Goal Weight and the Variables ???

As usual, they are good thoughts.  I love your perspective and your ability to be honest with yourself. 

Don't ever discount the feeling of contentment of getting to a healthier size and being able to stay there!

There's so much focus on getting cosmetically "thin" that we forget that WLS is about being able to get healthier which for many formerly MO or SMO people, means living life significantly less obese, but not always within what's considered normal for someone that's never been MO or SMO.. 

I couldn't agree more !!!!

But the reality is that most don't get to "thin", and that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as a level of contentment and stability is reached.

In your case, you did, you went there and than made adjustments for you.

Just like someone landing at a prescribed weight and than adjusting down (that was me).

And speaking for myself, below 200lbs. was absolutely unknown territory and all about discovery at every level.

Thanks for your perspective.

frisco

Well, hot damn! What a hell of a topic! One, as you know, I struggled with - and in a certain way, still do.

I don't know what to say about my personal goal weight anymore. I have some pretty mixed up feelings around it - which with my regain makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe not to others, but to me it does. So here goes....

According to the BMI charts I am obese. Now logically I know that men who are obese don't fit into 33 inch waist Levi 505s. We also don't fit into medium shirts when we are obese. But still it ****** me off that the charts put me in that category. Even at my lowest weight post VSG I was still in the overweight category and that was a bit of a mind f*ck, too. I knew I wasn't overweight - don't get me wrong, but it was just another one of those things of not "measuring up" in my sicko mind.

Yet at this weight I feel FAT. Not just a little bit fat, but FAT!

Um, and the gay thing... yeah, I get it. Thin is in and so is super fit.

I'm in a mood tonight, too, so that doesn't help, but.... I don't know what the hell I want my goal weight to be anymore. It seems to vary from one day to the next.  Sometimes I think I should just try to get all the way down to a "normal BMI" just to see, but then there are other times I just don't think I have it in me to lose that much weight. There is one weight chart that puts my ideal weight at 135 lbs. Can you see me 15 pounds lighter than you?

Anyhow, right now I have a goal of getting back down to my weight of last summer. (First I have a little mini goal to reach in 3 more pounds.) Then after that I should head for the weight my doc and I settled on and see how that feels.

I personally like being on the thinner side. I feel like I wear clothes better when I'm thinner. Yet, I get told I don't look so great when I'm thin. I never felt I looked too thin, but plenty of others have told me since I've gained weight that they thought I was too thin. I still don't buy it, but whatever.... like you say, it's a personal thing.

What I can safely say is that when I can wear my shark grey Calvin Klein slim fit suit comfortably again is when I KNOW I will be at goal weight. That is probably a much better goal for me than a number goal anyway.

Lord, I can ramble....

If I got a chance to whisper in your ear (and yes, I realize that I am not the target audience, but I can tell when a man looks GOOD), think white pants photo. Whatever you weighed in that photo is pretty fantastic and hot.  Sorry, I don't mean anything inappropriate, but...yeah...sizzle.  And you know I am not one to just tell you something to make it easier on you...so let me repeat...HOT, HOT, HOT.  If you repost that, all the ladies here will spoon (do ladies still do that?).   

I will jump on the inappropriate train and say that I have always thought sizzle too when looking at the White jeans pic!!!!!! 

Am I officially a creeper now?? Haha

Kairk.... you were pretty happy in those white jeans.....

frisco

As an African American female, my goal weight range right now is 160-170. (Surgery weight 263 - Current Weight 228, surgery on Feb. 10, 2014) This is over what the BMI charts say that I should be for being 5'4 (age 38) and this may change. African Americans are generally more accepting of people that are overwight in general because a lot of us are overwight. Plus, in our culture most African American men would say that a woman that is around size 10 or 12 is the perfect size, and to me that is a normal average size and one that I would be happy with. Size 2 or 4 can be looked at as too thin, but this is still based on build.  I dont want to be around a size 10 or 12 because of what our culture says or admires, but I  think it would be a nice weight for me. I have also read scientific articles that said that African Americans are generally heavier than people of European descent and we will never fit in those charts.

A nice weight depends on your build as well. Most of my wieght is in my hips and thighs and I have always had a small waist relative to them. I can wear 2-3 size smaller size in a shirt/blouse than I can in pants/slacks. Being this body type does allow you to have a little more weight and look like you weigh the same or less as a person who carries a lot a weight around the middle, IMHO.

Being healthy and physically fit is more important to me than a size or weight. Plus I agree with one person who said maybe getting down to that chart size may cause unnecessary stress. Our goal of having weight loss surgery was to be healthier and use it as a tool to keep the weight off. I think everyone's body has a 'set point" and getting at or near that point may allow you to maintain that weight a lot less effortlessly. I want to lead a good life, and I know that I have to watch my diet forever as another post says because the weight will creep back on. However, I dont want to constantly be worried over a number and killing myself in the gym or starving to stay at that number.

Thanks for chiming in AL_GA_Girl

I was hoping that more "groups" would participate in discussion.

Your ethnicity rolls heavier and mine rolls lighter in "general" and than you mix ethnicity in with region and it gets twisted again !

frisco