social anxiety at the gym?

kristen D.
on 8/8/12 3:42 am - Middletown, NY
VSG on 09/25/12
I'm still in my pre op stage.. I want to start working out and joined the gym. Every time i've tried to go, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, and end up going home. It's totally crazy, I really don't know anyone in my area so I have no reason to feel embarrassed in front of anyone. worse off is my hubby  has been more than willing to come with me.. I hate that I get like this. anyone else feel this way? or overcome it?
    
moonglo82
on 8/8/12 3:54 am
VSG on 03/29/12
I know the feeling!

The biggest lesson I've had to learn the hard way is that not everyone, especially at the gym, was judging me for my weight as much as I thought they were.

In fact, I happened to make an off-handed comment to a guy at the gym one night because I was impressed with his workout. I said that I wished I could do all of that, and that I wanted to work my way up to some of the things he was able to do. His response was, "hey, at least you're here! You could be like everyone else who's sitting at home eating in front of the TV... but you're not!"

This was when I was about 230 pounds. I'm only 5'2, so 230 on me translated to about a size 20 pants.

A month or two later, I tried a bootcamp class at my gym, just to see how it would work. It was HOT outside, where we were having the class, and several of the other women took their shirts off and were doing the workout in shorts and their sports bras. One of them even encouraged me to do the same when we got ready to do crunches (she suggested I use my shirt as a pillow so I didn't get grass in my hair). I gave in and took the shirt off so that I too was wearing nothing but a sports bra from the waist up, and not one person batted an eye. No repulsed looks, no cringing, no awkwardness. At all. I think I weighed closer to 210 at that point, but again, remember my height... I was about a size 16 at that point.

My point in all of that rambling is that not everyone at the gym thinks they are better than those of us who look like we need to be in the gym lol. In fact, you never know where the other people at the gym started their fitness journey... some of them may know exactly how you feel because, for all you know, they may have been there too.

I think it's great that your husband is willing to go with you. Take advantage of that! My husband and I are growing closer now that we have similar goals, including working out at least five days a week. If he wants to be able to cheer you on, definitely give him that opportunity. I bet you'll be glad you did

You can do this!

    
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250  Surgery Weight: 241  Current Weight: 130

Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)


 

jenngirl
on 8/8/12 4:11 am
VSG on 06/25/12
I love this!! I love the courage that it took to follow suit in the boot camp class!!
moonglo82
on 8/8/12 4:21 am
VSG on 03/29/12
Haha thanks :)  I was shocked by how normal I felt.  This is not something I would normally ever do, but something about the fact that these skinny people were even suggesting that I should consider it gave me the boost I needed to go for it. 

    
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250  Surgery Weight: 241  Current Weight: 130

Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)


 

tripmom02
on 8/8/12 5:25 am - NJ
 Good for you! I struggle with my body image and it was HARD for me to let go, but just the other day I said Eff it, it's hot and I took off my shirt and ran in just my tank top, I may not look like all the life long skinny people on the trail, but damn it, I am out there and I earned the right to be comfortable. If my body bothers someone else, that's on THEM, not me. 

Took me a long time to get to that point, but it's so freeing! 

Courtney - Lap band to VSG revision
      

    
Diane W.
on 8/8/12 3:55 am
yes, I did feel like that when I first started going to the gym. But a dear friend of mine told me to keep repeating "this is destressing but not life threatening" and just move the muscles!!!!! Easier said then done but it helped me get through the doors. I also keep my ear plugs in with my music playing so I can focus on exercising and not have to worry about anyone trying to engage me in conversation. So far it has worked!! Good luck and hope you find your way through the doors, it certainly has helped me!
jenngirl
on 8/8/12 4:07 am
VSG on 06/25/12

This is a story I saw somewhere, and I keep it at the back o of my mind..it reminds me that not everyone is judging me, and I may...just may be, inspiring someone else to embark their own journey.

Never give up!! Do this for you!! I am heading back to the gym after several years. It is, however, an all women's gym, but I look forward to going.

This is for you..The name of the story is:

Hey Fat Girl

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home.  You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week". Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

moonglo82
on 8/8/12 4:24 am
VSG on 03/29/12
I'm so glad you posted this here!  I remember seeing it on a thread a while back, but I couldn't remember the name of the thread or the name of the story to go back and look for it.  Love it!

    
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250  Surgery Weight: 241  Current Weight: 130

Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)


 

(deactivated member)
on 8/8/12 5:23 am - WA
 This made me cry. It's beautiful
ib40
on 8/8/12 4:14 am
I think you need to pay close attention to which gym you choose. Some are more meat markets than true fitness gyms. If you find one that is hard core and there to transform people, you are good to go. We have a very nice, popular gym that a lot of doctors and their wives use in town (it is associated with a hospital). Many of those people are friends and acquaintances of mine, but it is one of those places where women put on make-up BEFORE they work out. I just can't do that. I found a new gym that caters to transformative workouts, setting up a plan for working out to get results. There are all different body types there (although the trainers are all pretty buff)with many different ability levels.



 



 

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