OT: 2nd funniest review EVER- Pringles

I am laughing so hard it is difficult to manage my snot right now!  I started a different thread about a consumer review on Amazon for sugar free gummi bears.  Funny, funny ****!  Another poster put a link for a Pringles review with Olean- funny, funny **** take 2!!  Here it is for your laughing pleasure.

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DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

  Don't even ******g say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat. 

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the ****  

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont ******g tell you... 

Except in tiny print you cant read without a ******g electron microscope 

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease." 

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. 

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. 

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes ****ting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the **** ! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? 

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You ******g Pringle *******s. 

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. 

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole ******g roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So. 

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. 

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so ******g foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. 

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. 

You ******g Pringle *******s. 

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the ******g grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that **** again. 

******g Pringle *******s. 

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real **** Pringles. 

• this is in or around ANAL LEAKAGE, ANYBODY?
• no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 182862349"

 

 

The same thing happens when you take Alli. Yes it removes the fat from your body, but it comes out as oily residue from your butt. Never ever take Alli and eat fried foods because you can't get the oily residue off of your underwear. You just as soon throw the underwear in the trash. Lesson Learned.

Hahahah, wow!

Eeewwwwwwwwww.....totally made me cringe. Gross!!!

1) EEEEWWWWW!

2) I actually snorted while reading this!

3) Have you seen these reviews for the Banana Slicer kitchen gadget? CLASSIC. And they go on for OVER 4,000 REVIEWS.

http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EI I

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is too great!!

I work for amazon and we send each other hilarious reviews we find online....I love them and help make my day brighter!

I think we should do a regular thread on this topic for foods that wls patients may be drawn to... help each other to protect our digestive tracks :)

HAHAHHAHAAAA...omg. I almost peed myself LOL  

OH  MY  GOODNESS.......THIS IS ABSOLUTELY  HYSTERICAL!!!