Dating Dillemma

Ok here is the thing, I am having a hard time with the dating situation.  First of all there has been someone in my life that I have cared about for the past five years.  We used to be involved, but then we quit talking for a couple of years.  Well, we recently started talking again, and he does not know how much weight I gained before I had the surgery.  Those two years is when my weight peaked, well now he cant really tell that I am losing weight now.  The problem is that I am on the defense.  I am scared that maybe when I do lose more weight then he will be interested in me, and I dont want to be with someone who only wants the pyhsical appearance.  I have been thinking alot about that recently.  I wish that they would make a dating website for gastric and lap band people.  It would be so much easier to be with someone that understands how I feel.  I am just confused, and I am trying to get my feelings straightened out, but I know that I have posted the same type of problem before.  WLS is alot more than losing weight, it has made me change my whole view on life.... And I thought I had everything straightened out before the surgery (ha ha)

I am scared that maybe when I do lose more weight then he will be interested in me, and I dont want to be with someone who only wants the pyhsical appearance.  Being attracted to somebody physically will only take a relationship so far... there has to be more for there to really be a realtionship. IMO if there is only phsyical attraction that typically leads to a bedroom only type thing and nothing else. Dont get me wrong thou, there will be people who only go after the physical once you lose weight, but IMO you can sniff them out pretty easily. You have history with this guy so if he starts showing interest again and you are interested, then take it slow. If hes in it for the physical he will bail if you keep things moving at a slow pace and not jump in the sack :-) When you lose weight more than just your physical appearance changes. You may not become completely different but you will change. For some, like myself, it was small changes here and there that overall made me a new and improved version of my previous self. I am more outgoing, more confident, more fun, more assertive... I am no longer a wall flower, a doormat or a 'yes' girl. When I was overweight I put off a 'leave me alone vibe'... I rejected others before they could reject me. I made sure I was forgettable and blended into a room instead of stuck out. I didnt want to be noticed. As I lost weight and that started to change I started to attract more people - not just in a romantic way but even friends. I was open to try new things and have new experiences so that allowed me to branch out and put myself out there.  I had too wished there was a website for gastic/lapband people... that was while I was losing weight. Once I got closer to goal I was perfectly happy dating in the 'real world'... I hit a point where I felt I looked normal and could function normal... I ate normal so a date wouldnt question my eating or anything... anyways us WLS people are crazy! I cant imagine dating another person like me... besides who would eat all my leftovers? ;-)

Girl, tell me about it.  Its sad that physical attraction is so important in relationships... but its understandable. I think the fact this guy is talking with you again shows he's interested... even as just friends.  My philosophy- better have someone awesome in my life as a friend that not at all, right?  The losing of weight also won't just enhance your physical beauty, but your inner will start to bloom!  Its crazy how confident and happy you'll become... you'll just GLOW! A WLS Dating Site/Group would be awesome!  I think there is one on OH, but when I've visited, there hasn't been much action.  Our surgery fixes us physically... gets us on the track to health, but it doesn't help our brain.  I truly wish I started to see someone professionall when I first started.  There has been so much I've dealt with on my own that I think someone with a degree could have helped me with.  Thank God for Myspace Blogging!  :) All in all, sweetie... you're going to be fine.  Ya, there are jerks out there who are only interested in gettin' in my pants... but its easy to weed those out.  We have to kiss alot of toads (believe me, we do) but our Prince is out there somewhere!  Gotta keep the faith, he he.