i did it. ONEDERLAND. pretty long post for an amazing achievement.
i knew it was coming. i wondered how i would react. i stepped on the scale this morning and it read 199.6. i got off and got on again 2 more times. 199.6.
i remember graduating h.s. at 152. i remember a year later stepping onto the dr. scale and being 185 and wondering how that happened. that was the last time i remember myself under 200 pounds. by the time i was 20 i was 228.
i cried this morning. just tears dropping down my face as i stared at that number. i cried because i am thankful to have this tool that made weight loss possible. i cried because i was ashamed at how much i weighed at my highest weight. i cried because of the 20 year struggle with weight loss that i now have the upper hand on. i cried because for the first time in 13 years, i told my husband how much i weigh this morning. being a man and uncomfortable with me crying, he said "congratulations- you're crying for good reasons right? do you want me to call your counselor?". (love him.) I cried because i can run for 4 minutes (starting couch to 5k). i cried because i couldn't believe how it had gotten so bad that i needed someone to remove 85% of my stomach for me to be able to lose weight.
i still have a long way to go (i'm only 5'2) and my goal weight is between 135-145, but honestly anything under 160 i would be thrilled with. i'm still feeling low energy some days and hoping that my gall bladder can stay inside me. i went to a party last night with my husband's friends and it was a fancy party with butlers and catered food and fancy people. so unlike me to go when pre-op i would've made an excuse so people wouldn't look at the fat girl who couldn't stop eating the little ****tail weinies. i was nervous but went anyway. i still felt uncomfortable but this time because i wasn't eating (wasn't much there i could've had) so i carried a bottle of water with me and took 1 bite of food. but i went. and i didn't spend the whole time thinking i was the biggest person in the room. i didnt' even look around to see if i was. i spent the night talking and laughing with new people, which is something i wouldn't have done in the past.
for all those pre-op or debating whether to go through with this surgery: please do it. it gives people their lives back. it's a crazy ride and some days will suck, but in the end, we'll all be healthier.
a huge thank you to OH for being a sounding board and for all the vets and newbies on here that make it worth getting on each day to see how everyone is doing. love you all and good luck to all of us on our journey.
i remember graduating h.s. at 152. i remember a year later stepping onto the dr. scale and being 185 and wondering how that happened. that was the last time i remember myself under 200 pounds. by the time i was 20 i was 228.
i cried this morning. just tears dropping down my face as i stared at that number. i cried because i am thankful to have this tool that made weight loss possible. i cried because i was ashamed at how much i weighed at my highest weight. i cried because of the 20 year struggle with weight loss that i now have the upper hand on. i cried because for the first time in 13 years, i told my husband how much i weigh this morning. being a man and uncomfortable with me crying, he said "congratulations- you're crying for good reasons right? do you want me to call your counselor?". (love him.) I cried because i can run for 4 minutes (starting couch to 5k). i cried because i couldn't believe how it had gotten so bad that i needed someone to remove 85% of my stomach for me to be able to lose weight.
i still have a long way to go (i'm only 5'2) and my goal weight is between 135-145, but honestly anything under 160 i would be thrilled with. i'm still feeling low energy some days and hoping that my gall bladder can stay inside me. i went to a party last night with my husband's friends and it was a fancy party with butlers and catered food and fancy people. so unlike me to go when pre-op i would've made an excuse so people wouldn't look at the fat girl who couldn't stop eating the little ****tail weinies. i was nervous but went anyway. i still felt uncomfortable but this time because i wasn't eating (wasn't much there i could've had) so i carried a bottle of water with me and took 1 bite of food. but i went. and i didn't spend the whole time thinking i was the biggest person in the room. i didnt' even look around to see if i was. i spent the night talking and laughing with new people, which is something i wouldn't have done in the past.
for all those pre-op or debating whether to go through with this surgery: please do it. it gives people their lives back. it's a crazy ride and some days will suck, but in the end, we'll all be healthier.
a huge thank you to OH for being a sounding board and for all the vets and newbies on here that make it worth getting on each day to see how everyone is doing. love you all and good luck to all of us on our journey.
Jessica 
Surgery Date 9/29/11 Dr. Ian Soriano Temple University Hospital, Philadelphia, PA HW: 287 / Pre-Op: 280 / SW: 263.4 / CW: 161.6 GW: 145
it feels like forever now but when your'e done you'll be thankful that you are done and can look back on your pre op time and be so proud of how far you've come.
Jessica Surgery Date 9/29/11 Dr. Ian Soriano Temple University Hospital, Philadelphia, PA HW: 287 / Pre-Op: 280 / SW: 263.4 / CW: 161.6 GW: 145
Congrats Jessica! You are doing an amazing job, keep it up.
HT: 5'4" HW: 251 SW: 237 CW: 172 GW: 135
"You can control how much water you drink, how much protein/carbs/cals you consume, and how much you exercise. FOCUS on those and not the scale, because no matter how hard we try, we do not control the scale." ~ acbbrown
"You can control how much water you drink, how much protein/carbs/cals you consume, and how much you exercise. FOCUS on those and not the scale, because no matter how hard we try, we do not control the scale." ~ acbbrown
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