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1.****il goal I only ever ate at a table, with a plate and utensils. This curbed all snacking and mindless eating.

2.) 100oz plus of water daily

3.) During loss, two shakes a day and one all protein meal

4.) During maintainance one protein shake per day to maintain protein balance and over comsumption of calories

5.) Stay connected to the WLS community, be it though support groups, personal WLS friends, online support and so on

6.) Try new healthier foods

7.) Always use the sugar free option when there is one

8.) Plan food weekly, I go to TJs each Sunday and get my food for the week. Cooked chicken, ham, eggs, crumpets, walnuts, cottage cheese, pineapple, dried orange flavored cranberries, mixed dried berries, panchetta, lettuce, various dressings, peanut butter, multiple nut mixes, and various cheeses. To this day this is 85 percent of my diet.

9.) Be honest with yourself... on many levels. Dont lie to yourself about your bad habits, own that **** and handle it. Its may be difficult but is easier than dealing with the repercussions of destructive habits that go untamed.

10.) Take a **** ton of pictures

11.) Set small goals, big goals and reward the **** outa everything.... buy yourself clothes not food and buy them tight! No room for gain... Nothing makes you put down the fork like a ******g muffin top.

12.) Dont look at this as a change in your weight and body. Its a change in your entire life! You didnt gain weight just because you enjoy cuppycakes... it is typically a reflection of a lot more. Not all of us are Capitan happy and successful like dear ole Frisco. Love you Friskey boy... (Ill love you more if you brought me back a treat from that last trip of yours) Look at your life, why are you where you are? Is it where you want to be? How can you change things to be the person you want to be? Figure out that **** and make it happen. I changed my entire outlook on life and it was hard. I had to let go of a lot. I had to own that I wasn't honest with ME about how I felt about my life and those feelings perhaps led to many of my bad habits that led to becoming a big ole fatty. Being happy and fulfilled about all aspects of your life will serve you well all around, especially in the weight loss arena.

13.) Ask questions, there are none too stupid... The more you know the better youll do

14.) Make it to your follow up appts. Checking in is good for your head and keeps you in line. Accountability is

15.) Own your process. The ups and the downs, theres no room for blame....

16.) Weigh daily (this was a must for me I know many this wouldnt work for.) In my head if the scale is up I better watch what I am eating to drop back down to where ever it is I want to be and if its down or "normal for those in maintenance" its motivation to keep up the good work. I am at my best when I am well aware.

17.) Always choose the meal you will be eating at a restaurant before you walk through the ******g door. Dont set yourself up to fail. Go online. Choose your meal from their menu and dont even bother looking at a list of tempting foods you cant have. A bite off a friends plate wont kill you... Your own full plate of pasta just might. Okay it wont kill you but itll kill your success.

18.) If you know your about to go somewhere that you know will be tempting you with food. A party, super fatty restaurant, fill up first. I still do this. Have some dense meat or some almonds that will keep you full so you wont be tempted. And for those who say "what will my friends say if I dont eat" What the **** kind of friends do you have? If my friends only like me because we can sit next to one another while eating, Im guessing I need some new friends!!! My company is gift enough damnit! How hard is it to say "I already ate but I really wanted to visit you cause youre just so ******g awesome" If they haven't noticed your trying to lose weight at this point it may be time for brighter friends anyway.

19.) Realize that your life will probably be ALL ABOUT WLS for a while and thats okay!!! You will get back to real life in time but if you dont focus now... you will have had surgery for nothing! There is a time frame on quick loss, if you dont get with the program it will pass you by and youll be a sad... and still chunky puppy.

20.) NEVER DRINK your calories!!!! There really is no excuse for this **** I hear people cry about how much they love high cal coffees and shakes and soda. No sympathy folks... I love a lot of things I cant have but you dont see my dry humping Val Kilmer now do you!!!!

