Some very important learnings about myself
Yes, this will probably be another random rant with no real meaning other than sharing the crazy thoughts that fly through my head, so I hope you bear with me. I hope someone can relate to my tale, and maybe others will be encouraged that you are not alone.
A little back story...I have been aggressively focusing on meeting my daily goals for protein, calories, and exercise(not so much on the exercise, but its getting better). I have been averaging 500 calories per day(that is total carbs, not NET for the MFP users). I feel full and fulfilled. I have a shake for breakfast, salad for lunch with 2 oz of grilled chicken or shrimp, a shake in the afternoon with a cheese stick and sliced meat for dinner(whatever meat is part of our family meal). I might eat 3 oz. at dinner, if I can fit it in, but usually just 2 oz.
Now that those details are out of the way, I see my surgiversary creeping up on the horizon and I want to be to goal by one year. I have been a stair step loser and my stair steps are getting farther and farther apart. In the past 3 weeks, I have NOT LOST ONE SINGLE POUND!! You read that right, not one pound. I have lost a few inches but not like I have in the past. I have been honest about what I'm eating and I make sure to get in at least 9 glasses of water per day, so I am truthfully following my program to a tee!!
Yes, following all the rules and being a good girl and seeing no measurable results at all is frustrating beyond measure. Being the logical person I am, I know I haven't consumed enough on any given day to have gained anything(thank God above for statistics and chemistry). Being an emotional person whose happiness is more closely tied to success than I'd like to admit, I am losing my mind and ready to throw in the towel.
The throwing in the towel is where my epiphany came. As I was having a self-pity moment and pouting to my husband, I told him I was ready to chuck it all and go buy the snickers bar I've been avoiding. I wanted to make mashed potatoes and eat the whole bowl because they are a slider food!! My husband fell off the couch laughing and told me to get a grip. He reminded me that the times I've stolen a bite or two of his candy that I complained that it wasn't very good and total waste of my calories. He also reminded me that I don't like mashed potatoes.
His laughter triggered a different thought process for me(this is where it gets good so keep up with me): If I were to "fall off the wagon" what would I change about the way I'm eating now? Is this just a diet until I get to live life again or is this my life? I always knew that I had forever changed my mentality when having this surgery, and I never expected to go back to the "old" way of doing things once I hit a magic number, but I never really put that into practice until now.
This made me sit down and take a good hard look at what I eat and if given the opportunity to change(or quit this process) what would I do differently? What sinful foods would I welcome back into my diet? The answer was surprisingly NOTHING. I am happy with what I put in my body and I really wouldn't want to change it. Sure, potato chips taste good, but I really don't want to live on crap like that. I enjoy the way I feel on my current path and this is the way of life for me. I used to eat Hershey with Almonds every day for breakfast and wa**** down with a 20 oz. coke. Nothing about that sounds attractive to me at all!!
So here I am stuck between the emotions and my mind. I know I am doing the right things and it hurts to see no measurable results of the effort. I WANT to cheat, not because cheating will give me comfort per se. I want to cheat so that I will have given a cause to my "stall". If there is no reason or blame to be placed, then it just is what it is and there is no solid explanation and the unknown is killing me!! I want to cheat and yet my current version of cheating would involve forcefully eating an extra cheese stick for a snack!! I think I have officially gone insane.
I am happy and fulfilled on this journey and I know that I have seen results that make me a statistical success, but I want more. I feel like I am doing everything I can to acheive more and I am not seeing the results I want. I want to say I am no longer obese(2 more BMI points and I'm there). I would love to be in the "normal" range, but right now overweight looks damn good to me. I know this sounds like a lunatic wrote it so I hope someone will understand that place where I am.
A little back story...I have been aggressively focusing on meeting my daily goals for protein, calories, and exercise(not so much on the exercise, but its getting better). I have been averaging 500 calories per day(that is total carbs, not NET for the MFP users). I feel full and fulfilled. I have a shake for breakfast, salad for lunch with 2 oz of grilled chicken or shrimp, a shake in the afternoon with a cheese stick and sliced meat for dinner(whatever meat is part of our family meal). I might eat 3 oz. at dinner, if I can fit it in, but usually just 2 oz.
Now that those details are out of the way, I see my surgiversary creeping up on the horizon and I want to be to goal by one year. I have been a stair step loser and my stair steps are getting farther and farther apart. In the past 3 weeks, I have NOT LOST ONE SINGLE POUND!! You read that right, not one pound. I have lost a few inches but not like I have in the past. I have been honest about what I'm eating and I make sure to get in at least 9 glasses of water per day, so I am truthfully following my program to a tee!!
