amseek
Following the Yellow Brick Road
Mar 25, 2009
Hello out there!This is my first post, so I'm probably just going to ramble .. and it's bound to be depressing and full of self-pity. Forgive me, okay? I promise, it won't be the last.
My name is Anna. I'm certain I'm not unique. I'm reaching out to others for a place to start.
I'm 5-2, 238 pounds, and feel like crap ... most days anyway.
I'm in Retail Management. I loathe my job. Loathe, it's such a strong word. To me it's worse than hate. But I do, I loathe my job! I'm completely over "customer service". If I never have to smile falsely at another person and say "I'm so sorry for your ..." when I'm secretly screaming, "hey schmuck, what's wrong? Can't you read the sign?" Yeah, yeah, get another one. Have we been paying attention to the unemployment rate? I'm luckier than some though. I co-manage a grocery store. Given, the turn the economy has taken, we've seen an increase in sales. I guess more people are staying home and cooking these days.
Working in a grocery store is part of the problem, I think. I have an entire store to choose from should I get hungry at work. You'd think I'd head to produce, right? Nope, aisle 7. Snacks and soda. I should be wearing a shock collar. When I cross the end of the aisle, I get zapped. Man, what a deterrent that would be! Yep, I have no self control.
But I feel like Dorothy inside the tornado. My life is spiraling out of control. I want off this crazy ride!
My husband, daughter, and I took a weekend trip to NYC in early December. I was my first time in the Big Apple. Oh, how I fell in love! The problem was, I couldn't keep up. I thought for sure I was going to have a heart attack just getting from train to train on the subway (we were in a hurry because we were running late).
Again, I'm luckier than some. I don't have any major health issues ... yet. I have a bum knee, but no diabetes, high blood pressure, or cholesterol issues. I stay on my path of destruction and they'll be lurking in the dark, just waiting for me.
My biggest problem? I love to cook. I mean LOVE to cook. It's my outlet when work makes me crazy (which is more often than not). I love to try new foods. I'll be walking the store, checking stock conditions, neatness, etc, and I'll run across something new. I bring it home. I'm certain I can use it in a recipe, or build a recipe around it.
Like Dorothy, I need to start at the beginning of the yellow brick road and follow the path through the good and bad.
I don't know that weight loss surgery (if that's the correct term) is for me at all. I wouldn't have thought about it, had my daughter not mentioned it to me. Yeah, you should have been in the car for that conversation. It really felt like a failure. Mind you, she wasn't being insulting. I had been, yet again, telling her why I can't do this, or that. She mentioned at a teacher of hers had had surgery (not sure what kind) and she looked amazing and said how much better she felt. It's been sitting in the dark in the back of my mind since.
I don't want to rule it out, but I don't want to jump onto that wagon just yet. I want to try seriously try to lose some weight myself.
I just don't know where to start ...
