Are you afraid to set your goal at a normal BMI?

I know exactly what you are saying.  I am 169 today, I keep tellin myself I would be happy at 150, but my surgeon says 140  Its almost like it is too good to be possible.  Last time I was that weight I was 24,  I am 55 now.  It is s process.  I am thinking about getting to 150 and seeing how I feel.   I wish people would quit telling me "now you don't want to get too low"  my ticker still says 140 as my goal.  It is scary though.

Anne

Your post is food for thought (excuse the pun).....I have a higher 'temporary' goal...thought I would see how it felt there, and then choose another, lower goal...I have always been fat, so do not know what 'normal' feels like...well, fat is normal to me.  I guess I don't mind being fat, just don't want to be as fat as I am/was.  I have never in my life desired to be thin...I don't even know how to picture it in my head.

You have a good point...and perhaps I am being 'lazy'...having failed at diets my entire life, I may not be setting the bar (the scale) in the proper place.

thank you

Sophie

Hmmm.... not sure if what I experienced is common or not- BUT once I hit my goal it was like a light switch was flipped and losing more would be very difficult.  There is just something about being very content where I am that doesn't't make further loss something I want to focus on any longer.  I am at the top of the weight range for me... most days sitting at 23.5.  In theory it would be no big deal to drop a little more, but I have some other health issues so I want the little extra I have going on to help with future procedures and recovery.  So, be careful- once you hit that psuedo goal it may get harder to reach your real goal just because of the mindset of "reaching goal" may set in.  

I float around 24-25 BMI, which is the high end. I was 60+ when I started this whole thing. It is a fear. I see that number float around and I struggle with wrapping my head around normal. My fat was a protective layer that shielded me from the world. There are days, as ****** up as this is going to sound, that I miss that. I feel laid bare sometimes, ya know?

(yes, I'm in therapy LOL)

The fear of failure is a HUGE issue.

I can totally relate Candy.  Just think of how many you have inspired though by your perseverance and tackling that normal bmi goal!

I had my goal set at 150 or on the high end of a normal BMI.  BUT at my 6 month appt, my surgeon's NP thinks it will be too thin for me and I should shoot for 170 and re-evaluate when I get there.  It was disappointing to hear but at the same time they don't want me to look sickly.  So it's up in the air for me at the moment.  I just want to be healthy and look as good as I feel :)

Do they recommend we set several goals and then reward ourselves?  Say when I lose 10 pounds I will get a manicure.  At 20 I will buy a new dress and so on.  I have done every diet known to man and looking at the 80-90 pounds I have to lose I have a hard time grasping that goal weight.  What charts tell me I should way is not at my thinnest I could way since I am big bone and my legs are all muscle.  This is one issue that concerns me.  I put a number but I think I need to look at little goals and then figure out my body since I am older know to determine my BMI.

Yup, I am totally terrified of it!!

See, originally I thought 130 was a totally do-able goal for me.  But then, after the body comp analysis, I started doing math and trying to figure out how I could maintain muscle mass, have a normal bmi, and not have a dangerously low body fat percentage.  I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how that is possible.  Maybe I'll lose some muscle, but in the first 6 months I gained muscle, so it seems unlikely to me now (assuming I keep working out, of course).

Not at all.  Mid-normal BMI is my goal.  In fact it has always been my goal.  It has just been pretty elusive my whole life, but that has never made me feel like a failure or feel guilty.  I know how hard I have always had to work to loose and maintain my weight.  I celebrate every pound I loose.  However, I think it is important not to fantasize about that normal BMI weight person and think about all the things you will do, and wear, and accomplish and how good you will feel once you are a certain weight.  Continue to live in the hear and now whatever weight you are.  Don't wait for your life to begin.