Kim-150

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Life is getting better.
My energy level has been SLOW to return. I work full time, and by the end of the day all I want to do is go home and rest. Before surgery I was always active after work. I know I am improving, but I have to realize that I am 45 years old, had major surgery 2 months ago, and this was my 3rd major surgery in 3 years. 

I have lost 40.6 pounds. I look at myself and I don't see it. The only way I tell is by my clothes and the scales. I weigh every morning, and I see the scale drop about half a pound a day.  I have purchase just a few new things, but still have a good bit in my closet that fits. All my nice size 22 and 24 suits have been cleaned and are hanging on the door to give to a friend. I am pretty much in size 20's, some tops are 18's , some bottoms are 22.  I am not ready to go shopping. I want to lose about 20 more pounds, then I can purchase spring clothes, hopefully in late March or early April. My Easter dress is going to be a size 16 or 18.

Eating is a chore. I start the day with a cup of coffee, with 2 splenda and 1/3 cup powdered skim milk. It is great - kind of like a think latte. Then at work I will sometimes have 1/2 a protein bar or 1/2 a pack of instant oatmeal. Then I drink at least 22 oz of flavored water. Lunch in fat free cottage cheese with sugar free peaches. Some time in the afternoon I have a protein shake. Dinner is the hardest. My family has always sat down to gether for dinner, but I have a horrible time every time I try to sit with them. I get choked, eat too fast, eat the wrong thing, and end up leaving the table gagging and throwing up. The only meat I can really eat is ground beef. Last night I has a small bowl of Velvetta and Shells Light, and I sat in the den eating while they sat at the breakfast table a few feet away. I was fine, didn't get sick. If I don't pay attenetion I overeat and get sick.  Later int he evening I usually have a tablespoon of chucky peanut butter or a cheese stick. I also have a sf banana popsicle most days. I take all my vitamins every day, never miss.  I figure I am geting 500 to 600 calories a day.

I am not exercising. I am ashamed of this, but I just haven't been doing it. I am cold all the time, and I can't stand the idea of walking outside. I have been to the gym a few times, but by the time I get on the treadmill, I am already exhausted! I am going to give myself a few more weeks, then try again.

Well, that's my story...and I'm sticking to it!

I had my 2 week post op appt yesterday with my surgeon. Everything is going great so far - not one single instance of sickenss or problems.

My diet was expanded to include cooked veggies, overcooked pasta, low fast cheese, eggs, yogurt & pudding, in addition to the protein shakes and other dairy products and creamed soups already allowed.

SO.. for dinner I had a Lean Cusine Mac and Cheese, and I ate the WHOLE thing! I was watching tv, eating slowly (one noodle at a time) and didn't even realize I ate the entire thing. That is how I got in this shape in the first place - mindless eating!

So my goal for this week is to focus on "mindful eating".

Happy New Years! I am 13 days weeks post op and have lost 20 pounds so far. I have not been sick, felt bad or had a single problem. I still get tired easily, but that is improving daily.
I actually wonder if I had surgery! 
My 2 week post op appt is tomorrow.

And all through the house,
every creature was stirring, even the mouse!
The stocking sare washed, and put away with care,
I hope tomorrow morning will soon be here.

The children are on their cell phones, ipods or computers
While visions of Gift Cards dance in their heads.
And mamma's in a tizzy and Dad's out of sight
I don't think we will sleep a wink all night

Ok... that's all I can think of ... I'm brain dead.

Tonight I had my daughter take some "before" pictures. For the very fist time I really realized how fat I am! I had never looked at a photo taken dead on from the rear view...OH MY GOSH! I can't believe that is my butt!
I printed out 4 different views to keep in my journal. If I feel like complaining about the pain or difficulty, I'm just going to take a view of those pics, and I am sure I will endure whatever I have to in order to cut that butt in half!

Just got back from my hospital  Pre-op. Now it is starting to seem real! I also started my pre-op diet today, ugh. Only 13 days... I know it will pass quickly, but now it seems  SOOOOO SLOOOOOW.