amiesue
My story is probably similar to many others here... my whole family was heavy and I followed suit. I did lose weight on Weight Watchers when I was in Junior High and then got a LOT of attention which ended up with me being in a very bad situation that ultimately led to a very bad experience. After that I started gaining and didn't really look back - it wasn't until many years later when I was training to work on a rape crisis hotline that I understood that I started eating to create a cocoon and protect myself, after all, no one would want to hurt me again if I were fat, right? Understanding that though did not resolve the problem and I continued to turn to food for virtually anything and at some point I feel it turned the corner from coping to addiction - because there are times I truly feel out of control with regard to food. After many years I have dealt with my history and even embrace it because after all every experience ultimately leads you to where you are and I have a wonderful 8 year old who I love like nothing else.
I understand now why I started eating but it is up to me to take control and make a change. I am an over achiever in general and am very passionate about my work. I am a geek and love it - I excel at work and find continued frustration that I continually fail in this one section of my life. I feel that I am living a life of contradiction and when I finally accepted that surgery was a REQUIREMENT for me and NOT a failure I felt that I was getting my life back. I am on track to have surgery in May of this year and I am determined to understand the tool of the RNY and how to make it best for for me.
I am grateful I found this site so I could find support, which I know is essential. I can't do it on my own, and am not feeling like it is a failure for me to say that!