21.) Dont whine about all the foods you should be eating but "dont like" "cant stomach" or whatever and use that as an excuse to eat pizza... none of us want to live on ******g chicken and broccoli.... but we find **** we like that is on our food list and eat it. Its not about what you like and what you want.. You had what you liked and did it get you where you wanted to be? None of us wanted to be chillen on the beach in our 3x swimsuits now did we and thats where the foods we so loved got us. Ever notice the skinny ***** next you on the beach had a bottle of water? Didnt think so, why? Cause we couldnt see her ass past our foot long sub and family size bag of doritos... Okay thats it I think... Just the way I looked at **** to get through it all

I am very pleased to say that after the initial pain associated with this surgery, my recovery has been a breeze so far (knock on wood).

The first day or two I experienced some pain, but nothing that Tylenol couldn't handle. Worse than the pain from the surgery was the pain from my menstrual cramps. Of course I had to get my period on the same day I had my surgery.

I'm doing really well with the full liquid diet, getting in my fluids and protein, even ventured out to Walmart for a wee bit of shopping today. Each day | seem to be able to tolerate eating a little bit more, and can't wait to have meat again!!!

So, I woke up this morning and enjoyed my last breakfast shake. Only 3 more to go. I'm so nervous and excited for tomorrow that I am honestly shaking as I write this. I am down 27 lbs since I started OptiFast 28 days ago. It is so hard to believe.

I have to say that the OH Forums have been my lifeline as I travel on this journey. the success stories, the NSVs, the before and after pics...they all give me hope that my success story will be the next one posted. I will do everything in my power to be a success story! 20 years of being overweight is too many. It is time for me to find my inner athlete, the young Amy that used to enjoy all kinds of sports - even swimming.

One of the weirdest things about my weight loss so far is that I am always cold. No matter how many layers i have on, or how high I turn up the furnace, I am constantly cold! My husband grumbles about the house being too war...but I told him to just deal with it! While I am on this weight loss journey, our gas bill might be a little higher than he is used to...but won't a thinner, healthier me be worth it in the long run? He laughed:)

There's not much left to do today besides finish packing, drop the kids off at Grandpa's, and wait (or weight:)).The weather doesn't seem to be cooperating with my wish for a stress-free drive. Freezing rain and snow are in the forecast. We're leaving Kitchener plenty early in the morning, so I'm hopeful that we'll make it to the hospital on time.

I'll see you on the other side...

I am almost there! Today is my last day of work, and I look forward to returning in a month as a "new and improved" version of myself.

I've completed 25 days of Optifast, lost 24 pounds, and gained a new insight into my stick-to-it-iveness. I know that I can do this. I can stick to this plan, eat what I am supposed to eat, and emerge as healthier, more energetic, happier me.

This last week has been very emotional, and I have seen  my fair share of stress. I had to let go of some volunteer work that has been a very big part of my life for the past four years. It felt good to step down from my position as President of the Kitchener Ringette Association. I know that I needed to do it in order to be in the best frame of mind post-surgery. I look forward to having extra time to spend with my husband and kids, and to not having all of the stress that accompanied the position.

I am thankful for the support of my colleagues and friends, who have been there for me through the past few months. I did not share my journey to surgery with very many people (as I didn't want to deal with the naysayers), but those who do know have offered me very kind words of encouragement.

My daughter celebrates her 12th birthday tomorrow, and I am looking forward to spending the day with her. I am grateful that I have a long weekend to spend with my family before I head to Toronto for surgery on Tuesday. I think it will be just what we need. My daughter is feeling quite stressed about the fact that I am having this surgery, and is very worried about something going wrong. My husband and I keep trying to reassure her that everything will be ok, but she's still quite stressed. I am hoping some time with Grandma and Grandpa will help take her mind off of her worries.

