AutumnBreeze
I am 37 years old, married since December 1990 to Steve, and the mother of one daughter named Emily Amber. I weighed 421 pounds when I started and I am 6'1. I have been trying to have WLS since February 2003 when I was given a referal by my doctor after visiting him once again for pain in my hips, knee, back, and feet. I soon received a packet(mini book) in the mail which I completed and returned to the surgery center in Brunswick. I was contacted in a few days and advised that my next step was to contact my local pcp and have a thyroid test done and a sonogram of my gallbladder. I was nervous about having the surgery and had decided to leave it up to the insurance company to make my decision for me. If they approved it then it was suppose to be and if not it was not suppose to be. I contacted my pcp and of course the person that I needed to arrange this with was not in. I left a message. The next day I left another message. On the third day I received a call from her and she wanted to know what I needed this for. After advising why I needed this and asking her to check my chart she told me she would look into where the sonogram could be done and would call me back. About a week later she called and gave me the information but also advised me that the insurance would not pay for this and after speaking for a few minutes also told me that they were not going to pay for the surgery either that they advised that it was not medically necessary but cosmetic only. Being scared and letting the insurance make my decision I let it drop right there and never pursued it any further. As time passed I gained more and more weight and hurt more each day. I began to look into surgery again in early fall of 2004 by searching the internet and discovered that it was now offered in Savannah Georgia at Memorial Health which is a lot closer to my residence than Brunswick is. I went back to my doctor to try to get a new referal letter and he questioned why I had not followed through with the surgery in 2003 and I explained to him that they would not pay for it then. He was shocked and wrote a new letter. After this second letter was written was when it was discovered that the insurance company never even knew about the request. Needless to say the employee that gave me false information was no longer a employee with my pcp and was fired months ago. I can't imagine why. I am very angry at her, but also myself for not pushing it further at that time but that is the past and it can't be changed so I am moving forward. I have a WONDERFUL new program that I am now involved at Memorial and I know that I will be a success. I have completed my introduction meeting, physc evaluation,I take my sleep test for sleep apnea on January 14th, I have been to several support meetings, attended several group couseling meetings which was required since I appear to have some extreme emotional issues, re-joined weight watchers to take off 36 pounds that must be lost due to CAT scan weight limit rules at Memorial, and have signed my compliance contract. I have been told that as soon as I accomplish or get real close to completing everything on my signed contract I will be submitted to insurance for approval and given a surgery date.I still seem to have to do battle with the clerks at my pcp office for what I need and had to fight with them to get a referal sent to the sleep disorder doctor so insurance will pay but I have learned not to give up and do what it takes. I don't want to have to change to another pcp unless I have to since the office is close to my home and place of employment.I have no problems with the surgery center and I am very excited and every one at the surgery center is so nice and wonderful. Three of the employees have had the surgery already and have done great.I have called my insurance carrier so many times in the last year that they know me well and I have a great lady that works in the appeals department on my side. She gave me her personal office phone number and told me to contact her the minute my request is sent in by the surgery center. I feel very assured that the surgery will be approved once it is submitted by the proper person.1-12-05 Attended a weight watchers meeting this evening and lost 6 pounds this week which leaves 30 remaining that I have take off before the surgery can be done since Memorial has a weight limit due to CAT scan rules. 385 is the max and I am working my way towards that magic number.
1-15-05 I took my sleep test last night. Oh what fun that was...not! I felt like an experiment in a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde lab.I was so exhausted when I arrived since I had been up since 4am to be at work at 6am and was ready to go right to sleep but after having several colored wires and pads glued to my head, neck, chin, face, chest, and legs I was wound up and had a difficult time going to sleep which is odd for me. I usually pass out in 3 minutes or less and hardly ever wake up during the night. I am so hoping that I do not have sleep apnea. I get the results back when I see my doctor on the 26th. If the test is positive I will have to schedule another sleep test which takes about 6 weeks to get an open bed, be hooked up to all the wires again as well as a breathing machine to see what number my machine will need to be set on, and then be on the machine for at least 6 weeks before the doctor will do the surgery. I am so hoping that the test is negative or I am looking at adding at least another 12 weeks waiting time which at this point seems like forever. The 2 ladies that were working and did my sleep test were real nice and treated me well but I hope to not see them any time soon.
1-19-05 Jody left a message on my cell phone to call her to discuss taking me back to team meeting to discuss my next step in the program. Feeling excited and hating that by the time I received the message the office was closed and I would have to wait until tommorow. Went to my weekly weight watchers meeting tonight night also and lost another 1.7 this week. Still striving for that 385 magic number.
