Skin....Really, Would It Have Made a Difference?

Skin....Really, Would It Have Made a Difference?

No Judgments.... But.....

Seems like the biggest surprise here is Skin.....Stretched Out Damaged Skin......

Do people really think they are going to be exempt from skin issues after losing substantial weight?

Don't get me wrong.... I'm on your side.... I wi**** would come back like a Snare Drum.......

When I lay down I can feel a real defined 6 pack under some messed up skin.......

I knew my skin was messed up at about age 12 when I stared getting stretch marks.......

I tell myself I shoulda been thinking about my skin while I was pushing the food into my mouth ???

So.... my question is......"Would it really have made a difference" Would you have not got fat because of future skin issues?


frisco

well every one told me i would have skin issues from the yoyo dietiting and from gaining more and more but . i couldnt stop my self . but hey im sleeved now and ready to be a more healthy person with skin issues :)

No way.  When I was in the middle of a binge, nothing and no-one could stop me. Who cared about what would happen in the future - it was all about making the pain (psychological) go away now!

Alot of kids who go through a rapid growth spurt also get stretch marks without ever having a weight issue. Not fair!

Skin only became a concern AFTER I decided on being sleeved. NEVER, EVER thought of it before that.

Personally, I don't give a flying f*** about my loose, sagging skin. Frankly, it's better than being obese. I can hide the skin under my clothes and besides, it's not horrific - just loose and giggly. No matter how I dressed I could not hide my obesity. This I can hide!

Would I prefer to have the skin of my pre obese self - You betchya! Ain't gonna happen though, so I got on with it.

Skin.....Did not, would not, will not make a difference.

I dont think surprised is what people are....just like all of us are not surprised that we got fat when we stuffed our faces...but that didnt keep us from hating our fat bodies...or how it kept our lives stifled...or how it raised our risk of serious health conditions. so the same goes for the resulting skin.....we are not "surprised" but as least for myself...I am hating it (knowing what it will be when the weight comes off)...hating that it will stifle my life...no bathing suit in public...no shorts...no sleeveless shirts etc. hating that after all of the hard work that we have gone thru or will go thru..we still will have limitations on us.... both how we live physically and how we view our bodies from an emotional stand point. and also hating that we did it to ourselves...and to a certain level....have to accept this as our "punishment ".

so...no...not surprised....just sad
and no...it did not make a difference while we were eating too much...and no it does not make a difference in deciding to lose the weight and finally get our selves on track.
and no it does not matter more than our health...otherwise we wouldnt be here.
but just like the excess weight that we hated and were(are) saddened by...but not surprised by....it just doesnt make us feel good...
and is that really a surprise? we are all just human.

If all the other problems didn't make a difference in our gaining the weight, the skin wouldn't have either.

I have a family member though, that refuses WLS and scoffs at it because she doesn't want that "gross, saggy skin!" I'm so shocked that someone would choose the fat and all the risks that come with that over a little (or a lot of) extra skin. Madness. And probably just an excuse to use because she's unwilling to face her food demons.

I find it so disturbing that we are so quick to judge one another...really?

why does it have to be one or the other? why...just because someone is horrified and evenparalyzed by the notion of seeing all that loose skin does it automatically mean that they care more about that than they do their health?

choosing fat over loose skin? REALLY?
not wanting to come to terms with eating issues or food demons?

how many years did it take you and me and most of us to stop choosing fat and food over better health? or choosing fat and food over facing our eating issues and food demons?

I have been and still am...dreading the sight and the state that body will be in after losing all this poundage...

I am..at times...in tears about how I will never EVER be able to be or look like a normal person....IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM CHOOSING FAT OR THAT I AM SURPRISED.

It just means I am human and capable of more than one thought and one emotion at a time.

Well, there's two possible things here, one of which your poster hints at, and one he suggests directly: 

Hinted is that she's not having surgery because she finds the state of being nominal weighted with extra skin a less acceptable situation than being obese or morbidly obese.  Would this be the case, I too would conclude they care more about their appearance then their health.  Taking the elements at face value.   Some people are fat but "feel" pretty or attractive - they see that skin as becoming less attractive.  And this isn't far fetched - these are plenty of posts on here by women lamenting how they distaste their facial features now - when they were obese, their facial skin was nice and tight - like a free face lift.  Now, with extra skin, it's wrinkled and they look/feel older, and suffer a reduced sense of self-esteem rather than the opposite for having lost so much weight.

The other scenario that directly suggested is that this person is not ready to make a committment to lifestyle change and is simply using the excuse of extra skin as a convenient excuse to not have to engage the conscious acceptance that she has these unresolved eating issues.  It doesn't matter how many years it takes a person to conquer these items to make them untrue; nor does everyone that have the surgery conquer these demons prior to their surgery either. 

