Being OK without PS

Yeah... I hate bra shoppping now!  I'll probably wear my bras as long as I can before replacing them to avoid going through that again!  It took me about a week of hell to find the ones I wear now... and they still don't quite get the job done.

Yup!  I'm noticing lately that I have a little of it even with sports bras.  At least I don't care as much about my appearance at the gym as other outings, so that's not AS big of a deal lol.

At 3 years out, I'm not sure I have accepted it. I don't think there is a level of just accepting feeling like crap about oneself. I don't care how great I look in those skinny jeans and slinky top with calf high tight as hell boots, I still know what I look like naked. However, it is what it is. Mentally/emotionally, I just deal with it.

I can NOT and will NOT accept the wrinkles on my face. I will be doing Botox, and I will be having a tummy tuck next year. I've had Botox planned/scheduled twice and both times I've popped a big fat positive so I've canceled.

There are things I do know about that first year of maintenance. My skin did rebound really well. My arms tightened up super well, my thighs were still pretty jacked up, but with each passing month, the skin looked better, still wrinkly, but not so sharpei looking. My butt is a lost cause, and I don't have to look at it so it doesn't bother me. The TT is being covered by insurance due to the 2 csections and skin being stretched back out again. That's the ONLY reason I 'm getting the TT.

 Yeah I don't think I'm going to get a TT out of tricare.  While I do have a pani, it's not huge and I have no rashes or anything so I know I'm on my own.  My butt has taken a serious beating, what is there (most has disapeared) is just a melted blob.  

I had the skin issues documented for 2.5 years, and then wound healing issues with fragile skin from multiple csections. That's the only way I'm qualifying.

Ugh.. this is something I battle from time to time now. It was worse when I was in my early 20's and was surprised by it after a huge weight loss.. this was pre-support boards, so I had no idea what I'd be left with.. it's about the same as now. This time I knew what was in store, so the emotional blow was a lot less intense.

Same financial concerns, plus fear of pain/recovery due to my lack of tolerance for a lot of pain meds.. plus I'm really not sure I want to deal with the down-time.. it's only an emotional/mental issue for me- and most of the time, not even a biggie.. but I fear as I work harder, and gain more muscle and get more fixated on improving my shape, that it will only get worse. I want to get stronger, but fear what that attention paid to my physique will do to my feelings on my skin.

I used to feel more ugly with the skin than the fat filling it out when I was younger, and I think to a degree- that also made my regain far easier to accept as it happened.. so watch out for that. It's sneaky. By the time (time is the only thing that seems to help a little).. by the time I started feeling better in my skin- I had started regaining..

I get fillers for my face now, and that to me is worth every penny for the difference it makes.. I too was someone that figured, nah- I'd never bother.. well, when you start looking sunken, just a couple syringes and you look great again- bingo. My arms, they are nicely tone- but the wrinkled drapes hanging from them really, really bug me- so those WILL go someday, I know the cost, and that's do-able.. it's the stuff I can hide under clothes that I'm waffling on.. I'll never get rid of the paunch without plastics on my belly.. and I know from pulling it this way and that just how small and tone I'd look.. and I want to see that- for me, for my husband (who could care less, he loves me skin or no.. but supports me when finances are up to par again if I want it done) but.. but.. I just am struggling with the financial investment, time investment, possible complications.. etc.

In a perfect world I'd maybe have the breasts lifted, no implants if I could help it- I like them smaller.. I'd have a LBL, thigh lift and brachio.. later maybe a brow lift! Weirdly, if money were no object, I'd seriously give it more consideration.. but it's a toss- I want to travel, my skin gives me no physical issues.. and the emotional/mental issues are far reduced from what they were 16 yrs ago.. so, do I settle and use that money for living the life I want seeing new places, or roll the dice again.. that's my concern, to me it feels like gambling. My wonderful husband said he would support me, and even travel with me for surgery if I decide to go to Sauceda, which is a strong option.. if/when I do it. I also want to give myself at least a year in my body before changing things up.. so I'm in no rush.

Only my closest friends and husband ever see me naked, and I frankly don't really care, I know they love me as I am.. I just WANT to feel TIGHT vs saggy.. it's a disconnect between how I *should feel* vs reality. I hate compression shapewear, I have some- Slimpressions, and I will wear them if I've got something especially slinky on as it smooths the side-boob and belly without being binding.. they are good- the Have-Not's, I don't care for the ones with the chest coverage.. those are called the Haves..

Sorry, no real advice... just more commiserating..

 I could have written this post. Like you, I wanted to see where I was after one year of maintaining, for many of the same reasons that you wrote about, but also to see, if I could maintain for a year. It has been 16 months and I am getting closer to having some plastics done. I am older, so my skin didn't rebound as much, but there has improvement over the past year. I think, I will be glad that I waited. The weight training helped to get rid of my flat butt, so I have some muscle there. Even the couple of PS consults that I had, both surgeons remarked on how much muscle I had and that would help the results. I still have the droopy butt (sigh) and saggy, wrinkly arms (another sigh). It is bothering me more, so I am getting ready to have some work done. I think the weight training has made me even more aware and displeased with the saggy skin. I know, I have some abs underneath the saggy skin. I wish I could see them.



gail

 It is tough and maybe another part of my slacking on the weight loss lately.  I had a little cry when I realized that I think my face and body in some ways look worse, not better.  That sucks.

I knew going in that my arms would be a problem.  Pre op I was already dealing with the size of my upper arm pushing me up a shirt size.  Still a problem.  I don't want my shirts to fit poorly everywhere else because of my batwings.  In theory I could have every shirt altered, but not really practical as alterations cost more than the shirts I buy.

I'm not exactly hopeful about getting plastics, but I am determined that it will happen some day if I can find any way at all.  If I have to work two jobs and drive a beater car so be it.  Both are hopefully temporary.  My arms will be with me for however long I'm here.

Sorry I'm not much help with acceptance.  I do think that I have realistic expectations of PS.  I still don't expect to look great naked, I'm just going for looking good with clothes on.

Oh, and I am hoping for good things with that fat redistribution thing.  I would like some fat in my butt, and in my face please.  The fat on my middle is welcome to relocate.

 If you figure out a way to talk it into relocating, PLEASE let me know!