Tuesday, August 19, 2025

In Worcester this morning, then Saratoga Springs tomorrow morning. I think I brought one day's fewer tops than I should have. Whoops! I guess either yesterday's sweater or today's will have to be reused on Thursday. I did pack enough undies thank goodness.

Yesterday was a really quick turnaround on the Cape. Though Justice was glad to see me when I walked in, he ended up sitting in DSD's lap while I was getting ready to leave again. We were there for 2 hours, then left for lunch with my 2 SILs. Funny seeing Justice with Brandy the bernadoodle. One would bark, then the other join in. Then they would run together to the couch, both stand on it looking out the window with their heads swiveling in unison back and forth. I wish I had taken a video!

During the day, I returned the three calls from the same old friend during a spare 1/2 hour. He was originally a friend from high school of deceased DH. Very sweet guy but his life has not gone well over the years. He has terrible health, at least partially due to excess weight. He had both knees replaced, but one went septic so he can barely walk. He has to use a walker and a scooter in the food store which is the only place he goes to other than the doctors. Top the poor health off with a life of depression and a lot of loneliness (he says everyone has either moved away or died) and it makes for a difficult conversation. I feel guilty not calling more often, but it is always a very difficult, very long conversation punctuated with bouts of his crying. So hard and I feel so bad about his life and my inability to be more supportive than a call now and then.

We may go to breakfast at a local diner, then will pick up DD around 11 for our drive to New York. We stop along the way in the town DH lived in for about 20 years at a deli to get lunch and sandwiches for the track tomorrow. Dinner at a bistro in downtown Saratoga Springs. An established routine from the last few years which it is fun to share with DD. This will be my fifth year going there.

Have a tantalizing Tuesday!

Liz bless you for checking in with your friend from time to time. It is definitely not easy. I'm sure people who call my parents get the same vibe. My Mom cannot make it through a conversation without crying. My Aunt, who is also in her 80s and has her own struggles has started emailing instead of calling ... There are no easy answers, but any call you make from time to time is certainly a tremendous act of kindness.

It is getting very challenging to protect my peace. I'm trying my best to keep solid boundaries, but the barrage of need coming from BFF and my parents is relentless. Aussie sister is staying with a friend near my parents house and went to visit them yesterday. She just spent 45 minutes this morning, telling me how shocked she was about their situation. She thought it was bad last year when she visited... I KNOW how bad it is. The one good thing about the conversation was hearing someone else say there is no clear way to solve any of this. They are not incapacitated enough for us to take over legally. Anyhow, we will go visit tomorrow. My Mom is going to the doctor today. Last time he saw her, he wanted to put her in the hospital. She refused. I won't be surprised if he does again. It would be so helpful if she stayed a few days to drain the fluid. She is absolutely swollen from congestive heart failure.

Today will be low-key as I focus on happier things and start packing for Scotland. I am only bringing my carry on and a backpack since I'll be pulling my luggage on ferries and trains and busses. I'll pack the things I need for Massachusetts and Upstate New York in packing cubes, and DH will bring those when I meet him in Massachusetts. No need for me to drag sun dresses around Scotland : )

Greetings all

Another sunny one. Started the day with Scrabble where I proceeded to suck. Lost all three games though I was very close with the Shark. I had a 113 point play and still lost! Rats. After that I got a deli sandwich and went to the studio and glazed some things. Lots of activity there as usual.

Yep DD, nothing like aging parents to put a damper on peace. I know a few people whose parents made wise decisions on their own without pressure but not very many. It was my Mom's parkinson's disease that helped us convince her (gang up on) to move to a retirement home. In her own home there was hoarding and squalor was on the horizon. I do hope your mother goes to the hospital for a bit for everyone's sake. Glad you have aussie sister who has the same assessment. It is heartbreaking that your mom is so sad and fearful but as you know you cannot fix it. Don't have to set yourself on fire....Focus on future ferries!

So Liz Saratoga is horse races, right? Fun. Good on you for listening to disabled friend. I do wish you had video of Justice and his friend watching out the window.

Not much to say about weight and health other than I feel ok and am looking forward to this short trip. Hoping that the new grand niece will keep nephew from dragging us to Universal Studios and crap like that which is what he used to always want to do. As I kid he was always on the worst roller coasters and such - like the one at the county fair that they had to hose barf off of before the next riders. He is almost 40 so may have finally outgrown that stuff.

Diane S

It might be trickier to go with a baby so that could slow him down : ) Although we did do Disney when DS was only 5 months old.

( answer to the question, why would you take a baby? He won't remember. Answer: Because I want to see Disney and he goes everywhere I go)

I thought of you Diane when we had BLTs for supper with framer's market tomatoes. Mmm delicious.

Yes, Universal (and Disney) are for children in a certain age range and not for most adults (except to chaperone said children). Very tiring! But some adults still love that stuff for some reason. DD has a close friend who tries to go to Disney every year - she had her honeymoon there and took their son the first time just before he turned 1.

So sad that your Mom is so unhappy and sick but won't accept help. I wonder if the doctor may also want to hospitalize her to try to find a medication to reduce her CHF? My mother suffered from it in her last years and when the doctor wanted to change her meds he had to do it in the hospital so she was on a constant heart monitor. She lived more than 10 years after her first bout of CHF with fairly good quality of life - she did do what the doctor asked.

Such a difficult time of life when one has a parent *****fuses absolutely necessary help/intervention and you an do nothing because they do not consent. My mother did the same. It puts you in such a terrible position with your hands tied while you watch them make the choice to deteriorate.

I have firmly entered my "what am I saving it for?" years and am replacing stuff I don't like. In that vein, I ordered new nightstands for my second bedroom here. The previous ones were mismatched, one spray painted, and had no drawers, so not functional or terribly attractive. These are navy blue and so cute!

A little hard to see with the lighting, but here's a pic with a Kirby photobomb.

closeup:

Not much else to report. The outside's of both houses and the barn are going to be painted so they've been powerwashing with something bleachy the last few days. P-ew. But they look sparkling clean!

Can't wait to hear about your Scotland trip, DD! Take care all... (ps to Wordle players - got it in 2 today!)

A timely and wise decision and the tables are lovely. And Kirby of course needs to photo bomb. If he's not in the picture why ae you even taking it?

I love the nightstands and they are perfect with the bed and comforter.