Relationships!

It seems to me that your boyfriend is being abusive in his treatment of you. To criticize everything is like continuous  verbal assault.  His behavior has nothing to do with your surgery. It has to do with the fact that he is abusive. End of story. It doesn't matter why he is abusive.  It only matters that it is not good for you.

People who love us treat us well and are supportive of us when we make changes, especially big changes like WLS. He is not helping your healing and recovery and I believe he is not good for you. This may sound harsh but the sooner you end the relationship the better.

I can't add much to what's already been said.  You deserve better.  I do remember staying in relationships that weren't good for me.  Fear of being alone sometimes makes us put up with things that we know we shouldn't (or worse, believe we deserve).  It will hurt at first, but in the long run, you will be a happier, healthier, more confident young woman who a wonderful man would give anything to have love him back.  Do it for you!!!

Oh No, I hate to hear that!!!
 
This is one of the hardest things your doing for yourself, and if he loved you, he would be supportive!

I had a friend whose boyfriend always accused her of cheating on him when me and her went on vacation, and when I was at her house he started going on about it again.

She shouted at him right in front of me "What if I did cheat on you, what are you going to do about it? Leave? Then leave or shut the F**K up,"

It was kinda funny, but it squashed it.

Anyways good luck girl, the only advice I can give you though is what my mother gave me.....

When your done, you will be done.

Thanks everyone!  I know it all sucks! so much! Thanks for listening...I'm a hard head...I never know when to let go.

You received excellent responses and so all i want to say is that you need to move on.  I am afraid for you, for your safety.  You are better off by yourself than with someone who will pull you down.  There are many decent guys who would love to be with you.  Take care of yourself for now.

After two marriages and a number of poor relationships, I finally figured out that it's not so bad to be alone.  It doesn't mean I will be alone forever, but I have gotten to the point where I'd rather read a good book all by myself than put up with that abuse.  I don't need a man to make me feel complete.  I am okay and doing well on my own.  If a good relationship is meant to be, it will happen.

Verbal/emotional/physical -- whatever form it takes, abuse is still abuse and you do not deserve it.
Kathy

 People can feel whatever they want. It's a problem when the words that come out of their mouth create chaos. 
Nobody can tell you what to do, because in the end you know what is best for you. All I can say is to communicate and give it the best you got.

 
I'm gonna give the flip side.......

First..... those things should not be said.....so yes....the previous posters have a very valid point (s)

That said.......Like anything else....were probably not hearing the whole story.....takes two to tango !

One thing we as WLS patients tend to forget or not consider.....were the ones changing and were the ones asking for people to get with our new discoveries........

Here is a classic one "My husband just wants to sit around and do nothing"

Well..... maybe you set the pace for that cause you/we were so fat and didn't wanna leave the house.....he got comfortable with behaviors that you established.....

My point is as WLS patients we are the ones changing.........

Your losing weight....wearing better clothes....you do your hair and wear make up now.....your more active.....maybe meeting friends after work....... all **** you never used to do......

Without good communication......what is dude supposed to think????

You really have to talk it out......if you want it to work......

Just another view !

frisco

What the dude is supposed to think is that his girlfriend looks good, not that she is cheating on him. And it doesn't matter what he thinks, there is no excuse for abusive behavior, ever.

The phrase it takes two to tango only applies in an abusive relationship in that one person is abusive and the other stays. The way to end the tango is for the victim to leave.

Happie Girl, please do not listen to Frisco's view. It is a dangerous one and unfortunately often given by people who are unaware of or are in denial about what abuse really looks like. Criticism, blaming, name calling, lying, stone walling, obfuscating, condenscending, deriding, shouting...thesse are all forms of verbal violence and abusive. Social science research (particularly the work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman) shows that these behaviors are destructive to the psychological health of the recipient of them.

There is never a reason to "work it out" with an abusive person. We are all worth more than that. Never, ever tolerate being treated badly by anyone. Happiegirl, you have done so much to take good care of yourself with the VSG. Continue to take good care of you by leaving this relationship.

 
I have no argument for you.......

My point is big changes require big communication.......

I've been on the receiving end of that scenario....being accused of being attracted to every woman I photographed.....I was guilty of not talking about it and letting it fester......

frisco