"To tell or not to tell" with apologies to Shakespeare

Well then you are good to go - that's the point. You obviously know your mind and no one is saying that absolutely everyone should disclose, or that everyone is going to have shame around doing this.

I'm not sure where people are picking that up, but I'm pretty sure that has not been said.

 Its funny to conversations around people I have blocked.  It must be one of those angry people who are always shouting - thats usually the only ones I block.

 Did not know you could block! Nice tool!

 Oh my... I sure didn't mean to start all this!  I agree that I need to examine motivations, etc.  That said, if I don't talk about other things publically - I can't imagine being inconsistent to myself to talk about this.

Again, it isn't ashamed, embarrassed, etc.  It is 100% being a private person.  I've talked to my therapist about this ... someone that I started working with about this journey to ensure I remained healthy and did not do cross-addiction... he is completely supportive about talking to those who are closes to me.  I am not a poster person for this.  I tend to be shy and keep to myself, so even THIS post is a stretch for me.

i do not welcome eyes into my life or opinions about my life from those who do not know who I am, what I've been through, or what my goals are.  I see this as similar to having a baby.  It's no one else's opinion - whether I can afford it - when I do "it" to get the baby - or what the outcome is.

I do hope you all have a good day.  I didn't mean to start something... I am not a confrontational, controversial person.  Just putting one foot in front of the other.... I wish you all peace in your journey. If we don't stick together, we will fall apart.

Just sayin'...

 I don't think you started anything other than a spirited discussion.  I don't think anyone is not sticking together, we just don't see eye to eye on this issue.   I'm sure not mad at anyone! 

I am not ashamed or embarrassed.  I am just not the kind of person that discusses her business.  I don't discuss my finances, my underwear color, or my taste in men with most people either.  That's just me.  It always has been and always will be.   I resent the notion that because I haven't told everyone I had WLS that I am hiding.  I told the important people in my life. As I said above, if some asks HOW I lost it I will will tell them. If someone figures it out then good for them, I don't care.  If someone just says you look great I will thank them.  If someone asks how much I have lost (as my uncle who knows I had surgery constantly does) I just say  "a lot".   I sure don't want to be *that* recovering obese person that needs to witness WLS to the world nor do I want to be defined by it.  

If it works for you to tell everyone then by all means you should continue to do so.  It is, however, condescending and patronizing of you to suggest those of us that don't broadcast it have some kind of unresolved issue.    That may annoy you but I don't care.  Expect to see me repeat my feelings on this topic a lot.  

 
    

judging by above, I have earned ny first "ignore"...  why I am being ignored...I dont have a clue and thats OK too...

and yes, I will vehemently repeat my feelings that align with yours...     "If it works for you to tell everyone then by all means you should continue to do so.  It is, however, condescending and patronizing of you to suggest those of us that don't broadcast it have some kind of unresolved issue"



I agree 100% 

 I not once assumed anyone had any issues.  What I said was to EXAMINE your reasons.  It's not condescending to challenge someone to learn from their own feelings.  It's what we all have to do to make this wok.  It's not just diet and exercise.

I also never said I tell everyone in every situation.  I said that I use a situationally appropriate explanation.  In Dawns example below I wouldn't mention surgery at all at omeones wedding reception, that's about them not me.  At a business lunch, if omeone asks about my odd eating habits, and you'd be surpised how many do, I will state that I have had an abdominal surgery.  If omen ask how I Los 146 lbs in 33 weeks, I tell them I had weight loss surgery and diet n exercise.


I never said anyone had to follow my example, and I do wish people would stop reading that into what I said.

I've told everyone but as we all agree that is my business. Someone did ask me how my husband felt and my answer was "it's my body". Thankfully my husband is extremely supportive and a workout nut so he understood my frustration with my weight.

I agree with you 100%. There is nothing wrong with keeping it a secret. Everyone is different and everyone has their personal reasons for either telling people or not.
In the beginning, I didn't announce my surgery to everyone but I did tell a selected few who I felt confident that they would be supportive. I purposely did not tell certain people at first because I already knew they would be against it. I just didn't want to hear the negativity at all & I wanted to go into surgery knowing I was doing the right thing for me without having to think of bad comments I heard along my pre-op journey. Now when people ask, I tell everyone unless I just don't have time to explain myself.