abetterlife2008

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I am still debating on what is going on. I have been at this for almost a year and have gone through every hoop possible. I am tired of waiting. I want to either "shit or get off the pot" so to speak. I sleep with the sleep apnea machine, I am terminally depressed and am waiting for something that may never happen. I want to have kids. I want a life. I want to live my life.

VERY IMPATIENT GIRL HERE....

Today is December 12, 2008. I am still waiting on all my paper work. I picked up my sleep apnea machine 2 days ago and am still so anxious for this surgery. In the meantime I have lost 7 pounds. I have gone from 356 to 348 I am soooo happy! I actually did it! I am still drinking lots of water and I don't hardly eat anything at all. It's almost like I have trained myself to not eat before my surgery so that I can lose weight before hand.

I wish my old hospital will send in my 5 years of medical records with the weights on them. I hate this...It's a waiting game and I am not patient!!!!!!!!!!

I want it now~

As of now...I am spending my weekends at a friends house. Been playing poker and am kinda buzzin right now. I know I have to stop drinking after my surgery for it will make things worse. Right now I feel as I am losing weight after many years of trying. Maybe it;s the fact that I am waiting on surgery. Right now, I wish it was tomorrow. The quicker the better. I can't wait. I want so much to look like a whole new person. A new attitude on life but the same personality. Sorry if none of this makes sense. I have been drinking a lot tonight. Reminds me of my B-day a couple months ago. A year from now, I will not look like I do now. Right now, I am really buzzed, did I already say that? Sorry, at least I can still type. I think I am going to go to bed, I can use all the help and friends and support I can get. I'm really bushed!

Love you all and thank you all so much for you comments and messages...they help so much.

Michelle

Ok, well, last night was my sleep study. I will have to go back again and do a night's stay with the CPAP mask. Last night I felt like it was suffocating me and I couldn't breathe. I slept great, dreamed a little bit, and then...they woke me up about 6 this morning. I was wide awake til about 8 this morning and now I am so tired. Honestly, I can lay down and just pass out cold for 12 more hours. I feel like I didn't get much sleep at all. The first thing I said was "I HAVE GUNK IN MY HAIR"!!!!!!!!!

I didn't get to go to the phsycologist just yet, but that is on 10/23/08. Whooo hooo!!!! One more person to tell me I am nuts. LOL!

Anyways, just letting you all know how things went last night. Talk to you soon. I am down to 353 so I started at 360 a month ago. (7 pounds and going down)

Thanks,
Michelle

Why on Earth is it taking so long? Seriously, I am ready to do the surgery now. I feel like a kid at Christmas time. I still have to figure out some things with my Insurance and I have Sleep Study Appt. October 1st and also the psychologist appt on October 1st as well. Then on October 2nd I will stay the night at the Sleep Center. I am getting a lot of Support and it seems like every where I go now people are saying "I got Gastric Bypass done in 2005!" Blah blah blah...I want to do it now...I am so stinkin impatient it's not even funny! I am ready for that "Little yellow polka dot bikini!" So ready! See you all soon! I haven't weighed since my appt with Dr. G. so we will see if I am losing any more lbs! Plus I am getting support and motivation from The Biggest Loser!

Talk soon!
Michelle

I truly believe at this point that the most important three things in anyone's life is Friends, Family and Support. Friends I have. No matter what I will always have the friends I have. The ones I don't keep, are only missing out on what is going to be the real me. Family...these are the people that have watched me grow and become the person I am today. Along the way they have been there for every bump and ditch I hit. Somehow I have managed to come out of them all with out very many wounds. Support..you have no idea how much support I have gotten since I had decided to tell my family that I was doing this surgery.

As for my background. I wanted you all to know the reason it is there. This group of guys that are on there are my second family. From left to right it's Andy, Bobby, Cory, Danny, Adam, and Robbie. I have known these guys for 7 going on 8 years!!! I wouldn't know where I would be with out my second family. Sometimes LIVEWIRE (their band) has gotten me through life not with advice, but with MUSIC! Their songs are awesome and I love them all. I don't think I could ever have been more privleged to have a group of six men that all love me for me. For if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have come out of my shell that I built up around me. They truly are the meaning of Love and Support.

Also, I have plenty of other people that love me. Mainly other groupies that I have come to know over the last few years. I am very fortuante to have everyone I have in my life right now. If it weren't for them I probably would be sitting on a couch on welfare eating Oreo's all day long.

Thanks for reading today! Talk to you soon!!!!

I don't think I have ever been so anxious to hear back from a Dr.'s office. I am excited, nervous, scared to death. But in my heart I know it's the best thing for me. Who knows what I will look like in 18 months. I can't wait to see the pounds start dropping off and I can't believe how many people have already done this surgery. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. I can't wait to be skinny and enjoy my life instead of hiding in a house somewhere. I have an awesome job but I work on the second floor of my building. I would love to be able to just jog up the stairs and be able to bend over and tie my shoes, I have several friends and family members that support me. I had my best friend tell me Saturday night, that beauty is beauty and no matter what I look like he will always be my Big Brother. That I should do it for me, not for anyone else. But he supports my decision to do it and not many of my friends would ever support me. I am so glad I have the friends I have. I don't know what I would do without them. Maybe this next Valentine's Day I will get something! :)

Step 1

Today 9/12/08 was my very first appointment with my WLS. (Intake appointment) I had already attended a siminar and with moral support, emotional support from my family and friends I know it will be hard, but I am willing to make myself a better person. A healthier me. This is my life and my world. I am the only one that change it. I will be on here daily to update everything up until I get my approval and validation. I am doing the bypass. After a long thought process, I think this is the best choice for me. I look forward to keeping track of every step of this process and making lifelong friends that know where I am coming from. See you tomorrow! :)

Thanks,
Michelle