ambernichole

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It's amazing how time gets away from us.  I lived on this page before my surgery, but since my surgery, I hardly ever visit.  I kind of feel guilty about it.

Anyway, I figure while I'm here, I'll give you all an update.  I'm almost five months out and I'm down 79 lbs. 

First of all, I know I've been MIA.  I have been extremely busy with work and my life.  Work is my life these past few weeks though.  It's amazing how much time you lose by adding little things like working out and playing softball to your schedule.  My social life has picked up a little bit too.  As my title states, I'm down 62 lbs.  I went shopping this past weekend and got me two new pair of pants, a pair of jeans and a pair of khakis and five new shirts.  It was a great feeling to go because I'm down to a 14/16 top and a 20 bottom.  I bought two new bras too, but they are the same size.  I'm not sure if I'm happy that my boobs haven't shrunk or if I'm sad.  I was thinking that the inches would have at least gone down from a 40 to maybe a 38, but it hasn't.  Oh well.  Things could be worse.

I'm posting new pictures!  Go check them out!

Well, I'm almost 8 weeks out and I'm down 41 lbs.  I added a couple of new pictures that were taken this past Saturday night.  I feel a lot better.  Today I went to the YMCA and got set up on their Fitlinxx system.  She also showed me some exercises to do with some free weights.  Now, I just need to get into a good routine.

I can pretty much eat anything.  Bread and I don't get along though.  I started drinking the Minute Maid Light Lemonade.  I like it, but I think it may be too much acid for my pouch right now.  I'm still trying to get all of my protein in.  It seems a lot easier and I feel a lot better now that I can eat just about anything.

As of today, I'm down 31 pounds.  I have my one month post-op on Friday.  Then, I head up to the hospital to visit T. Howell as her surgery is tomorrow.  I can't wait for her to be on the losing side with me.

Anyway, I've gotten sick of string cheese and yogurt already.  I made me some scallops at lunch time and I don't think my body likes them.  I tried them before and had the same result; an upset stomach.  At least shrimp doesn't seem to bother me.  This week, I get to start having chicken.  I can't wait.  I love chicken.  I just need to find some good chicken recipes to have a variety.

Part of me wants this weight to come off faster, but at least it's coming off. 

I think it's funny how most people tend to stay away from fat people at the pool.  I was at the pool on Saturday.  I had three empty chairs beside me.  Everyone that walked in all sat on the opposite side of me...crammed in between people they didn't know...skinny people they don't know.  I'm sure I'm probably just being paranoid, but I thought it was funny.  I'll be glad when I lose my weight.  I'm not ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit.  I know that I'm on a journey and one day, I'll be just as skinny as them.  I guess it doesn't help that I live in one of the ritziest parts of town.  I found a great deal...so I jumped on it.   I just hate that we're looked at as if we're some contagious disease.

I talked to my nutritionist last week when I was in her office.  I asked her about weight loss stalls.  She said you shouldn't be stalling early in the game unless you're not walking.  Well, my scale stayed the same for three days.  Some may not call that a stall, but I do...especially when I'm losing an average of 10 lbs a week.  I know it's going to slow down, but I wasn't expecting it to stop for three days.  Anyway, Wednesday I figured I'd better start walking.  I'm supposed to be doing it anyway.  so, I started walking Wednesday.  Last night I walked forever and it felt great.  I have that really good muscle ache going on today.  I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm down another pound.  Granted I've been peeing like a mad woman too.  I don't know what's up with that because I'm not really drinking more water than normal.

I just walked up to work a bit ago.  It is hot outside and most of the walk was uphill, but in the shade.  I'm only at work for a little bit longer as I have a lunch date with T. Howell today at 1:00 and I definitely need a shower.  I so want to just guzzle a bottle of water right now.  I miss doing that.

Last night after my long long walk, my roommate and I walked by the pool to see if it was filled with water yet.  For some reason, the grand opening party isn't until 6/16.  I think that's a little late for a pool to be opening.  Anyway, the pool was filled with water.  So, I went back to the house, changed into my bathing suit, and got in the pool.  It felt SO good.  I may get in it tonight and do some laps.  I love to swim.

Hopefully my weight loss will continue.  So far I'm down 26.2 lbs...or was it 26.8?  I can't remember.

I'll tell you.  Just getting food in on a regular basis is hard.  I'm not hungry at all.  I have no appetite and I don't want to eat.  I'm also not getting enough water in.  I've posted notes all over my desk at work that say "Water!"  I'm trying to eat every three hours like I've been told to do, but it's hard.  I'm also having a hard time getting protein in.  I also haven't been walking, but that's about to change.  I wanted to start going to the gym in the mornings before work, but I can't force myself to get out of bed.  I used to go at night after work and that worked fine.  I guess I'll just have to start going at night again.  At least I'll be going.  All I can do right now is walk anyway.  I'll be there an hour.  

As of today, I'm down 25 pounds.  I need to find a ticker.

Well, I was anticipating that I'd have to eat pureed foods for a month.  However, I can have real food!  I still can't have any meats or veggies, but I can bite into something.  I'm soooo looking forward to my first piece of cheese toast!  I'm down 19lbs.  Exciting!

no wait....it has made itself comfortable.  My surgery is in a lilttle over 56 hours.  I have completely forgotten if I'm supposed to take my entire 1.5oz bottle of Fleet Phospho-Soda at once or if I'm supposed to take it in doses.  I'll have to call Dr. B's office tomorrow.

I haven't been sleeping well at night at all.  I am so anxious and scared.  Last night I had a dream about my surgery and it wasn't pleasant...but it wasn't bad.  It was kind of weird really.  

I've been mad crazy at work.  Today went by fast even though I figured it would go by slow.  I hope tomorrow goes by fast.  I'm only working until noon on Wednesday.  Then comes the bowel prep.

I'm glad I don't have to do the two week liquid diet.  I never would have made it.  I hope Dr. B even does surgery.  I ate sorta bad today.  It's just hard to eat good when I know these are the last meals I'm going to get to have for a while.  Ugh.  Let me enjoy my food!

Although I know it's quite normal to be scared of having surgery, I've seriously been freaking out.  This usually happens at night when I'm attempting to go to sleep.  Well, I have a little calendar like thing that sits in my room.  It's called The LIfe You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg.  Anyway, there are different exerpts for different days.  So, I decided today to look at May 17th which is my surgery day to see what it said.  It said....

"I know that ultimately the choice everyone faces is the choice between hope and despair.  Jesus says, 'Choose hope.'"

How's that for a little peace of mind?