Confessions of a food addict... someone please help me then kick my @$$

I think I maybe... NO.... I know I’ve been falling into the same types of habits I had before surgery    I eat when I’m not hungry, I snack all the time so I can’t get my water in. I think about food all the time just like before my bypass. I feel like I’m a alcoholic that is telling myself it’s ok to have a beer, its ok to have a shoot, and I find way to justify it.. I can’t control it! I just don’t know what to do  I don’t want to be one of those people that never get to there goal and gain all the weigh back but honestly I feel like it's going to happen if I cant stop this. Do you guys think about food all the time and just fight the urge to eat? How do you talk your self out of eating? What make you guys able to push the plate away when you full? Any tips/suggestion would be great        

I think I'll always be an addict...just hopefully in recovery. I think any addict will always have the urge for thier substance of choice to varying degrees throughout thier life. You've really got to disect your daily routine and make changes accordingly. When do I snack? What triggers it? For me it's hormones ( week before TOM) and boredom and lack of planning. My BAD time of day is the 3-5pm slot. What I do is eat a small meal at that time. I allow myself treats ( like cadbury cream eggs) on the condition that I burn it off with exercise. This is the trick that has worked for me lately. It's so hard I know...and I don't have any simple solutions. : (     Linsey

Thanks for the help Linsey I know it's normal, but I feel like I really have no control and that really scares me. I cant weigh 315 again... i just cant I’d rather die. I know that sounds bad but it's true.  I just wish I knew what to do. How to stop. Why I eat like this. Why I want to do this to myself I've tried writing everything down. I've tried like punishing myself for eating. I've tried looking in the mirror and telling myself I don’t want to look like this. Nothing works for me                                                  

I'm going to pm you...

Do you guys think about food all the time and just fight the urge to eat? I think about food often mostly because I am careful to plan my meals so that I allow time for water, once its planned and the calories are accounted for its all you get, also if I find myself getting a 'munchies' feeling at 3pm and dinners not till 5, I just get some more water or take a look at what I am planning for dinner and then 'look forward' to what I am having for dinner How do you talk your self out of eating? I talk myself out of eating, because usually I am not extra hungry, but when I do get hungry especially for something specific, I plan it into my day in a way that is appropriate. What make you guys able to push the plate away when you full? Personally for me I never put more on my plate than I should be able to eat.  Measuring out everything and knowing the size of mr pouchie has helped me to be sure that I am not over eating or under eating.  I also get really sick if mr pouchie is too full, he isnt a fan of having too much food in him. Any tips/suggestion would be great Plan your water just like it is a meal, that will help you get your water in, that is what I have had to go to.  I plan 3 meals and 2 snacks during the day, always high protein snacks so they are worth eating.  I think that knowing that you are going down the wrong road and taking steps to correct it is a good step, and you can go in the right direction you just need to build your surroundings in a way that will help you accomplish your goals. I hope that anything in here is helpful to you.  I can understand your struggles.  I wish you the best, if you want to chat pm me. 

Hi Amanda, I never thought of planning my water like it was a meal to make sure i get it all in. I never thought of planning my meals a day or 2 ahead.... that might really help. If i have a craving for something i will try to work it in the next day. I could also make sure i don’t go over a cretin amount of calories. That still wont stop me from wanting stuff tho... i just want to stop this I keep asking myself why am i doing this... sometimes i over fill my pouch and feel sick, sometimes i'll feel like i failed. If this hurts me so much why do i do it? There has to be a under lying issue right?  thanks for your suggestions, i'll give em a try                                             

There might be another issue, personally my surgeon required a year of post surgery therapy, and I have found that helps a lot too.

Mine doesnt... maybe i should give that a thought... i just feel crazy ya know? i dont want them to think they made a mistake by giving me the bypass. I'm so scared to fail at anything. Its like i'd rather not even try then to fail.

My suggestion to you is to figure out what you are using the food for. Seems you are turning to food to 'fix' what is wrong on the inside. I was the same way pre-op... I spent a good 2 years before surgery going to therapy, reading books, learning about myself and my addiction. I first had to learn about my relationship with food then I was able to work on changing it. You can pick up books about food addiction, about how to develop new habits - they will help. You have to give yourself other things to turn to besides food... and thats not easy to do unless you have help in figuring out what else to do besides eat.  I was an emotional eater, I also ate when bored. I find that when the pressure is too much I want to turn to food, I have before in the past since surgery and it just doesnt do the same for me as it did pre-op... so now I can talk myself out of it because I know it wont make me feel better. As for eating when bored... I just have to find something to keep me busy for a few minutes... take a short walk, read a little, make a phone call... just anything. A lot of times I find I am really thirsty instead of hungry so drinking the water always helps. I am much better with the emotional eating now, the bored eating is a struggle... as I am sure it always will be. Its easy to reach for food. Hopefully that will help you some. As for your questions... Do you guys think about food all the time and just fight the urge to eat? Not anymore, I use to pre-op How do you talk your self out of eating? See above What make you guys able to push the plate away when you full? I try and only put as much on my plate as I know I need to eat - measure if necessary. Usually by the time I am done I am full, if I need more then I have to get up and get it. If its not on my plate I wont be tempted to eat it. When I go to resturants I usually get a to-go box pretty quick.... or I cut and portion out what I will eat and take home later making a mental note.

Can you recommend any good books? I feel like a fool... this should be easy right? Its like why me? Why cant i just STOP?!?! It shouldn’t be this hard. Im my head its so simple- PUT THE FOOD DOWN A ND BACK AWAY! and sometimes i can put it down.. And I feel so good after, like i did something really hard and im so happy. I have thought about why i eat... sometimes i'm bored, sometimes I’m sad/happy/upset.. Like i understand its a emotional connection... but then other times it's like i just need it, and i cant stop thinking about it till i have it (and that scares me more then anything) maybe its something that’s deep inside me, something i don’t want to deal with... but i really try to think about why i do what i do.. and i cant find anything.   I'm going to try the measuring thing (i never measure anything) and I’m going to buy some smaller plates.. Maybe that will help. I'll do anything to stop. I have never wanted something so much in my life.