My Husband is Acting 9 Kinds of Crazy - Help!
I am sad you are having to deal with this situation in your marriage. I am single, so have no advice on the marriage end, other than pray hard for him to become sober and for his thinking to be clear. Get counseling not only for your own sanity, but he needs it as well and then you would need it together. Counseling has helped heal so much of me, from the inside out. I hope and pray your relationship can be healed.
Seeking professional and spiritual guidance for the situation can be of great help and relief for you. Sometimes you just need to hear from someone else what steps to take and how to deal with an irrational situation and person. Alcoholics are never rational, so hopefully he will seek help and get the alcohol out of the equation.
It sounds to me like you do want to make your marriage work. I hope this is possible for you.
Seeking professional and spiritual guidance for the situation can be of great help and relief for you. Sometimes you just need to hear from someone else what steps to take and how to deal with an irrational situation and person. Alcoholics are never rational, so hopefully he will seek help and get the alcohol out of the equation.
It sounds to me like you do want to make your marriage work. I hope this is possible for you.
“Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness dismay us, and so we stay in the misty valleys and do not learn the mystery of the hills. We do not know what we lose in our self indulgence. What glory awaits us if only we had the courage for the mountain climb. What blessing we should find if only we would move to the uplands of God.? JRM
First off, dating shouldn't even be a concern right now, you need to learn to live as your own person before you can every be happy with or make anyone else happy. Secondly, who gives **** if he thinks you are a ***** or not. You aren't, you know you are not and that is all that matters. This isn't about the grass being greener and running out to find someone knew, this is about protecting you and your children and looking for someone else should be the last thing on your mind.
"likes" all these comments
Single mom here and yes it is hard some days but get yourself into a routine and stick to it. Sounds like you are coming up with excuses to stay but knowing what can possibly happen when the fear inside some people when they find out you are leaving with the kids can cauae them to do terrible things. I hope you can leave while he is away from the home without him knowing and please do not give him your new location unless a judge orders it.
My ex continually called the cops on me, my child was told that mommy was going to jail and police were coming to get me, not sure for what but learned it was type of the abuse that he tried. I lived in the area for a year after leaving and had to move away. My moving away day , my family said they counted cops going by and I said yes, this is the way I lived for the past year because of my ex. None of my family knew how bad it was, but I just got to the point of waving to them to let them know I was aware of their presence because they were really harassing me from stories my ex would tell them, I was doing nothing wrong just he had friends in the department that believed everything her said lol. What a waste of tax payers dollars. So telling you this for your own protection and keeping your address unknown if you do leave him.
Single mom here and yes it is hard some days but get yourself into a routine and stick to it. Sounds like you are coming up with excuses to stay but knowing what can possibly happen when the fear inside some people when they find out you are leaving with the kids can cauae them to do terrible things. I hope you can leave while he is away from the home without him knowing and please do not give him your new location unless a judge orders it.
My ex continually called the cops on me, my child was told that mommy was going to jail and police were coming to get me, not sure for what but learned it was type of the abuse that he tried. I lived in the area for a year after leaving and had to move away. My moving away day , my family said they counted cops going by and I said yes, this is the way I lived for the past year because of my ex. None of my family knew how bad it was, but I just got to the point of waving to them to let them know I was aware of their presence because they were really harassing me from stories my ex would tell them, I was doing nothing wrong just he had friends in the department that believed everything her said lol. What a waste of tax payers dollars. So telling you this for your own protection and keeping your address unknown if you do leave him.
Pre op 6 lbs lost, M1 - 23 lbs M2 - 11 lbs M3 - 12 M4 - 6 M5 -10 M6 -10 M7 -7 M8 - 4 M9 - 4
M10- 4 M11 - 5 M12 - 0
The only one advice I have for you:
Leave him.
He will not change - unless he wants to. It doe snot sound as he wants to.
Why do you value yourself so little to stay in the bad - abusive relationship? for the children? what kind of an example are you giving them? what are you teaching them? that is is OK to be abused? or that is is OK to abuse others...
Please get help - for you and children. (HUGS)
BTW: I used to be married to an alcoholic. It got progressively worse... I had enough - he did not want to get help - we split (amicable). I wish him best - just do not wanted to be in the same household as he is.
