XP: Support group craziness

OMG potluck, I would probably be so bad at that. I really don't cook much so I'd probably end up bringing low carb biscotti & a jar of Chike coffee LOL

Excellent post Tracy....not only yours but the comments following...

Hugs, alese

You and hubs can't go to that group anymore......

Just not a healthy environment .... I've been to those and even spoke at a few.

I get the whole pay it forward give back thing.... But that crap does zero to move you forward.... Just added frustration.

Than again seeing 3 month'ers on here telling people many years out what to do is about the same thing.

frisco

I fear you are right, Frisco :-(   Guessing that when the novelty wears off that we won't be attending.  

I'm on a Facebook private group specifically for sleevers sleeved in March of this year.  There are many, many complaints on there of stalls and frustration.  But, I too, see these posts of people saying they were so proud of themselves because they only ate a 6 in. sub at Subway instead of a 12 in one!  How are subs of any length following the guidelines we were given?  Loads of people eating gourmet salads with virtually no protein in them.  I'm nearing 5 months out and still not eating any salads because I am totally full after eating my 2 oz of dense protein in a meal.  They also use a lot of Flat Out breads and yes, they do contain a good bit of protein, but again, if I eat them with a "real" protein of fish or meat, it cuts back on how much I can eat of that.  I keep my mouth shut because I know I'd only be preaching to the choir and they would find it very unsupportive.   I often start thinking I'm the one who's not eating right.  I don't like going to restaurants with friends because it's such a waste of time finishing my 2 oz in 15 minutes and then spending an hour watching the others eat.  

I have not had surgery yet, still really considering the changes, commitment, etc. That said, I am walking through the process, pre-op diet, program as if I was. I have been to my surgeon's support group twice and both times have been vastly different from what you describe. There are a variety of people there at varying levels, places along the journey and, for the most part, it is a very enriching, encouraging experience. People are able to be honest with their struggles and questions and get good solid answers/advice. And there are a number of stellar successes that seem very committed to the group. I guess I'm finding myself very thankful for the nature of this group. 

That said, I am even more thankful to have found this board-I learn something every time I visit and and encouraged and in awe of the success stories shared. 

My surgeon's group has paid facilitators including a psychologist who has had RNY herself.  Only patients from our center are allowed to attend support meetings (although they can bring a person who is part of their support network). 

An experiment in opening up the group to other surgeon's patients caused problems with people arguing that they had different rules and guidelines.  So the group is now closed.

It would be very frustrating to attend the meetings that you describe.  We have clearly defined rules, vitamin and protein regimens based on ASMBS guidelines.  Our surgeons and staff are active in research and stay up to date on trends.  The foods you describe would never be tolerated at our group.

You are doing a service by being sterling examples of how to do this.  I would not hesitate to let your surgeon know what is going on at the meetings.  Our surgeons often attend our groups and present at the meetings.

You are blessed!  I would enjoy a meeting like you describe :-) 

You know, now that I'm sleeved I make my version of Cracker Barrel's Double Fudge Coca Cola Cake with Diet Coke. Are you telling me that's not right?

Seriously, I get what you're saying. I am by no means a perfect eater and I have had my share of struggles, but I am by no means clueless. I know exactly what I'm eating when I'm eating it and how it's going to influence my weight.

This guy "Frank" is a great example of very average thinking about what is healthy eating. I worked with a very bright man once. He led a group of 200+ employees and his motto was that people need to hear the same piece of information at least 10 times for it to truly sink in. I think numerous people just gloss over the "rules" when they have VSG and decide they will eat just smaller portions and that will be that. They don't want to think about food differently. And when you consider most doctors, diet programs, etc... still espouse a "balanced" approach to eating in a healthy way, it's no wonder Frank thinks he's doing a bang up job and is confused about why he's not losing weight.

Just my two cents.

You're right, Devon!  The the other thing Frank told me is that his A1c has climbed back up to 7.9 (he was taken off all diabetes meds after surgery) but his wife "doesn't want him to go back on the meds".  I wanted to launch into how he's doing serious damage to his veins and arteries and that he either needs to get off the carbs or get back on the meds (and there's no shame in that when we're talking about needing it for your health)....but it wasn't the time or place since we were in a bigger group.