If you're really in tears, perhaps you're being sensitive to the poster above you, feeling like his statement is projecting into you somehow.  I, of course, cannot unpack your psychology but the poster above did not make the claim that you are choosing to be fat or that you are surprised, nor that you might not be human.  I would encourage you to look into the driver of these defensive statements.

Moreover, what I find disturbing that anyone would feel - this strong, emotionally powerful statement you put out there - "I'm in tears about how I will never EVER be or look like a normal person".  I'm a bit surprised - why do you think this?

I'm at goal and I have excess skin.  In clothing, I believe I look pretty darn normal.  Underneath my clothing, not as much.... but while I know I have excess skin, I guess I don't say I don't look "normal".  I look like a normal guy with excess skin rather than not looking normal in general.  And for under my clothes, plastic surgery can fix that.  In a nutshell, don't throw the baby out with the bath water - why have you convinced yourself so passionately that you will never ever be able to look normal?  It amost sounds like you're punishing yourself.  

No one like this excess skin, sure.  But I encourage you to try to come to peace - it makes me sad to hear that you're dreading the sight and state of your body after you lose weight.  I'll own that the sight of my own body is driving me to plastic surgery - but even then, I don't feel ugly or unnormal.  And the state - well hell, the state of my body is about a billionity times better.  And I suspect yours will be as well.

In short, I believe you have 'found' things in the post you responded to that simply weren't there because of how strongly you feel about your own self image.  No one has targeted you implying you can't have more than one thought or emotion at a time.

Something to think about.  I hope we can engage in this discussion further.

I think that I must not have made myself completely clear. I in no way took the previous posters comments personally....the subject? yes...definately.



As for the previous poster's family member ....I completely agree that she is choosing to remain obese over having hanging skin....no denying that. i think thats obvious..she has not yet come to the point that she is ready to make a change..my point was that it should not be judged...regardless of why she opts out of wls.



and yes....from a purely "looks" standpoint she is stating she would rather be fat than see all that disgusting gross skin...I get that...it took me years to decide that my health was more important to me than how I was going to feel about how my body looked (take note that I said "how I was going to feel" opposed to how others view me)...my point there again was not to disagree with the poster but to say ...dont judge just because someone hasnt gotten to the point that we claim to be at.

....I most certainly was not crying then nor am I now....but I have and still do from time to time...(although a lot less lately since committing .to the sleeve...and my new lifestyle). when I think about how I wish I didnt do this to myself and that the weight that I lose will only make me want even more to live like I dream about...MOST OF WHICH I will be able to do....but some I wont because I will know that my body will look odd.. which leads me to my final point.. looking not human with loose skin vs fat filled skin and why one would choose to stay fat...Now try to remember that I am speaking strictly from a looks only perspective right now..as we have all established that there us no contest when it cones to health...I can and only do..speak for myself here....I am absolutely revolted by how my body looks now...disgusted....with that said....fat is just that..FAT....an excessive amount of loose skin...like the kind I will have is more of an oddity....in other words...I will feel way way worse about wearing shorts...or any other skin exposing clothing than I do now....YES this is an issue for me....has been...always....not enuff to stop eating....but enuff to sabotage my weightloss efforts....IN THE PAST.



my entire view on this subject and the above few posts was simply to say that people can still want to be healthy AND hate the loose skin as well..and that we....of all groups of people should get that and not judge.kI do realize that the Vets on this board get tired of seeing the same ole posts again and again (Ive only been here since jan. and i see how redundant it can be) but this point of view bearing judgement or negative resonance about skin seems to be raised for the sole purpose of "entertaining a bored poster". I also see that as being human..but for some of us it really is a deeply felt subject....I guess thats what the bored are counting on tho...while you are having fun...do try to remember that we do come here for support.




EDITED TO ADD:
I am not necessarily referring to this particular thread of posts...In all honesty todays posts were quite tame in comparison to others I have seen on the subject of "how people feel about their loose skin". it is those that I have in mind while making my final comments about bored posters

Well Frisco, you troublemaker you -

I will own up to being surprised by skin!  There's a couple factors why -

I was so focused on surgery selection and decision to move forward and how much I might lose and ***IF*** I would get to goal, I hadn't yet thought about life at goal and maintenance.

Also, as a yo-yo dieter, I would lose weight, but never quite enough that I saw excess skin - so with that yo yo dieting, in my mind, my body would just absorb the extra skin.  I knew the stretch marks would stay though, again, from that yo-yo dieting experience.

It was mostly a failure to invest in the thought process.  That, and I think our surgeon doesn't point it out as he doesn't want people to be discouraged to tackle their health issues for what is essentially a future cosmetic issue.

But hell no, I still would have had the surgery - I just would have started saving for plastic surgery immediately instead of half-way after my surgery ;)

And for other people - you know... people are good at not seeing or not thinking about things that upset them too much, right?

Finally, one man's extra skin is another man's "I don't care at all" which is another man's "oh gads I'm hidious!"   People are funny and complex creatures.

I love when you ask these questions.