It's not failure until YOU decide to stop

I have hit a brick wall this past month and I am posting as a confession and for accountability to myself. I made the very dangerous and stupid decision to indulge in a chocolate mint covered bag of pretzels over new years. Salty, sweet, and minty was my undoing. I found myself nightly searching my home for something that fit any of those 3 categories to munch on. I was well aware I wasn't hungry and I went to bed frustrated most nights because those things are no longer in my house. While on a shopping trip last week, I came across pretzel M&M's. Yep, I bought them. Yep, I ate them. Yep, my cravings increased to an alarming level.

I haven't lost in the last month, but I have still been shrinking so I'm not seeing excessively negative physical effects, but the psychological is bothering me. Why did I ever pick up the damn bag of pretzels?? Why did that drive me into craving every single night? Why did I give in again when I clearly had the choice to walk away from them? I don't have answers other than I'm human, I can be stupid, and, I don't really know.

But here is what I do know: today is a new day, and today I can choose to push through the craving with a planned activity(yes, I already have my time micro managed this evening). I will have my meal(dense protein as always) one hour later than usual so I will feel too full to consider anything else unless I want a trip to the potty room. I will amp up my exercise routine to get my number on the scale to continue moving in the right direction.

I am still amazed at being a "bony" size 8 chick (except the gut) and still overweight. My 8's are getting a bit loose and I am so looking forward to a size 6, but mint chocolate covered pretzels or anything with ANY of those three words in there will only serve to delay my success.

I am an overachieving, type A perfectionist, so I hope you all realize how much it is KILLING me to admit my humanity and imperfection. I never expected to be 100% successful at this every day(of course I did! I'm a perfectionist!), but I'm truly stumped by why and how I even let this happen. I know we have all done it,  and I know that recognizing it and making a legitimate plan to change my habit/routine/environment is the key to removing the craving and getting "back on track".

I am being a big girl and admitting my setback...it isn't failure because I haven't stopped and I'm not giving up!

Great Post! Everyone is human, but your determination defines you and your success will be your reward!

Best of luck as you make it to your "finish line"!

Good for you! It is hard to get back on track once those damn carbs have crept in again. Not terribly hard, but hard enough because of our rationalizing and so on.
You have set your plan & you will succeed.

Good for you!!  And thanks for sharing..... Learning how to cope with out "humanity" is a large part of why we're all here!!  Good Luck, Jennifer!!

 

"It's not done till the fat lady sings"

Not sure if that was appropriate ????

frisco.....hah !

Oh my!! That was so tacky...which, of course, is why I laughed until I sho****er out my nose!! ;) Laughing through this process has been the best medicine.

Your post was really helpful. Thanks for helping me remember what I need to remember.  It's always amazed me how a few spur of the moment bad choices have put me in a collision course in the past.  I think us Type A'sfind it even harder to get back on the wagon after - I'm really trying to work on that part of myself and to learn to be gentler, but slips are incredibly dangerous for me. 

And should have added that you are definitely still in charge!  You are not a failure and this is still within your control. Sending you luck and hugs.  

You've got it Jennifer! You can do this!

Hang in there!  You can do it!  The cravings will pass if we don't act on them.  White knuckle your way through.  It will be easier the longer you get away from it.  From a fellow salty-sweet addict.