HELP What Can I Do -- Who Can I Turn To????

Thank you very much. Monica.  Your kind words are appreciated. 

I will keep my numbers to myself now.  You're right about that.  And there's nothing wrong with being an ostrich sometimes!  At least if I keep my head buried in the sand, I CAN'T bang it against the wall LOL LOL LOL

I'm just glad I didn't cook for him yesterday -- took a lot for me to do that, but maybe it taught him a lesson????  And I didn't turn to food for comfort -- amazing and made me so happy!

You're so close to goal -- good luck getting there...........I'm cheering you on!

Ree

Thanks, IP, its difficult at this stage, those last 15 lbs are NOT going without a fight!

He may not learn any lessons, but they are his lessons to learn, not yours to teach him. 

 This situation reminds me of a picture I posted on facebook the other day, its a cat doing a self portrait, and the picture he's painting is of a lion. the caption is "it doesn't matter how other's see you, its how you see yourself"

be a lioness. You're the one who matters, here!! rawr!!!!!

 What a difficult situation, my heart goes out to you.  I think that if something like that happens again simply name the emotion that he invoked.   Do this in a non-confrontational manner... something like "your comment is hurtful towards me... I am not looking for rewards, but neither am I looking for you to make this more difficult than what it already is."  Don't make the mistake of rewarding his crappy behavior- he must be getting something out of it if he is doing it and it is a persistent pattern for him.  Try to identify what he gets out of it and take that away.  

Maybe with your morning coffee go over a mental list of 10 positive things about yourself.  I think taking the time to acknowledge the small details in  ones life is a powerful thing.  Be kind to yourself!

I am idateacher2 at mfp if you would like to friend up. 

Thanks for the ideas and the offer to friend up on MFP - I need to find the little piece of paper I wrote my name on for there LOL

I believe that some people don't need an excuse to be jerkwads........it's just who they are.  I ignore him as much as possible and have learned my lesson to keep my joys to myself instead of trying to share them with him.

What I'm most pleased about it that I didn't turn to food.  I made myself feel the crappy emotions and then brushed myself off and got on with my plan.  This is a great learning experience and a great science experiment.............I'm embracing that and hoping for the best.

Thanks again.

Ree

Your husband was being a DOUCHER!! My in-laws are about the same age...my father-in-law is doucher too. He treats my mother-in-law the same way. At the end of the day, he is just jealous and worried about the person he knows you are becoming. If he wasn't scared, he wouldn't give you crap like donuts to sabotage your efforts!! Look at it that way, he is trying to keep you from being successful. Don't allow it for even a second!!!! He is being a DOUCHER....don't let his butt-head comments get to you!!!

PS: MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!!!

Thank you for your comments............actually, I have to thank you for the giggles!!!    First of all, I love you name!  Too cute!  And, yes, these old geezers get nervous and scared, but that doesn't give them the right to be cruel.  I hope your mother-in-law finds the courage to smack her husband -- if not literally, at least figuratively.  I get "my own back" by not cooking for him!  That makes him suffer his own cooking rather than having mine -- I'm a darned good cook!

As an official old geezerette as of last weekend, I can tell you that life at 65 is GREAT and I'm looking forward to so much more.  I had the surgery to help with my Chronic Kidney Disease and to try to get my Type II into remission.  That one seems to be done already -- and after only a month out.  The kidney stuff is vastly improved also..........I've even gone from one stage to a higher stage - if it keeps up, I could possibly reach a normal level for my age!  I'm thrilled.  This weight loss I see as an exceptionally valuable added bonus!

Please stay on the board and keep us posted on your progress toward getting your surgery.  It's the BEST thing you'll ever do -- maybe second best after having children.  I'll be rooting for your success............stay in touch!

Ree