Work NSV and how I think it relates to my sleeve

So, I have had a huge week at work. I work for a national consulting firm. At the beginning of this week I got confirmation that an anticipated title promotion is coming through effective 1/1. Then, yesterday, I got called into my general manager's office and was offered partnership in the firm. Unlike some firms like legal and accounting, the partnership status is not connected to the organizational structure, but it's every bit as big of a deal in terms of profit sharing and voting capabilities. It is HIGHLY selective and a tremendous honor to be chosen. Very different than an employee stock option plan. I spent a few hours shaking after that meeting and have been on the verge of tears periodically since then.

So here is where my VSG thinking comes in.

I was told that the partnership thing was offered because of high performance + high potential. I interpret this to mean that they believe in me, and, reality suggests they didn't JUST start believing in me on 6/12/13, the date of my surgery. Indeed, I had told them before my surgery that I expected the promotion to come around by 1/1/14 or perhaps it was time for me to move on. BUT...the comments because of the change in my appearance have been off the chain lately. I figured this would happen, and part of the reason I got involved with my therapist was to manage my reaction to this. I figured that the shallow response was pretty, thin girl = successful girl and I had to be ok with that.

I received some feedback over the past couple of weeks from various (male) colleagues about my change in appearance and how it has helped me to be perceived as more capable. Neither know about the surgery. They each threw in a ringer, though, that I was totally not expecting. What they described was what my husband refers to as "swagger", something he has seen a specific change in as I have lost weight. One colleague summarized that my entire energy/vibe has changed and went on to articulate that I walk in the door with my chin up, smiling and talking to everyone. He surmised that I must be feeling great about myself and attributed it to my careful attention to diet (eating cleanly) and exercise. The second one has gone on to guess what is "different" about me in addition to the obvious weight loss: hairstyle? New makeup? Something that he can't quite put his finger on...I just smile my best enigmatic smile and thank him for noticing.

My big aha here is that yes, I have been perceived differently post op than pre op, but that it is not their doing, it is MY OWN. The reality is that my colleagues have sat up and taken notice that I have put myself first, and have given priority to my health and my own wellbeing, and have reaped the rewards. They are impressed as hell when I tell them I have committed to a year (yes, a YEAR!) with my trainer. They are amazed that I am working with an image consultant and ask me for tips/info. That I would take the time and expense and trouble to focus on myself seems foreign to them, and it's that reaction that truly keeps me going: "Wow, you care about yourself that much to do that? How awesome!"

Indeed, my personal brand has changed, but I have realized for the first time that it is of my own doing. Truly. My colleagues (male and female) have responded positively to my changes that I have worked HARD to enact. I was worried that they would assume what I thought would be a typical shallow approach that thin people rule the world, but what I came to realize is that I am optimizing the potential of the person locked away for all that time. In the end, it is all about me and how I do this.

I think this is a big thing and will discuss with my therapist on our next appointment, but I wanted to put this out there for others to consider and comment on. Anybody else had a similar wakeup call?

Laurie

Great post Laurie, but can we go back to the part of being offered Partner?  You got offered Partner!  Doing the happy dance for you!  

Fantastic post. Thank you so much for sharing your insight. Congrats on the promotion! 

Your insight is inspirational! 

Great post!  Some resonates with me - I'm CEO of a small consulting company, and I can perceive differences in interactions that can't be put on weight alone.  Of course there are lots of differences between how men and women are perceived, but at the base of it, I think a couple of things:

1. People that are seen as taking charge of something (like a weight problem) get some credibility in the consulting world

2. consulting is all about building credibility and first impressions are important

3. many things we describe as good looking/beautiful are rooted in indicators of health (weight, smooth skin, etc...) so i prefer to think that we're perceived a bit more deeply as "healthy" and "energetic" rather than just "thin."  

I haven't spent too much time thinking about it, but it's definitely there, and I'll take any help I can get in the business world, shallow or not :)

Tom

Oh, and of course CONGRATULATIONS!

That's fantastic about your promotion!  Congratulations.

I also wanted to say that I am really impressed with how proactively you have approached your mental health aftercare.  I would have never thought to meet with an image consultant post-op but it is something I give more thought to as I close in on my goal.