1-20-05 I talked with Jody today and we discussed everything that I have been doing as required on my compliance contract. I was told that since the ladies did not wake me up and hook me up to a breathing machine during my sleep test that it probably means good news. The only thing missing in my paperwork before the request for insurance approval could be sent in was a recent thyroid level test which I could easily provide since I recently had that test with another doctor completed.
1-21-05 I HAVE A SURGERY DATE..........My new life begins April 1st 2005
1-23-05 ***waiting*** I have been told that the insurance company must make a decision of yes or no with in 30 days but will usually let ya know something with in 10 business days. I hope it will be quicker than that. This waiting is difficult.
1-26-05 I saw Dr Kemp today at 10:30 for the results of my sleep test. Sigh.........bad news I stopped breathing 52 times during the evening mostly when I was on my back. I left feeling like I did not get much sleep at all but according to the test I fell asleep in 4 minutes. The maximum that he will allow the results to be is a 15 otherwise he recommends a machine to help with breathing and oxygen levels. My number was a 16.5 My insurance will cover the machine and the surgery date is still ok. He feels that my breathing and oxygen will be much better by then and I will do better during and after surgery and most likely will not need the machine after a few months. He is putting me on a special machine also that has some kind of card in it that will allow him to monitor what he needs with out me going back for another awful and dreaded sleep test so that made me feel a bit better and not so sad. Sigh.....I have to do what I have to do though. In the end it will all be worth it.
I called the insurance company today just to see if they have any answer yet. I more or less knew that the answer would be no decision yet but I have been told to push them a little and not let them forget who I am. The lady was a bit rude and quickly ended the call. I will try again in a couple of days and maybe I will get a more friendly person then. In truth it has been almost two years since the beginning so what's taking them so long.
2-2-05 When I got home from work yesterday I contacted Jody with the WLS center because I have heard rumor that BCBS of Georgia has decided to no longer pay for bariatric surgery. From what I understand this surgery has become very popular and starting 1-1-05 the surgery would no longer be covered if the company that is the insurance provider declines to purchase the new optional procedures. A lot of it also depends on when the company insurance provider last signed a yearly contract. I made contact with my provider and was told the contract was signed last November and after being on hold for 48 minutes I was finally able to talk to a person at BCBS who did not have an answer but promised to get back with me. It has now been almost 24hrs since that call and I really don't expect to hear from her.I called the center to see what the procedure would cost to have if I paid myself in full but I don't have a spare $21,900 hidden underneath a mattress and a loan is not an option for me. Jody called me back today and told me not to stress myself out and in her own words "we have a whole lot more hoops to jump through before we give up". She told me that because the new contract was signed before 1-1-05 and not after that most likely my plan still participates in this surgery as long as it is done before November. Needless to say I have been stressing out a lot lately. I so much wanted to go back to old ways and forget about needing to lose weight pre-surgery and attack the food cabinets. I just wanted to make the pain go away and I know in my mind it would not but my heart did not understand. I did attack the twinkie box and ended up eating three twinkies before I stopped myself and ended up crying more but in the old days I would of kept eating long after just three. Today I am not crying much but now instead I am mad. I have been doing to make this happen and poof in a minute is can all be over with with. I saw a movie a few years ago with Sandra Bulloch in it and she was so mad because of something that had happened at work and was taking her anger out on a punching/kicking exercise bag hanging from the ceiling and I think how great that would be if I could do that but I would end up breaking every bone in my body if I tried right now. I want to be strong after the surgery. I hate being weak. After talking with Jody today I do feel a bit better but won't feel full relief until I have a letter in hand stating that I have been fully approved.
2-8-05 I have been sick for the last few days and have not been on line much so never updated my profile. I received a copy of the bill mailed to the insurance company for my sleep test. I was shocked when I opened it, $2,193. I received a call from Stephanie from the Memorial bariatric center and was told that the insurance company has not denied nor approved the surgery but instead wants more information. Grrrrrrr, but better than a denial. I have to go back next Monday(21st) and take the 100 question computer test again and then talk with the male counselor that refered me to group counseling for my life issues. The insurance company is requesting a letter from him clearing me before they make a decision. He says he does not remember me real well so he request that I meet with him again before he writes the letter. I think it is odd and from what I have been told from Stephanie it is the first time an insurance company has requested this. If they want it done though I will be there. The first time ever that I spoke with Stephanie on the phone she was so nice and when I answered the phone she called me beautiful. Everyone is so great at Memorial Bariatrics.