Yes, following all the rules and being a good girl and seeing no measurable results at all is frustrating beyond measure. Being the logical person I am, I know I haven't consumed enough on any given day to have gained anything(thank God above for statistics and chemistry). Being an emotional person whose happiness is more closely tied to success than I'd like to admit, I am losing my mind and ready to throw in the towel.
The throwing in the towel is where my epiphany came. As I was having a self-pity moment and pouting to my husband, I told him I was ready to chuck it all and go buy the snickers bar I've been avoiding. I wanted to make mashed potatoes and eat the whole bowl because they are a slider food!! My husband fell off the couch laughing and told me to get a grip. He reminded me that the times I've stolen a bite or two of his candy that I complained that it wasn't very good and total waste of my calories. He also reminded me that I don't like mashed potatoes.
His laughter triggered a different thought process for me(this is where it gets good so keep up with me): If I were to "fall off the wagon" what would I change about the way I'm eating now? Is this just a diet until I get to live life again or is this my life? I always knew that I had forever changed my mentality when having this surgery, and I never expected to go back to the "old" way of doing things once I hit a magic number, but I never really put that into practice until now.
This made me sit down and take a good hard look at what I eat and if given the opportunity to change(or quit this process) what would I do differently? What sinful foods would I welcome back into my diet? The answer was surprisingly NOTHING. I am happy with what I put in my body and I really wouldn't want to change it. Sure, potato chips taste good, but I really don't want to live on crap like that. I enjoy the way I feel on my current path and this is the way of life for me. I used to eat Hershey with Almonds every day for breakfast and wa**** down with a 20 oz. coke. Nothing about that sounds attractive to me at all!!
So here I am stuck between the emotions and my mind. I know I am doing the right things and it hurts to see no measurable results of the effort. I WANT to cheat, not because cheating will give me comfort per se. I want to cheat so that I will have given a cause to my "stall". If there is no reason or blame to be placed, then it just is what it is and there is no solid explanation and the unknown is killing me!! I want to cheat and yet my current version of cheating would involve forcefully eating an extra cheese stick for a snack!! I think I have officially gone insane.
I am happy and fulfilled on this journey and I know that I have seen results that make me a statistical success, but I want more. I feel like I am doing everything I can to acheive more and I am not seeing the results I want. I want to say I am no longer obese(2 more BMI points and I'm there). I would love to be in the "normal" range, but right now overweight looks damn good to me. I know this sounds like a lunatic wrote it so I hope someone will understand that place where I am.
Your post made me smile. You are getting this, really truly getting it. The end result will be you at goal and peaceful about your food. Really, based on your post, I can make this prediction without holding anything back. You have this.
On another note, any interest in going over your food choices to see if we can tweak your numbers to get you losing again? I might have a few "tricks" learned from my doctor that might help you. On the other hand, I am totally confident that if you change nothing at all, you will eventually get to goal too.
On another note, any interest in going over your food choices to see if we can tweak your numbers to get you losing again? I might have a few "tricks" learned from my doctor that might help you. On the other hand, I am totally confident that if you change nothing at all, you will eventually get to goal too.
Thank you so much for your kind words and offer of assistance. Coming from you, that bears more weight(no pun intended) than you realize.
My normal daily routine is as follows:
B:24 oz water/crystal light with one scoop Nectar Roadside lemonade protein.
Vitamins: 2 Multi-vites(10 calories per), 2 Biotin(zero calories)
Snack: Frigo fat free cheese stick
Lunch: Baby Spinach and butter lettuce salad(1/2 cup). One TBSP Olive Garden Dressing, 2 oz. rotisserie chicken(John Soule's)
PM Snack: 24 oz. water/crystal light Nectar Roadisde lemonade protein
Dinner: 2 oz dinner meat(typically grilled chicken with lemon, grilled tilapia w/lemon pepper, grilled shrimp, occasionally grilled pork loin)
I worry I might be eating too few calories, but when I eat the dense proteins like this, I really can't comfortably fit much more in.
I gladly welcome your thoughts or any tweaks or comments you may have. I was a beef jerky addict, but I have tried to steer away from it simply because of the high sodium.
My normal daily routine is as follows:
B:24 oz water/crystal light with one scoop Nectar Roadside lemonade protein.
Vitamins: 2 Multi-vites(10 calories per), 2 Biotin(zero calories)
Snack: Frigo fat free cheese stick
Lunch: Baby Spinach and butter lettuce salad(1/2 cup). One TBSP Olive Garden Dressing, 2 oz. rotisserie chicken(John Soule's)
PM Snack: 24 oz. water/crystal light Nectar Roadisde lemonade protein
Dinner: 2 oz dinner meat(typically grilled chicken with lemon, grilled tilapia w/lemon pepper, grilled shrimp, occasionally grilled pork loin)
I worry I might be eating too few calories, but when I eat the dense proteins like this, I really can't comfortably fit much more in.
