meant to be used -- for fuel to give us energy and provide us with healthy nutrients.
It is a relief to discover that once I confronted those voices... the ones who constantly told me I wasn't good enough and didn't deserve good things... once I learned to manage all that negative self-talk and manage my thoughts and feelings, I was able to manage my relationship with food in a healthy, normal way instead. I don't live in fear of any food now. I can have a little, or none at all, and not let it drive my guilt, shame, pride or sense of accomplishment. Food has no power over me now, and it feels good.
Dealing with all those issues that drove us to be morbidly obese is not an easy task, but it is possible, especially if you can find a good counselor to help you through it.
It is a relief to discover that once I confronted those voices... the ones who constantly told me I wasn't good enough and didn't deserve good things... once I learned to manage all that negative self-talk and manage my thoughts and feelings, I was able to manage my relationship with food in a healthy, normal way instead. I don't live in fear of any food now. I can have a little, or none at all, and not let it drive my guilt, shame, pride or sense of accomplishment. Food has no power over me now, and it feels good.
Dealing with all those issues that drove us to be morbidly obese is not an easy task, but it is possible, especially if you can find a good counselor to help you through it.
" I am not at all concerned with appearing to be consistent. In my pursuit after Truth I have discarded many ideas and learnt many new things." Ghandi 
Silly_Sweet: I always look forward to your posts. I am early in the game but use your positive messages and "what are you eating today" to help me learn NEW healthy ways, both physically and mentally. I do understand where you are coming from on the head stuff that still tries to rule our lives and I thank you for taking the time to share about YOU in this post. You encourage me, and many others, to do the right thing. Thank you!!!
Thank you, Thank you! You said it so well.
I am so scared, nervous, excited about my upcoming sleeve (Feb 9). I have learned so much from this forum, I read almost everyday. I have still screwed up (had to have that last jumbo lol) but I will forgive and forget and move on.
I just wanted to thank everyone because now I know what to expect after surgery, what to take to the hospital and just placed two orders (1 from unjury and 1 from diet direct) so THANKS AGAIN
I am so scared, nervous, excited about my upcoming sleeve (Feb 9). I have learned so much from this forum, I read almost everyday. I have still screwed up (had to have that last jumbo lol) but I will forgive and forget and move on.
I just wanted to thank everyone because now I know what to expect after surgery, what to take to the hospital and just placed two orders (1 from unjury and 1 from diet direct) so THANKS AGAIN
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