Are you Angry?

I have not been angry about my dietary restrictions since deciding on the VSG. Actually, quite the contrary.

On some of the diets I went on prior to deciding on bariatric surgery, yes, I did have a few feelings of anger or envied those who seemingly could eat whatever they wanted, when they wanted and never gained a pound. That was what I wanted for myself, but it wasn't my reality. My reality was that I ate like an addict.

Frankly, since being sleeved I welcome the restrictions I have. Most of them are self imposed at this point, for my own good, in my opinion. Yes, I restrict carbs. I am anal about getting protein in daily. I no longer drink regular coffee or tea or anything with caffeine. All my choice. Why? Because I'm an addict learning to live a different food life. I am concentrating on learning a new and better way of eating. My goal is to be pretty set in my eating ways in the next few months as I am very close to my goal. I think I've done a pretty good job improving my food choices and food priorities. 

I needed to cut out 85% of my stomach to help me get to a healthy weight. I don't think "normal" people have to do this, so in a way, I don't consider myself normal when it comes to food, eating, body size, etc.... I'm, like I said, an addict. It's like I have a disease of sorts (like an alchoholic, I suppose).

Anyhow, if I'm feeling any emotion at all about my food intake and restrictions now, it's joy. I am joyful that my sleeve has played a huge role in helping me identify what foods work and don't work for me. It wasn't until being sleeved that I could accept that I had trouble (like a crack addict) with fat/white flour/sugar combinations (COOKIES!!!). My sleeve has made me painfully aware of my shortcomings and foibles with food. I am forever grateful that my sleeve has led me down this path.

I can eat anything. I just choose not to. And for the gift of being in control of that choice, I am joyful everyday.

   Quite the opposite! For Mother's day I cooked brunch for mom and 4 sisters and their husbands. I made spinach and feta omelette's, French toast, bacon, sausage, bagels, pancakes...I nibbled on some bacon and eggs during the day and was fine.
   Later that night my wife and 3 kids finished off a birthday cake while I had a protein shake and we all laughed about it!

No! 

One time when I was losing weight in OA (in my 20s), I burst into tears when my girlfriend was eating a bowl of ice cream in front of me.  "I feel so deprived that I can't have any!" I said.  She just looked up and me and said, "I think you just feel so deprived." 

It was like a smack in the head.  I *did* feel deprived, and the food wasn't going to fix it!  At that moment I made peace with my "no recreational sugar" thing.

As for the other deitary restrictions - I either made sure I could live with them, or discussed whether or not they were absolute necessities.  I gave up diet soda for about 6 months prior to surgery to make sure I could do it.  It was fine, I was fine without it.  I had severe misgivings when my surgeon's program said "no caffeine ever again.  For life."  That almost did me in, so I questioned him and got his permission to have it after 3 months, only one or two cups a day. 

Nothing I've given up is more valuable than what I've gained.  Plus, it's all my choice, right?  Who am I supposed to be mad at?  It's not like a complication - we knew which end was up before signing up for this.

Have never been angry about my decision. In fact I am so happy that I have done this and that I cannot eat the quantity of food that I did before. I think I did mourn the loss of  food for a couple of weeks but that was just the head stuff that we have to deal with.  Since then, even with family/friends eating all they want of everything under the sun, I am very pleased with my choices and decision. I am not finished but I am well on my way to being healthy and fit. Something I have not been for 30 yrs. No reason for anger.

I agree with all of the other posters - I am not angry about the dietary restrictions.  But I won't say that I don't miss the social aspect of eating that I used to enjoy.  Dining out was a very big deal in my "former" life, and it has certainly lost it luster in the past 8+ months.  But every time I look in the mirror and every time I drop a pants size, I am more and more happy about the choices I have made.  Now I eat to live instead of living to eat!!

I'm not angry at all about the way I pretty much have to eat right now. For the first time in my life, "behaving" with my eating plan feels just as good immediately as it does an hour or two later, which is something I never felt preop.

However, on some level I undertand the resentment at "normal" people. When my depression was at its worst, and my diabetes too, I used to resent the hell out of anyone who could eat whatever, whenever, and not have to worry about what it was doing to their blood sugar. Or their blood pressure. Or their energy level. Or...

You get the idea.

But at the same time, I never felt full for more than a few mintues after a meal, no matter what I ate. So it was so hard to want to eat right, when I didn't feel like my body was processing it properly. This may have been an inaccurate assessment on my part, but it's the way I felt at that time.