scared and depressed

Hey guys its me kristin as some know im having my surgery on july 11th...well i think my life is just going into a downward spiral..me and my boyfriend broke up. and now im just very very freightened about what will happen with the surgery..can anyone realte to this situation break ups...did it get better for you after surgery socialy..i mean this guy had me leave alot of my friend behind only 4 years later to find a girl "skinnier" than me...i dont know what im going to do..i really needed that support..i guess i just need some encouragment..i really dont want to go into surgery being stressed and depressed like this you know...sorry i just needed somewhere to vent

I know this is easier said than done, but forget about him. You need to focus on you. I have abandoned many people this year because I decided that this is the year I need to focus on my self and my health. I went and got a part time job and kept the friend that I knew would be their for me. I am sure he meant alot to you but you are not going to have the power to worry about all that prior and shortly after your surgery. I am sure after the surgery you will be more full of energy and before you know it back on the dating scene, and just wait for the day you run in to him and you are the "skinnier one". We will see who's loss it really is. Hope you feel better keep me posted

Hi Kristin, I know things may look pretty grim right now, but to be cliche, it's always darkest before dawn... Your life will be so much brighter after surgery. I don't know how much weight you have to loose or what you are currently expericing physically, but I can tell you what has happened to me.  Since surgery I can walk, climb stairs and run without pain. I can cross my legs without looking silly about it. I can shop in regular stores. I feel better when I wake up. I take better care of my self as a result and other people notice that. Even though I am married and happily so, guys are constantly noticing me. People are nicer to me in general. I AM NICER TO ME. Keep your head up. This surgery is a new chapter in your life and it is only a matter of time before you will be glad to be rid of this guy and he will be knocking on your door. Hopefully you will not give him the time of day with your new body and not let him into your new life.  This may seem like an end, but it is also a wonderful begining! Hugs, Krista

Kristin, Heart brake is one of the hardest things us girls get to go through. We all go through it. The timing sure isn't good for you though. I am so sorry to hear that. Babe you diserve better then him it sounds anyways.   The socail seen after surgey gets a lot better! You will have guys flocking over you. Hehe!! I don't have much advice but I can pray for you.  Is that ok?  You'll be in my thoughts!

thanks so much you guys, yeah he is such a loser..but like the saying goes misery enjoys company..i have to say your comments are really helping though, i hope i will be strong enough when i am more physically appealing to just say no to him...and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts it makes me very happy to be thought of, i know things happen for a reason, i guess i just wi**** were easier you know, but ill get through it and i know this surgery is going to be a very pro active thing in my life..and thats a very good idea to have a "me" year..oh and my current weight is 270 and im 5'4

Someone once gave me a great piece of advice that I think relates to this situation here. When you feel down, like things are out of control and the hole keeps getting deeper and deeper and that momentum alone created from that downward spiral is enough to just make you want to lose it - stop digging.  Stop from going any deeper, stop the bleeding, however you want to put. it. I think you have taken that step already. You have taken a stand and you are climbing out, you have left him behind, and seeking out new friends for support and you can COUNT on finding tons of support here, because we have all been there or ARE there.  In a few weeks you will be taking another huge step to climb out of that hole. Right now you ARE moving in the RIGHT direction. Things are looking up and you're in the process NOW of trading your sorrows for the joy of - well, whatever it is you find your joy in...You are finding your strength and you are going to need it, so use these moments of strength to make some great plans for yourself to ensure your happiness and success going forward. Wishing you all the best over the next few days and weeks, Mike 

Im so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, especially just before something major like this. The thing I learned is that everything gets better with time. Sure you can sit here and say he's a loser, but you know you still love him even if he is or isnt- which he probably is!  I went through a bad break up to right before I really stated pursuing this, and people told me he was a loser and it still didnt help. What helped is that I put a lot of my focus into this surgery and before I knew it, it was 6 months later. Im only 14 days post op, but can already taste what lies ahead...and its not him! Can you believe the jerk texted me the day before surgery saying "dont forget about the promise we made before you hated me...i get to ride the new body after, you know, a test drive" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Are you kidding me! In your freakin dreams baby! You and I are going to me so super fabulous that these *****s are going to cry themselves to sleep everynight. That in itself makes me happier :)   Who knows, someone else could pop into our lives any minute! GOOD LUCK....You are going to be great!

Hey Kristin - I am sending hugs your way.  I hope you are feeling better by now, but just in case you're not and even if you are - you are about to start on a crazy (awesome, but crazy) road to a new life.  You are going to have surgery in 6 days (WOOO HOOO only 6 more days! ) and your health is going to improve, your body image will improve, your activity level and energy level are going to improve - IT ONLY GETS BETTER FROM HERE.  Think of this as a turning point, you are leaving the old bad things behind and only moving forward with what is good in your life.  Socially the change in my life is almost unrecognizable since my surgery.  I have confidence and I don't feel like I have to break through the barrier anymore - you know, how it seems all anyone can see is the weight so you have to work double hard to make them like you - you are going to be free of that darlin'. If you are still feeling out of control and hopeless I highly suggest finding a counselor to help you.  Find one that is familar with WLS or even addictions and see if that can't help.  I had an awesome psychologist I met with pre-op to get ready for surgery and what I learned from him was invaluable.  I am just starting up again with a new counselor post-op so the transformation will be complete.  WLS doesn't solve all problems, but it sure can help.   You are not alone and you are not hopeless - you have a world of opportunities and time before you.  I wish you happiness and you are in my prayers for your July 11th surgery!

thanks for that yeah i just met my soon to be councelor the other day shes great..since this post i really have been feeling much better,and yeah i cant believe my surgery is3 days away!!!! it really hasnt hit me yet i dont think it will until im getting ready that morning haha but yeah thanks so much for all your encouragment its helped me out alot..-kristin