Support. Or lack there of

 I've been posting on here more often the last few days and really appreciate everyone's encouragement. However, my mom is another story. She's a worry wart to begin with but now that I've been approved, she's freaking out. I'm only 23 and I know she cares about me but it's so frustrating. I want her approval instead of interrogation. I don't know how to prove to her that this is the best decision for me now. It's bad enough that I have to constantly prove my reasons to friends and coworkers now I have to deal with my family?! Ugh. Anyone have good advice?

Maybe you could print out the information about vsg from this website? Have it with you the next time she starts in on all of this, and hand it to her and tell her you don't want to discuss it again until she reads more about it. Make sure she knows that you appreciate the concern, but that you are an adult and you have mad up your mind.

My mother-in-law gave me all kinds of hell when she found out I was going to Mexico for my vsg, but now that I'm postop and she sees that I'm not dying or anything, she's back to being super supportive. I think once your mom sees how well you're doing, she'll be your best cheerleader.

 Thank you I will definitely try that!

Hi there,

I read your query and was saddened to see that you feel the need to "prove" your reasons to people. I understand wanting your friends and familys support, but you owe no explanation to anyone, only yourself.
As I see it, like me, the reason is obvious, your overweight, but unlike me, your smart and dealing with it at a much younger age. Good on you!
 Now, your mom probably "freaks out" out of love and concern and she's maybe even fearful for you. All caring parents want our kids to make the right choice for themselves. Sometimes, we just really suck at how we deal with issues, but we're human too. So, forgive her.
I agree with the above post, print off the procedure and go through it with her, not just "Here, read this!" After that, explain calmly and assertively that you have made this decision and why, for the last time. Explain that you will answer any questions/concerns she has as long as they are done without a raised voice. Tell her you love her too, and you appreciate the concern and would love her support; but your decision is final and the topic is closed. Sometimes, you have to take a stand.
As for your co-workers or friends, if they're good people, they'll support you regardless..if they question everything and start to drag you down; you may want to seriously question their intentions and maybe the friendship. Some people may want you to fail so they don't have to feel bad about themselves.

 Surround yourself with love and support..it'll make the journey so much easier and enjoyable. We're here for you. Peace!

Remember your mom loves you.  She is concerned about your health, and explain to her that you are trying to improve your health by having the surgery.  If you have truly tried to lose weight and keeo it off, with out keeping the weight off, then surgery is a good option.  Let her know that the sleeve surgery does not move your intestines only reduces the stomach which is part of the stomach that makes you so hungry.  Therefore, it is a safe option.  Good luck.  

I am 20 months post op, I have lost 60 lbs; but I am trying to get the 13 lbs that I gained because I was eating wrong.  Yes, you can eat sugar, desserts, potatoe, rice and noodles.  But I was not paying attention, and gained.  Sleeve is just a tool, not something that will keep you on the program.  You will still have to maintain a high protein and low carb life style. Can you do that long term?  Think about it.  Good luck.

I always start the conversation with "I'm not lookng for opinions, just support.  I understand this is scary for you, but I'm an adult and have made this decision after months of research and preparation.  I am doing this for my health.  I am happy to share the research with your if you would like.  If you can't be supportive, you will not get to be a part of this journey and that's ok.  The choice is yours."

I hope that your mom comes around.  If she doesn't are you prepared to do it without her support?

My boyfriend was the same way. I had him sit down with me and watch the surgery online. Also I went to support groups with him and he was able to ask questions of people who had the surgery already. He even got the chance to talk to some of the supportive husbands in the group. After that he was my number one supporter. He stood by me all the way and helped me so much after surgery.  He encourages me to go to the gym and walks with him. He has even lost about 10lbs since I had surgery (he never had any weight issues) but he is lookin even more fine than before...   Anyway, this is your decision, if information does not work for your mom try to limit your time before surgery with her and the first few weeks after surgery. That way you can limit the negativity. When she sees you after surgery and your past the first month. She will see how awesome this tool is. When she sees the improvements in your health she will change her mind. Right now she may just be worried about complications and such. Good luck..