Grief and the post VSG

 So I'm putting my best friend of 16 yrs down today.  Not only has he been around since before the husband and children, he was the last present my father bought me before my father passed away.  Obby (the dog) has crossed the Atlantic Ocean, lived in multiple countries (he speaks german even) and he is so much a part of me I can't even think of what it is going to be like without him around.

He's been going down hill for a while, and yesterday I just realized how selfish I was being so I'm letting him go today.  I can't stop crying and pretty much it sucks.  And still I think of food.  Before surgery, I'd be stuffing my face with donuts or whatever to help dull the pain.  And while I don't want to do that I really don't want to feel this crappy either.  I really realize how much I used it to dull everything and right now I miss that very much.

I know I need to just feel this and get it out of my system and remember him for everything wonderful that he is but does anyone else have any coping mechanisms that may help me through the worst of this?

 I'm so sorry for your pain and totally know what you are going through. My Maggie, Lhaso Apso was with me longer than any man, was the only one to live in my house with me the entire time we have been here and is my best friend and love of my life. I had to let her go 1 year ago on August 9th. It  was devastating for me and I still cry occasionally. I can tell you it will get better, but I know you don't want to hear that now. Take peace in that you are doing what is best for Obby and not you. It took me many weeks to get to that point with Maggie, I prayed to GOD every night to let me know when it was the right time, I didn't want to be selfish, but didn't want to let her go either. Then the one night came where Maggie let me know herself; she layed in my arms (which she didn't do normally) looked into my eyes and let out a huge sigh. I told her at that point I knew what she wanted/needed. So if you have gotten your sign. follow it and know you put your best friend first.

On a side note, in the one year she has been gone, I've rescued three dogs. I think my heart is finally full again.
The food won't fill the emptiness in your heart, take some time and find a new friend that needs you as much as you need him/her. Good luck to you today, and crying is a good thing.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 I'm so sorry for your loss!  My dogs (3 schnauzers) are like my children.  I can't imagine your pain.  I don't know that I have any great coping mechanisms to share, I just wanted to send you hugs and let you know you'll be in my prayers!

I'm so sorry for the two of you. It's never easy letting a furry family member leave us. They know our secrets our moods and they love us no matter what we look like or how we sound. They have always been there to heal us make us laugh and at times cried with us. Letting go isn't easy and it sucks but think beyond, now there will be no more pain and Obby will run free and meet your Dad at the bridge. Take a walk or go riding let his spirit be with you! Again my thoughts are with you. - Tracey

I put my 16 1/2 year old girl down on July 23. It was devastating. I cried. I wept. I vomited when I tried to eat luch that day. It was awful. However, I vowed not to use food to get through the pain and sadness. What happened instead was I dealt with it. I FELT it. And I got over it.

I still miss her, of course, but I'm okay and I know I did the right thing. I can't say that I liked the process without using a coping tool, but I can say I highly recommend dealing with the feelings. The whole dealing thing actually works! (go figure...)

If I can do it without food, so can you.

My heart is with you today. I'm so sorry you have lost your buddy. Traum suss, Obby! (sorry, no umlauts!)

Oh hrford, I'm so sorry.  My kitty and my guinea pig both died this year, so I know about the grief you are feeling right now.  

Don't dull it, feel it through to the end.  I've come to believe that feeling it hard and honest gets it over with faster than dulling it and having it under the surface.  Of course we never truly "get over" the loss of a loved one, but I hope you know what I mean.

Celebrate Obby's life, and feel grateful that you could give him a good, happy, and loving home while I walked this earth.  He was one blessed dog to have you as his mama :-)

Take good care....

--Dorothy 

 I am so sorry for your loss.   It is so hard and knowing that you are doing the right thing never seems to make it easier.  The last time that I went through this I called my sister for comfort.  Maybe a loved one can help you too.  I am so sorry. 

First, I'll echo what everybody else has said .... this sucks big time!  I've been through it more times than I wish to think about it.  There is no coping tool for this.  These little animals bring such joy and unconditional love into our lives and it is just DEVASTATING when we have to let them go.

It is just horrible.  Period!

You said:  "Before surgery, I'd be stuffing my face with donuts or whatever to help dull the pain.  And while I don't want to do that I really don't want to feel this crappy either."  

I'm guessing you already know the answer to this .... you're still going to feel crappy whether you eat or not.  We've all been there too.  When I was doing it, maybe it dulled the pain for "that moment" but I was well aware of how disgusted with myself I was -- and how disgusted I would be after it was all over.  The food won't change the feelings.

My heart breaks for you.  God bless your little one!

 Thank you everyone for the kind words.  It is done and it just hit me that he's been with my for my entire adulthood.  I'm not even sure who I'm going to be without him.  Anyway I leave you with a pic of him in his prime:

 

That's a great picture!  What a wonderful face on your boy.  Thank you for sharing with us.