2-17-05 Ok, now I feel real bad. I received a call from Stephanie with the bariatrics center today telling me that she is cancelling my appointment Monday for the re-test and with the physic doctor because it looks like my insurance BCBS is refusing to pay for the surgery because it is no longer a part of my company insurance plan and she does not want me to do anything until we know more. She tried calling the lady that is in charge of insurance for the business that I work for but she is on vacation until Monday. I am sooooooooooooo angry!!!!!!! I can not believe that BCBS would even think of saying no. It just does not make sense to me. I have so many medical problems that are only getting worse each year and it is not only costing me money but them too. I have sleep apnea now that was discovered recently and I know the testing and machine can't be cheap plus all the medications that I am on and adding news ones all the time can't be cheap either. I read about people on line all the time that their insurance company approved right away and they had half the medical problems that I have and were taking less medications. It just does not make sense to me and I wonder at times what they are smoking at the BCBS office to make them make these stupid decisions. I know that they talked about changing their policy and that they would not pay for this surgery anymore after 1-1-05 but what about us folks that have been with the program for months doing what needed to be done. It is really not fair and I am so angry!
2-18-05 9am I HAVE BEEN FULLY DENIED AND SURGERY HAS BEEN CANCELED. The company I work for signed the new contract 12-1-04 and the surgery is no longer part of our contract. BCBS will not budge. I was told it was a waste of time to mail the letter that I typed. If I want to have the surgery and pay for it myself Memorial will allow me to pay $11,000 down and then make montly payments of $250. I can handle the monthly payments but the down payment is not an option for me. I don't have that kind of cash stashed under my mattress and I don't think to many people do.
2-18-05 11am I received a call from the city administrator(Scott) asking about my situation that the clerk told him about. He is being very helpful, took my information, and promised that he would get back with me asap. He told me that we did sign a new contract on 12-1-04 but no changes were made and that according to the contract even if we did make changes that it does not matter because the whole process started before that date. He and the clerk are both interested in knowing what other things are on that exclusion plan. I feel a bit better and wonder if this is going to work out or not. I feel so stressed all the time.
2-25-04 Someone in Heaven loves me and I know I have an angel. I received a call from the head clerk at city hall this morning and an error was made some where during the signing of the new contract and we were not notified in writing that this and other procedures were going to be excluded. She has taken care of the problem and told me to have the surgery center re-submit the request and that there will not be a problem this time. I was crying by the end of the phone call. I contacted Stephanie with the surgery center and have been scheduled to come in next Monday and take the computer test and meet with the counselor that did my initial visit to get a clearance letter that I was previously set up for last week. I want this done before someone changes their mind again. Feeling so much better already. Wondering what my weight is now though. During my last week of down days I have resorted to bad habits and eaten lots of junk. I wonder how many calories there is in a whole bag of Easter malted milk balls. I just did not care and ate and ate plus I skipped my weight watchers meeting.I am fully back on the proper eating plan as of this minute and will get to the proper weight for surgery. I hope I can still get the same surgery date. I now have the hernia surgery to consider also and still hope it can be done at the same time. I will have to talk to the doctor Monday.I have an appointment this afternoon to pick up my CPAP machine. A mix up at the doctors office caused a delay in getting this also but things have worked out and insurance is paying 100%. I hate the idea of wearing it but I am really tired of being tired and know it will help. Thanks for all the support I have received recently. I appreciate everyone.
2-28-05 I met with Dr P today and took a 567 question computer test. He feels that I am doing much better and that group counseling is helping me a lot. He told me he will be glad to write my clearance letter to send with my file to BCBS with my packet to request approval. Jody weighed me and I did gain two pounds during my sad time when I thought I was not going to be able to have the surgery and I resorted to old habits.I also lost muscle which she is not too happy with either. She wants me to continue dieting and to lose at least 10 more pounds, take two multi vitamins each day to build up, start walking more, and to not stop at 10 pounds but to lose as much as possible before surgery. The hernia is no problem and will most likely be fixed during the weight loss sugery if it is approved. She told me that the date for 4-1-05 is still open but that she can't give me an actual date until I am approved. I hope it did not cause a problem when she gave me a date last time before I was approved. Maybe it caused confusion or some people got upset. I don't know what changed but I am ok with that. Hopefully insurance will approve this time right away and I can move forward to the next step. I am scheduled to be at the center on 3-16-05 to pay them the $625 fee that is required that insurance does not pay and to take the 4 hour class on exercise and nutrition.3-1-05 I AM A P P R O V E D !!!! I received a call from Stephanie this morning and have been approved other than $500 for the surgery and $625 for the nutrition class that is mandatory that I will take on the 16th. Doing the happy dance and feeling so much better already. I slept all night last night for the first time too with the CPAP machine since I am finally getting use to it and I feel better today. I still don't like it but I am using it like I am suppose to and am eager to see the benefits soon. Thanks to all my friends and family for supporting me especially in these last few extremely moody days when I thought it would not happen. Jody is supose to call me in a little while and give me a surgery date. The 1st was still open yesterday so hopefully that is still available and that will be it which means one month from today. My birthday is in a few weeks. What a great present this year.
