Is wrong not to tell him?

Hi, everyone just a quick question

 

Is it wrong not to tell your significant other that you had RNY? I’ve started seeing this guy who lives out of state and I won’t be able to see him until June, my anticipated surgery is late January to early February.  He’s seen me as I am now, but I’ve told him that I’m trying to loose weight. I just don’t know how comfortable I am telling him right so early in our “relationship” about my surgery. Is this wrong?

It depends...how serious are you about this guy / how long have you been with him?  RNY is going to mean BIG changes and I think you'll be surprised at how much of your life revolves around your surgery in the beginning especially.  If you anticipate being with this guy for any length of time I don't see how you can avoid telling him and expect to maintain a relationship.  That doesn't mean you need to go out this minute and tell him, but when you get a definate date for surgery and you feel like you want the relationship to continue I would definately set aside time to let him know what is going on.  Besides, who wants to be with someone who can't support you in this life-improving, positive change you are going to make in your life?  I hope, that if you tell him, you are pleasantly surprised at his postive/supportive reaction.

I agree with Amy...it's all about how serious you are about the relationship and if they will support you with the surgery.  My significant other is very supportive of me with it, I told him about it and although he doesn't have a problem with the way I look now, he knows I'm doing this for my health and self-esteem and is being very supportive of me with it.  But before I told him, I was concerned about how he would react....so it was comforting to tell him and see that he does support me with it.

I hope it all works out for you!  :)

 Thomas

Since you have already started a relationship with this person I feel that you should tell them about your surgery... especially if you want to continue to have a relationship with them. How would you feel if he had some sort of surgery that was so life changing as this and didnt tell you? If anything you will need his support during the time post-op... you will also need his understanding and patience with you as you go thru such a major life change... basically its really not something you can hide (or should hide) from people you care about and who care about you. :-)