NSV -- Attitude Change Spreads to Other Things [Long Post]

A few months ago I was remembering a cheat I had in Hawaii--coconut ice cream. It became a craving. I finally gave up and drove through a Braum's and thought I'd get a single scoop (and count it on MFP) but they didn't have anything like that. They had German Choc which had coconut, but that wasn't the same.

And so I drove away without getting anything.

This was a major big effing deal for me, not getting another flavor.

But I crossed a major milestone for me--I'd given myself permission to splurge (and acknowledge it honestly) but if I couldn't have what I craved, I had no desire for a substitute. My sleeve and my loss of true hunger and the habits I'd been building for several months had resulted in me not even WANTING some other ice cream. Couldn't have coconut? Well, in that case, I'd rather go home and get some SF Peach flavored Greek Yogurt. (Which I love.)

I've since gotten SF Coconut Torani.

Later I did find a place that had coconut ice cream and I did get it three different times. But that place is now gone and I'm find without it, and I haven't gone after any other ice cream.

(I have to admit I also learned not to keep ice cream in my freezer because even though it's not usually a trigger for me, after having some for weeks that nobody else had eaten, one day I suddenly found myself eating it. Threw that sucker AWAY.)

So I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm saying that the sleeve and the loss of hunger have allowed me to build new "muscles" -- the kinds of mental muscles that can go, "meh, never mind" in the face of sometthing that would have been a no-brainer, no-thinker, no-guilter prior to the sleeve. "No coconut? Okay, I'll take ____ instead." Because once I gave myself permission to cheat, there was no reason not to.

Except that I didn't want it.

I can't begin to express what a big deal this was and continues to be. Yes, there are times when I do want something and do struggle, but they are not often, and this is because of my sleeve and my own commitment to eating properly 98% of the time. And it works.

But it is spreading to other parts of my life, finally.  When culling out my closet and drawers (again) I started trying on everything I had that I still could wear.  I had seen an article with pictures by somebody who had decided she had to wear everything in her closet last year, at least once, and if she wouldn't wear it for any reason, it had to go out the door.  She was talking about wearing it out the door to work or play.

I just decided I was going to put stuff on in front of the mirror, maybe combine with different pants or shoes. What I discovered when I started doing this was that my closet had stuff that I could wear but that I didn't really like that much. I'd bought it when I was losing and saw a good deal (or maybe just wanted to buy something new) but when I really started looking I thought, this blouse doesn't show my weight loss. It's the kind of blouse I wore to hide my body and it makes me feel like I'm still hiding. That's just one example, but it was my most typical reason for deciding to get rid of something--that I'd bought it in a burst of exurberance when I could wear smaller sizes and the more I looked at it actually on me, the more I realized I didn't want to wear it if I had other things available--and I did have other things available that I liked to wear, once I got the extra stuff out of the way so I could see what I had.

I have a big bag of clothes on its way to charity right now, and a beautiful, organized closet (wow). And a very short list of a few things I'd like to have, when I find exactly what I want, but no desire to take off surfing the net looking for more "stuff" unless it's exactly what I want.

And guess what else. I've decided to wear skirts.  I've lived in jeans for years, but now I have decided that I like myself so much in just-above-the-knee skirts I'm going to wear them more often, even when grocery shopping. (Have my eye on a khaki pencil skirt and will get some espadrilles later this spring.)

To take it one step further, I bought a few closet organizing things, and while I was out I wandered through World Market and Pier One (I love exotic, bohemian stuff) and saw a lot of bargains, deep deep price cuts on cute things that a year ago I would have snatched up and brought home.

And I didn't buy a thing, because nothing was perfect. Nothing filled a need, nothing was exactly what I had been looking for, even a chair I'd had my eye on was on sale but when it came right down to it, I wasn't sure it was what I wanted, after all. (And I guarantee you, a year ago I would have bought it.)

Is this what is called self control? Hello, stranger. Where have you been all my life?

Whatever it is, I love it, and it started with the sleeve and me learning new lessons about eating, and it seems, about life.

Wow, great post~

Thanks!

Congratulations!  That is awesome and inspiring!

Bill

Thank you. Today is a good day and I guess I felt the need to record some of what is working right now!

Great post, great success!! Congrats :)

Thanks!

That is awesome about your new self control and I wanna try yogurt with SF coconut Torani syrup since I have a bottle in my pantry that hasn't been used!!!!

I think peach is still my fave but I do love me some coconut.  I even tried putting real coconut in greek yogurt. Meh.

I don't know how long this state will last but it really does feel like "muscles" strengthening, making it feel more normal to hold out for what I want instead of just nickel-and-diming myself (with food, with "stuff," with clothes).