Quote of the week:

Saying YES to HAPPINESS means learning to say NO to THINGS and PEOPLE that STRESS you out ~ Thelma Davis

I can't believe that I am only 7 days away from surgery!  This past 18 months has been quite a journey for me. Here are 10 things I have learned during this process:

1. I can drive to Toronto on my own:)

2. I can live without drinking pop.

3. I do enjoy drinking water.

4. Mio is the best invention ever.

5. I love my husband more than ever.

6. McDonald's is REALLY bad for me.

7. I like cooking healthy food. It makes me feel like I am doing something good for my family.

8. I still don't like going to the doctor.

9. Parking meters at the hospital are stupid. Cash, coins, credit card...make up your mind!

10. I am stronger than I ever thought.

This is unbelievable! 7 days! 7 days!!! After 20 years of being overweight and obese, I am taking a giant leap towards a healthier me! Whoot whoot!

The last two weeks have really taught me a lot about myself. I don't have to eat to be happy! I am really enjoying my Optifast, and have even convinced myself that if I add enough ice, it tastes just like ice cream. This is a great mental trick that I am playing on myself.

My weight loss has slowed down, but I know that I am not doing anything wrong. For once, I have not cheated on a diet! it feels really good to know that I can do this. I can do something positive for myself!

My surgery is 2 weeks away, and I am starting to feel pretty anxious about it. I have all the faith in the world in my surgeon, but I am still wary of complications. I've never had an issue with surgeries in the past, but I have never had anything like this. I am nervous that something won't work. I'm nervous that I will wake up, and the surgeon will tell me he wasn't able to complete the procedure. I know these are somewhat irrational fears, but they are fears nonetheless.

I know that this is a life-changing surgery. I have the best support system in the world. I will be a success story. It will just take some time to really come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be called "Big Amy". I think that I have hidden behind my weight for so long that I can't imagine not having to hide anymore. Will it open more doors for me? Who knows. But at least I can give it a try!

Looking forward to writing my blog on February 5th, 2014.

It's funny how sometimes you manage to psych yourself up over something that is really no big deal. I remember 7 days ago when I ate my "last meal" -  I won't even tell you how bad it was for me - I didn't think there was any way that I could make it through 4 weeks with no food. I gagged at the thought of protein shakes, and was so very doubtful of my ability to give up food. However, here I am. Day 8 of my Optifast diet, and I have to confess...I like them. I actually look forward to my shakes.

I take great satisfaction in the sound of my Magic Bullet crushing the ice cubes inside my delicious chocolate shake. The crushing, loud, echoing sound that resonates from that blender is the sound of the excuses I've used over the years to explain my inability to lose weight being crushed into tiny pieces. I no longer have those excuses. I feel empowered to help myself.

Every time I open up an Optifast package, I feel proud of myself. I can do this. For me.

I have 20 more days to go. That's 80 more Optifast shakes. I am telling you today, every one of those shakes is going to taste better than the last, because at the end of it all, I will be rewarded with a brand new me! Bring on February 19th!

 

Started my Optifast yesterday, and so far, so good. 

I have no idea what to expect in terms of weight loss, but I know that whatever it is, it will be enough:) I really want to make sure that I am in the best shape possible for my surgery. I have no underlying health risks, aside from my obesity, so I am working hard to make sure that I do everything I can to make this easier on my surgeon, and on my recovery.

This initial post will likely be quite rambling, as I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my head. It is hard to believe that after 18 months of waiting, my date is just around the corner. 27 days from today, I will be at St Joseph's Hospital going under the knife. I am scared, excited, nervous, anxious...all of those things and more. I am so thankful for my support. My wonderful husband and parents, my amazing co-worker and friend Tracy, and my ringette family. This is such a momentous event in my life, and I am so grateful that I have so many wonderful people supporting me along the way. My hope is that one year from now, I will look like a different person outside, but inside, i will just be a more confident version of myself. That's all I am asking for. I feel like in order to feel deserving of all  he blessings in my life, I need to be thinner. I don't know why, but that is what I feel. At least today.

As I walk down this path of life change, I am looking forward to blogging about my adventures, my trials, and my tribulations.

Here I go...