I gladly welcome your thoughts or any tweaks or comments you may have. I was a beef jerky addict, but I have tried to steer away from it simply because of the high sodium.
Wow, your eating is perfect. I rarely can't find something to tweak, but you are amazing. I would say, just keep doing what you are doing. I would not recommend increasing calories, as it will only backfire in the long term. You can read more about the research behind this on Macmadame's fattyfightsback blog. You really are doing a fantastic job, and I bet when the stall breaks, you will lose quite a bit very quickly. I had a few "stalls" that lasted three weeks, when they broke, I lost about a pound a day for two weeks straight. It was pretty amazing. I wish the same to you.
After I hit send, I thought of something you might try. I would give this a shot, this "trick" comes from my doctor's advice when I hit a few mini stalls. Increase you protein count, yes, this will increase your calories a bit, but try to keep the carbs as low as you can, and bump up the lean protein, maybe try to hit 100 grams for a week or two. See if that shakes things up enough to get things moving again. It should not cost you, weight wise. Make sure you are still under 800 calories overall.
After I hit send, I thought of something you might try. I would give this a shot, this "trick" comes from my doctor's advice when I hit a few mini stalls. Increase you protein count, yes, this will increase your calories a bit, but try to keep the carbs as low as you can, and bump up the lean protein, maybe try to hit 100 grams for a week or two. See if that shakes things up enough to get things moving again. It should not cost you, weight wise. Make sure you are still under 800 calories overall.
Welcome to Looney Tunes Ville....I live there too! Your not alone in feeling crazy. I feel like that one day and at total peace the next, Crazy.
I've come to accept it is the "process" of this wacky road to goal and self discovery. I feel in the end the "at total peace" days will out number the crazy one for me.
Your post helps me. That is the purpose of this platform.
Thanks for sharing.
I've come to accept it is the "process" of this wacky road to goal and self discovery. I feel in the end the "at total peace" days will out number the crazy one for me.
Your post helps me. That is the purpose of this platform.
Thanks for sharing.
Band 5/2006 Revision to VSG 5/2012
Your post really helps me too. I am, I think, much more afraid of failing than of the actual surgery a week tomorrow. When I was constructing my food plan in my mind I was also planning to eat like what you described. Maybe an egg for breakfast rather than a shake but lunch and snacks and dinner would be pretty much as you described. I hope we both get to the pot of gold ...goal and especially to feel at peace with food and not feel like its a life long diet but just a normal diet for a good, healthy and long life.
5ft0; highest weight 222; surgery weight 208; current weight 120
Failure!!! That is the big word I have been avoiding, so thank you for putting it out there. Failure has been my closet fear from the beginning. Every stall had me wondering if this was "it"?! I cried many a time to my husband, "I am going to be the only person in history to fail at this." Looking back, that sounds crazy, but I believe every single one of us have that fear. Nothing else has ever worked so a part of us is ready for that to be the case with this process too. If you work it, you can be successful. Statistically speaking, 60% excess weight loss is a surgical success, but I'm an overacheiving perfectionist. I want it all!! I want 100% excess weight loss. Of course I want it on my terms in my time. I can hear God laughing at me now!!
Good Luck to you next week. You will come out better for it on the other side. This journey is tough and it requires a lot out of each person who walks it, so rest when you can, keep your strength and your spirits up, and vent like a crazy person...Apparently its all part of the process. I can't wait to hear your success story!
A side note, I have a protein shake instead of an egg because eggs sit very heavy on my stomach and I couldn't get all my fluids in when I started the morning with a dense protein. I hope you have better luck. I am an egg lover!!
Good Luck to you next week. You will come out better for it on the other side. This journey is tough and it requires a lot out of each person who walks it, so rest when you can, keep your strength and your spirits up, and vent like a crazy person...Apparently its all part of the process. I can't wait to hear your success story!
A side note, I have a protein shake instead of an egg because eggs sit very heavy on my stomach and I couldn't get all my fluids in when I started the morning with a dense protein. I hope you have better luck. I am an egg lover!!
Yes, it is really amazing how most of us have the same psychological process going on like we are all wired the same way to react the same way to this journey.. With some variations of course, but if we were to catalogue these crazy feelings I am sure this is someone's PhD thesis writing itself! I really can't wait to be on the other side of surgery because my first goal (there is no ticker for this) is to wake up and be alive. The rest will fall into place. I really want this...its the first time I want it more than I am afraid of it. Good sign...
5ft0; highest weight 222; surgery weight 208; current weight 120
Most Active
Recent Topics
