Compliments - giving and receiving

So here's a weird quirk that I've noticed about myself recently.  I have a history of being pretty oblivious toward people (yeah, I'm a great person) and I'm starting to think that it might have been because I wanted people to be oblivious toward me?  

But now that I'm more comfortable with myself and my body, I'm so much happier to get compliments and comments from people.  And, I think related to this, I'm starting to notice other people a lot more and give them compliments and comments.  I actually tell people, "hey, you're looking great" or "I really like those tights" and I'm even noticing when people I see frequently have gotten hair cuts.  I never noticed these things about people before.  

Have you had a similar experience?  I figure I'll talk about this with my therapist on Thursday since it seems like an interesting change to me!

Nice. Maybe it's because you're feeling great and sharing the love.

Pre-surgery I'd been dreading when people might compliment me about changes in my weight and how attractive I look or something. That's one of the things I talk about in my therapy sessions, how to accept compliments.   

Right now I am noticing other people more, sort of like gauging whether I want to borrow from their style of clothing, or how their features are framed by their hair.  It has started to matter.

I definitely still feel like I fail at accepting compliments gracefully which is something I've also been working on in therapy :/  I'm better now than I was a year ago, but compliments still don't make me feel good, if you know what I mean.  I respond to them the way I know I'm supposed to, not the way I feel.  

I think that's why I notice people more too, or part of it at least.  I feel like I can actually get ideas from other people now on how I want to look! :)

Exactly!

My therapist suggested if I get a compliment I just say "Thank you for noticing."  That seems so simple.  Then I'm off the hook.  lol

My problem is saying the words without rolling my eyes to go along with them ;)

I am okay with accepting compliments about some things and being graceful about it, but only if I think the same myself. So if I've just had my hair done and someone says "wow, I love your new hair!" I'd be fine with smiling and saying "Thanks!!!"

But if I don't agree with them I'll be more likely to deny it or check it out like the other day someone said "oooh I love those jeans they're like boyfriend jeans" and I was like "You reckon? I think they make me look fatter than I am though, and they're not as fitted around the ankle as I'd like"

Then I've heard a few times "you've lost a lot of weight!" and I'm not really picking up on that as a compliment, more of a statement, so I just say "Yeah, I've been slimming for a while now" and leave it at that. I mainly feel embarrassed when people bring up my weight so I get a bit awkward about it.

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight i was surprised at my emotions when being complimented.  I was angry...especially when men opened doors for me.  All I could think of was...."you wouldn't have done that 60 pounds ago." I'm trying to develop a better attitude about it...how could they know my past...right? Lol.  I've not had my surgery yet but when I do start losing and cease to be invisible...I will be practicing graciousness and thankful humility.  It may not come very easily...lol.

This is interesting I have noticed this change in myself too!  For me, I'm ok getting compliments.  Where I have noticed a change is giving them.  My husband commented to me that I am a lot nicer now than pre op.  I got mad at first but after some thought I realized he was right.  I believe deep down, as hard as this is to admit, that I'm ok with giving the compliments to others now because I'm no longer envious of them.  Before when I was 270lbs, I didn't want to tell someone they looked nice or I liked their outfit because I was so pissed off that it wasn't me that looked nice in a stylish outfit.  I held a lot of anger about my size.  I am now 170lbs and can dress the way I want and I feel so good and healthy that I like to see others feeling the same way.  I think my size made me a very angry person and that has been released.  One of the best gifts I've given myself for sure!

I appreciate your comment since it got me thinking - I wonder if part of the reason I give more compliments now is that I didn't want to risk someone giving me a reciprocal compliment?  Because I knew that any compliment a person gave me would be a lie... now I feel like I'm actually worthy of compliments!