It is not the surgery - but the way he treats you that may make you make the hard decision to leave him. It is his choice - not yours. (HUGS)
Leave him.
He will not change - unless he wants to. It doe snot sound as he wants to.
Why do you value yourself so little to stay in the bad - abusive relationship? for the children? what kind of an example are you giving them? what are you teaching them? that is is OK to be abused? or that is is OK to abuse others...
Please get help - for you and children. (HUGS)
BTW: I used to be married to an alcoholic. It got progressively worse... I had enough - he did not want to get help - we split (amicable). I wish him best - just do not wanted to be in the same household as he is.
It is not the surgery - but the way he treats you that may make you make the hard decision to leave him. It is his choice - not yours. (HUGS)
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Children would rather be FROM a broken home than LIVE in a broken home.
You can not change him all you can do is change yourself and your actions.
Seek counceling for you and your children and then move on to enjoy the wonderful lives you deserve.
What happenns to him is his responsibility lone not yours!
Live the life you deserve not the one HE thinks you deserve!
You can not change him all you can do is change yourself and your actions.
Seek counceling for you and your children and then move on to enjoy the wonderful lives you deserve.
What happenns to him is his responsibility lone not yours!
Live the life you deserve not the one HE thinks you deserve!
I have started an action plan over the last 3 months. I have a safe where I have gathered all of the titles to our things and all important papers for the house and kids. I am trying to save money and pay towards debt because everything is in my name. He wasn’t a responsible young adult and so everything is in my name only including both of our houses, all of our cars, boat etc. The downside to that is ALL of the debt sits in my name. I don’t know how that translates to dividing property. I would hope if he gets half the cash he also gets half the debt. My salary won’t cover all of our bills and our day to day living. My parents live in our other home. They know at anytime we might have to move back into our old house. I can’t afford to pay for both houses alone and he can afford the large home. I would be afraid he would challenge me for the kids and attempt to empty our accounts; especially if he is residing in our home. This concerns me. I haven’t met with a lawyer as I am under the impression that they charge for an initial consultation, is that true? If he finds out I see a lawyer crap will hit the fan. My hope is that I can wait it out until we are debt free besides our home so I can afford to keep me and the kids in our home and send him packing. He isn’t physically abusive so I keep thinking if I can wait a few more months, then we will be in a better place to make it on our own.
(VSG - 10/20/2011)
HT: 5'9
Age: 28
Are you collecting evidence of his alcoholism and abuse? If you can prove in court that he has been acting this way, no judge in their right mind would ever allow him to take those kids from you.
Please don't wait it out just until the "right time" comes... the "right time" will never happen. Life happens, and if you keep waiting for the right moment, something will always be in the way.
My husband's great grandfather was an abusive alcoholic. I'm not going to tell you his story, because it's too terrible to repeat here, but the longer you stay, the more power you are giving him. It's just going to get harder and harder. Your credit can be repaired. Your life? Your kids' lives? Not so much. There are more important things in life than a credit score. Ditch the house, ditch the credit cards if you have to, get out and then call an attorney to help minimize the damage, but only after you and your kids are safe.
Please don't wait it out just until the "right time" comes... the "right time" will never happen. Life happens, and if you keep waiting for the right moment, something will always be in the way.
My husband's great grandfather was an abusive alcoholic. I'm not going to tell you his story, because it's too terrible to repeat here, but the longer you stay, the more power you are giving him. It's just going to get harder and harder. Your credit can be repaired. Your life? Your kids' lives? Not so much. There are more important things in life than a credit score. Ditch the house, ditch the credit cards if you have to, get out and then call an attorney to help minimize the damage, but only after you and your kids are safe.
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 130
Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)
There are many lawyers who do give a free initial consult, you just have to call and ask or find them in the yellow pages. They can help send you in the right direction. If nothing else has helped you make a clear decision, how about this....take you out of the equation, put your kids safety and mental stability first. Is this a safe home for them...no. Are they being abused in any way.....yes. I would bring up counseling to him if he refuses, and he most likely will, there is your answer. What are you more afraid of a new life abuse free or living the rest of your life with him abusing you and the children? Your in a cycle of abuse and it's only going to get worse. Divorce is painful, but then again so is abuse. You can recover better from divorce than you can any form of abuse. Just my two cents.
~Susan~
Most Active
Recent Topics
