Angelafree
9 Months
Mar 08, 2011
Lately I have been really discouraged. In the first 8 months since WLS I lost over 100 lbs. I was thrilled to see the numbers on the scale steadily declining and even more excited to shop! Clothes FIT now, and not just the expensive stuff from Lane Byrant! I found that I had so much more confidence, too. I felt like I looked "normal" for the first time in my life- my body was just like everyone else's.But then, it just stopped. All of a sudden the numbers weren't declining anymore- they weren't moving at all. And the longer this went on the more discouraged I got and the more depressed I was getting. The new-found confidence was all but gone went I went to see Cathy for my 8 month post-op check. The discouragement had made me depressed and the depression was making me eat- snack. Yes, snack- that evil little word we all learned to despise when we did our WLS counseling and nutritionist visits.
Basically, I had gotten so busy with work and life I was sacrificing the time I needed for me: time for planning meals and for exercising. Let's be honest, as working moms we learn pretty quick that if something has to be sacrificed it isn't going to be from our kids or our spouses- we give up stuff for us. For me this meant that I wasn't exercising (as a teacher summers were great for working out, but I started slacking when school started!) and I was getting so discouraged about not finding time for exercise that I was coping with food. (Mind you this was all just a month ago, but it's much easier to see in retrospect!)
Anyway, Cathy told me all those things I knew she would: no snacking, watch your diet, and get your but moving! When I left her office I felt a renewed commitment to what I'd started 8 months ago.
So, here it is a month later and I've been busting my butt! I pretty much nixed the snacking, and I've increased my work-outs to twice a day (yes, you read that right haha!) However, the pounds are still reluctant...
Then today I was called to go to another school- a school with 3 floors. A teacher came to the office and asked me to help with an unruly student in her classroom. She was panting a little and I assumed it was from adrenaline- that is, until we got to the stairs. She looked at me and apologized for her room being on the 3rd floor, and I didn't realize why at first- until we started going up. She was really struggling to get up so many stairs. I, however, had no problem- kept breathing normal and actually enjoyed feeling a little burn in my legs. When we got to the top of the stairs, the teacher actually had to sit down for a second and me? Well, I was just fine...
And then it hit me. I've been into weight loss for a while, but it's been for all the wrong reasons. A year ago I would have walked up those stairs, but I would have looked bright red, been sweating up a storm, and would have been struggling to pretend like I was fine when all I really wanted to do was sit down and catch MY breath. All I've been thinking about is what I want to LOOK like- not about how I want to FEEL! The number isn't moving, but I can play tag with my kids now and actually run. I can play games with students during recess and not get short winded. My health has totally turned around- my body feels strong! I feel strong- and, to be honest, I'm still a little bummed about the numbers slowing down a little- but what I've gotten from WLS feels so much better right now!!
