1/10/05

Today is one of those days.  You know the ones where you just feel blah?  That's how I feel.  No particular reason.  Maybe it's just a case of the Monday's.  I don't know.  Why am I putting this here?  I guess just so that I can remind myself that even though my body has changed, I still have things to deal with internally.  Having this surgery and changing the way that I look on the outside doesn't automatically make all of my other issues go away.  It doesn't make my life all rainbows and sunshine.  I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling especially morbid today.  I should have worn black.

1/10/05

I'm still not sure what triggered my mood this morning, but I'm working my way out of it.  Just to show you that God knows everything, my friend Lavita- who I haven't talked to in days- sent me this poem and it's helped me a lot.  It's called 'Drinking from my Saucer'.

I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.

But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,

I'm reaping better than I sowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches,

and sometimes the going's tough.

But I've got loving ones all around me,

and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,

and the mercies He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,

My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,

and the sun peeped through again.

So Lord, help me not to gripe,

about the tough rows I have hoed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,

When the way grows steep and rough.

I'll not ask for other blessings,

I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,

to help others bear their loads.

Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Nice, huh?  I think so too.  I'm going to send her a great, big thank you for that because that was exactly what I needed.  I am waaaay too blessed (and way too cute:)  ) to be sitting around here with a funky attitude for NO reason.  I should be praising God because my cup has overflowed!

1/24/05

Well, it's been a couple of weeks and I'm pretty much back to being myself.  At the suggestion of one of my new friends (Thanks Cookie!), I took time out to talk to someone about the issues that I was dealing with.  What a help!!!!  Without putting ALL my business in the street :),  let's just say that for a while I thought just because I was smaller, I could approach situations the same way and get a different outcome.. not true.  I'd also been down because I hit my first plateau in my journey.  After my follow-up visit with Dr. Hobson, I stayed at 239 the rest of the week AND when I went to my Support Group meeting on the 15th, I weighed in at 242.5.  AARRGGHH!!!!  Needless to say, this nothing for my already sagging morale.  I knew that I couldn't blame anyone but myself because I had slacked off on my exercise, ate some things that I KNEW I had no business whatsoever putting in my mouth and just wallowed in my own little pool of self-pity.  BUT...  I got up and went to church that Sunday morning and I know that the message was just for me.  The topic - Self-Control.  Boy, did I need that!!!!  And I had no idea that my pastor was beginning a 21-day fast (and prayer) in the church to begin at 6pm that evening.  It was on this Sunday that I rededicated myself to doing all that I could possibly do to be the person (physically) that I wanted to be.  This is MY body.  I control IT... IT doesn't control ME!

Of course due to WLS, I couldn't participate in the fast that most members were doing, but I did a sacrifice.  The one thing I never let go of after surgery was my sweet tea and I confess, that since I found out that I don't dump on sugar, I've had my share of it... and carbs... some fried stuff, too.  My sacrifice - I let go of all of it - the sugar, the carbs (except in veggies), the fried food AND the tea!  I also dedicated myself to exercising EVERY day and guess what?  I DID IT!!!!  From 6pm on Sunday, 1/16 to 6pm on Sunday, 1/23, I did everything that I said I would do and my reward?  Stepping on the scale this morning and seeing... drumroll, please... 230.8!!!!! A difference of 11.7 pounds since last Saturday!!!!!

230.8 (BMI 36.0).  This week really showed me what I can I accomplish when I set my mind on a goal and exercise - you guessed it- Self-Control!  This second week of the Fasting and Prayer time is supposed to be focusing on praying three times a day for the areas of your life in which you need self-control and next week is the food - fasting week.  I am determined to stick to my sacrificial diet and exercise regime because 1) I want to support my pastor and 2) I am pleased with the results.

*If you take care of God's business, He'll surely take care of yours!