Kathie N.

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MommaAngel 22 years, 10 months ago

HI KATHIE I just want you to know that I am praying that everything will go smooth as you journey to the losing side. LORD BLESS

Kathie N. 22 years, 10 months ago

6-12-03 Well, I am still waiting to hear from the doctor as to what is going on with my insurance. I think I'll give the office a call tomorrow. I have been all over this site and some of the sites of the members here and I can't thank all of you enough for the time and effort that you all put into this cause. A year ago I was so against wls and now I would go NOW and have surgery if I could. My biggest fear has been the emotional end of things. I have been seeing a therapist for some long years now (I have bi-polar disorder) and she is sooooo against this. We really haven't had a change to sit down and talk things out but I have a feeling she will try and talk me out of this. It's not that I don't think that I can get the weight off; I know I can, I have done it before (like who hasn't); but my fear is putting all back on. Thats what happened to me the last time. I was up to around 220 and I got down to 125 and I kept it off for almost 2 years. My husband did not handle it well (along with other problems he was having at work) and I soon became the "bad" person in our relationship. I could have cheated on him, with his best friend no less, but I remained faithful, put up with his drinking, took the verbal and emotional abuse and ate my way up to 275 in no time. There was a divorce in there and low self esteem and more weight until I landed unhappily at 289. Well I am in a relationship now (our 6th anniversary will be this July, though we are not married or even living together) and he loves me the way I am though he worries about my health. I lost 50# last year so that I could have a hysterectomy (partial) and have put 10# back on since last June (2002). I just can't seem to get back on track. I love to work out but my legs get sooooo tired and full of pain. My worst nightmare would be to loose all of this weight and then loose this wonderful man in my life. Oh we have talked over and over again about this and I know that he is in no way shape or form anything like my ex, but how in the heck to I shake these fears?!?!?! Well, I don't know if anyone out there will ever read this but I just needed to talk. I guess this is the best place for me to journal right now. I am still going ahead with this. I just keep praying and figure if this is not in God's plans for me then He will make sure I know it. Good luck to all of you and God Bless