Where Are They Now?

When I started the weight loss process, my program expected a 60% excess weight loss.  My NP said that was the average and some people lost all their EBW and others less.  She said the choice was mine, and that people who weighed and logged their foods and stuck to their exercise plans were the ones who lost best.  At that time, I was so heavy, the thought of losing 60% of the excess was delightful.  When I came to this site, I remember Elena's posts saying that it was possible to lose to goal and maintain the loss.  It took commitment, but not to settle for less. 

So I guess my point is:  if you lose 60% of your EBW, be happy that you are so much healthier.  Its wonderful.  But if you want to exceed this, you can do it.  You've got to stick to your plan, and you've got to be in it for the long haul.  But don't sell yourself short.  Its possible.

Carol

I watching your ticker like a hawk.  I can't wait to read GOAL.  You are so very close now..

Yes Carol, it's all about keeping the commitment level high and keeping the mindset of not settling for anything less. Oh, and just so you know, I'm banking on you taking this all the way!!

Statistically it's not surprising but the reality when it's actual people and not just numbers is a bit more of a shocker.  I think some people just don't know what their goal is going into this surgery.  I choose 160 lbs as my goal (at my first clinic appointment) and now that I am 15 lbs away from there I know that I will probably go lower. I then picked 140 or 150 as my goal when i started to lose.  In reality I don't know where my goal is I could stop right now at 175 lbs and feel completely happy but I couldn't stop my weight loss right now if I tried.

Due to my complications I have not worked at all at losing weight.  My focus has been the opposite and that's in just trying to get food in so I am not starving myself or in the hospital.  I worry that if my issues ever resolve themselves I will be set up for failure because I have not had this time to work on my lifelong habits I need to maintain.  One day the ball will drop and I will be playing catch-up trying to figure out how to maintain and not gain.

Statistics are just an average, they don't tell the story.  We are all human and our idea of success or failure is not the same. And our idea of beauty and health is not the same.  I was looking online at bathing suits last night and realized that I like a curvy body.  It's where I've always been happy and the idea of hip bones or ribs being noticeable is not appealing to me or what I want for myself.

I would hope in the end we measure success on a scale that is made up for ourselves not on one based on others.

Yup it feels a whole lot different when we're talking about people who matter to us. I'm not sure why I felt surprised because the stats are the stats but it is upsetting when I think about them. It's interesting on that even the ones who chose 'higher' goal weights fared no better. 

And I'm glad to hear you recognize that your experience has been unusual in that you've not had an opportunity to engrain the lifelong habits and accompanying mindset that you will need.  They can still be learned, even if it's in maintenance, and I hope you're feeling better soon!

When I was reading your post something hit me which may offer you some long term hope of normalcy.  My husband had an RNY in the fall of 2003.  Thanks to this surgery, when he had losr about 80 lbs he realized he had a problem in his neck.  Who could feel his neck when he was 340lbs?  He had cancer and was 240 when he started treatment.  He had radical neck surgery and 33 visits for radiation.  His weight plummeted to 180. It was scary- normally people with his type of cancer are given feeding tubes but he could not get one since his bypass was so new. As a result of the radiation, he has no salivary glands and eats everything with butter, fat or gravy to get it down.  He must drink all the time, including with meals.

Eleven years forward he is still here with me and weighs about 240 lbs.  He would like to be 220 but I am so grateful to have him.  He is 6'3" so he looks fine at this weight.  I guess my point is that even though his illness was not WLS related, weight can still be lost and gained.  Just hang in there and do your best everyday.  For a long time he could only eat egg drop soup and was so grateful when he could eat meat protein.  He said never to underestimate how much better it makes you feel. So hang in there!

Nancy

Thank you Nancy I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me your story. It is people like your husband that give me hope and remind me that though I'm not 100% it could be so much worse.

God bless you!

My experience was much the same as Carol's.  My nutritionist said that a 60-70% EWL was what they anticipated based on averages and it would be my choice to decide which part of that average I wanted to be.  I want to be 100% EWL.  I know what it will take.  I don't know what the future holds as far as my commitment long term.  Right now,  feel it.  I am working for it.  I'm 100% committed all of the time.  I have not yet strayed off plan in even the tiniest bit.  I'm not allowing myself any wiggle room.  

One of the things I think about as I read food diaries on MFP is what some people think they're doing messing with some of the stuff they mess with very early out.  I had coffee w/ a support group friend last week and she stated that she had eaten a cupcake...the entire cupcake.  She is 6 months out but only halfway to her goal (which would still be pretty overweight, I think, I'm not sure...she did have a lot more to lose than I did).  I wonder if she will make it or if I just can't imagine 6 months out and how much harder it will be to resist the junk I'm committed to not eating right now?  I just don't know these things.  I'm learning every single day.  I learn from reading what people here say.  I learn from reading the food diaries of successful losers.  I learn from going to support groups.  

I also feel insanely judgmental when I read the above paragraph and I hope that everyone knows that it's not my intention to judge but there is real concern over people in this same process as me making choices that, for me, would be exceptionally dangerous.  I hope nothing for the best for everyone pushing through to the other side of this obesity web.

Observations are not necessarily judgmental,  and I think it's important to make them and incorporate what can be learned. I took the good stuff and the successful people and used what seemed to work, while remembering what I thought wouldn't work in the long run. As Frisco would say 'go to school on them/that'.