I am back...almost 5 years post-op!

Aug 04, 2010

Hi everyone! 

I had WLS on 8-10-2005.  I had an open RNY. My surgeon was Dr. Dwayne Smith.   I would not change one single thing about my decision to have WLS.  My highest weight was 300lbs...I am 5'3".  I lost a total of 179lbs. I had reconstructive surgery to complete the process and remove excess skin, etc in 2007.    My life is truly blessed.  I gave myself an amazing present that day.  God blessed me with a new life.  I have been reborn.  I can do things I couldn't do in my 20's. I am still amazed by the smallest of things I couldn't do before, that I can do now.  I am still learning how to do some things I was never able to do before.  I have so many things on my list I want to try.  I have so many things to learn.  When you are 300lbs, your body doesn't have the coordination or the knowledge how to sit in the floor and get up, climb on a motorcycle, run, fit in a booth in a restaurant, buy clothes in a store instead of a catalog, fit in a bathroom stall, have seatbelts that fit....and so many other things I am still finding out.   Losing all of the weight didn't change that fact.  I still had to learn how to do all of that stuff...because I didn't know what to do first or second to climb on a motorcycle (because there wasn't room for me and a driver before) or to attempt to get myself up off the floor....how do I do that?  I know now!!

I went from a size 4X-5X to a size 4-6.  I saved the outfit I wore to the hospital and a couple of others.  I never saw myself as large as those clothes look now.  Those are an excellent reminder....and they keep me grounded  I show others my before pics and the clothes....I am not ashamed of who I was.  I am the same person I was before, the only thing that has changed is my appearance and my health....and I am happier!!  I am the same person now as then.....no better....and that is a GREAT thing.  I have never been in single digits (without XXXX's) in my entire life before now.  I never dreamed I would lose as much weight as I did.  All of my health problems are gone and so are my prescriptions I had to take.  I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux, severe depression, Type II diabetic going onto insulin, and needed knee replacement due to being "severly morbidly obese".  My BMI was 49.  I have had weight issues all of my life.  I have heard comments all of my life.....starting with my dad.  "If you just lost some weight you would really be pretty".  I never felt good enough the way I was.  My weight was something I thought about 24/7.  I was overweight most of my life.  I became obese after I had my kids....as the depression and self-esteem got worse....and my first husband made constant comments about my weight.  He was no lightweight himself.  When we divorced (and to this day) he weighs over 350-375lbs.

I "lived" on this site before/during.....researching.....spending hours learning about the various types of WLS, looking at "before/afters" and wishing that could be me one day and reading/posting on the message boards looking for advice and support.  I don't know what I would have done without this site.  My surgeon recommended this site.....and I have referred everyone I know interested in WLS here.  This site was/is a God send.  Thank you OH and all  of the people who helped me along the way.  I am "paying it forward" just like you helped me along the way.  I wouldn't be where I am today without this site!
 
I had a full profile with before-during-after pics and blogged faithfully throughout my entire experience....because I didn't want to ever forget where I came from, or what I went through to get where I am now.  I faithfully took a picture for the first year each month on my re-birthday date (the 10th) and posted it.....because I knew i would never look like that or experience those emotions again in my life.  I have taken a picture each year on my re-birthday.  IT WILL BE 5 YEARS 8-10-05!!  I made it....I am an after.....  I have a book with all of my pictures.....up until last year.  I had all of the pictures saved on my computer.

I married abusive husband #2 while I was 300lbs.....in 2002.  I was married the first time for 20 years and had 2 kids.  I thought he was the best I could do....and of course the abusive side shows up after the marriage....or at least it did in my case.  I don't know...maybe I blocked it out because I didn't feel I was worth any better.  I knew nothing about WLS at the time......and probably wouldn't have had the courage to go through with it if I had.   After I lost the weight.....he felt threatened....even though I never gave him a reason to feel that way.  The only person I wanted to hear compliments from, to hear they were proud of me....was from him.  He never, ever gave me either.  The abuse became worse and worse.  It finally became serious enough to the point that he tried to kill me on July 26, 2009.  To this day I cannot remember that day.  A neighbor found me unresponsive and called 911 because my husband refused.  While I was in the hospital for a week....my husband fled the state.  I am lucky to be alive.  When I got home, everything of any value was gone....including the computer with every saved document and picture I owned.  He closed all of my accounts and emails.....and changed every password.  I can't get into my old profile here.  What he stole is just "stuff".  It can be replaced.  I went through a lot to get where I am now.....and I realize I deserve so much better than I ever allowed myself to believe.  My soon-to-be ex husband tried to steal my "happily ever after"......he just delayed it a little.  I am in the process of divorce (I FILED!!) and ready to live life to the fullest.  I didn't come this far......to give up now.  His loss.  I am fine....and I am still blessed.....more so without him.  The only difference is.....now......I can do EVERYTHING FOR (not by) myself.  I don't need anyone to do it for me.  If I decide down the road to be in another relationship, it will be because I want to, not because I feel it is the best I can do and just settle.  I am finally......physically capable of anything!!

God bless all who are just starting their journey.......or still deciding.  I would not change a single thing.  I got a second chance at life.....and it is AWESOME!!  Was it easy....NO.  Was it worth it.....every single second!! 

Melannie

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