3-1-05 Jody contacted me and gave me the new date 4-8-05 as a surgery date. I have pre-op on March 28th and see Dr K the CPAP machine doctor for a clearance on the 29th. It looks like everything is falling into place finally. I am a bit nervous as with any surgery but excited and ready.3-20-05 Not much going on lately so I have not updated much. Mostly just counting the days.19 to go now. I attended my nutrition class on the 16th and got my huge new food bible as they call it and a big bag of exercise cords for muscle strength training4-7-05...Oh my gosh.......it's finally here....it's tommorow.
4-13-05 I came home yesterday. I really miss my pain pump. I was converted to open from lap since there was too much scar tissue from a previous c-section. I did well in the hospital and it was not a big deal but the last two days at home have been ROUGH. I am doing well. I don't have a fever, no infection, and no other apparent issues. The staples and last tube comes out Monday afternoon which I totally dread.I hate cleaing the incision wounds each day and shake when I do it.It's not that it hurts a lot it just gives me the evie quives. Now I know why I don't work in the medical field. More when I feel better.
4-18-05 It's been a few days but have not felt like sitting in front of a computer. I felt bad when I woke up on the morning of my 8th day post op(Sat). I had a hard time taking a deep breath and had pain in the low part of my right lung area in my back. It never went away and since I have had pnemonia before I felt like I was getting it again so went to the local ER at 2pm and had a chest x-ray but all was clear so then they got concerned about a blood clot. I stayed in the ER having tests run until about 11pm that night and then was transfered to a room on the 4th floor(420) again to stay the night until another big test could be done the next morning. I was not allowed to get out of bed and had to be really still the rest of the night. It was a very long night. I was feeling great by then too because whatever was there had passed but they still had to be sure. Took the big test the next day about 1pm and all was fine, no blood clots. My surgeon came to see me and in a joking manner wanted to know what I missed so much that I wanted to come back. I told him the foot air pumps that feel so great and make you feel like your getting a foot massage 24/7. Saw my sleep apnea doctor also while I was there. They are both great doctors and have taken great care of me.
I had my staples out, no fun but not too painful just weird, while I was in the hospital for my second stay so just had to get the tube out today. It did hurt quite a bit like I was told but it was quick. I made sure to save some of my pain medication for today and that helped.
Had lots of friends and family call and visit me at home and in the hospital and want to say thanks to everyone. You made this so much easier for me. A special thanks to my angel Christen B. She has been a great friend and helped me through this lots. She brought me the cutest little angel figurine with the word healing on it. It is adorable and I will treasure it always.
I learned a lot about family and friendship during the last few days and have learned about the real ones that really care about me and the ones that fake it well.
I started the program in the fall and began at 421 pounds. When I weighed today I am now 380 and feeling great. I had to take some weight off before the surgery could be done to quailify and at my last weigh in before surgery I had made it down to 401. I was not weighed the morning of surgery so don't know exactly where I was at that point but not looking back anyway and only looking at the lower numbers now and like those that begin with 3 and aiming for a 2.4-22-05 I drove for the first time since surgery and went to a support meeting last night. It felt great to get out. I was worn out by the time I got home and needed to rest but it was fun to attend and see some of my friends. I did not arrive early enough to weigh so just still saying 41 lbs gone. I have a check up on May 2nd and will weigh then. The room was packed. Lots of new people that have heard that the surgery is now offered in Savannah. Talked with a few people that I know but none of my friends that I chat with on the phone and e-mail made it so was a bit sad about that but life happens. Feeling pretty well today. Itching in several places for some reason and not fond of that and don't know why but other wise doing great. Decided to take an extra week off work and not go back this Monday but wait until the next week. When they need something they have been calling me on the phone and so far I have been able to take care of it so might as well take the time and recover fully.Handling all foods and drinks and have not been sick once. No longer saying to myself crazy things like "did I do the right thing?" and "what the heck did I do to my body". I know I made the right choice. My future is very bright. My husband has been wonderful and very helpful and I want to thank him as well as my daughter. They have made this much easier for me.
5-2-05 It's been a little while since I last updated but I have not had much to post. Still home from work. I don't have a lot of energy and I am healing very slowly. The incisions from the lap tools are just now closing and the incision from the open is still wide open and healing extra slow. I hate cleaning all the incisions each day. The pain is pretty much gone but the incisions are creepy to look at and touch. Now I know why I never tried a career in the medical field. I have lost a lot of weight but not sure of the exact number. I have an appointment this afternoon and a support meeting this evening. I will weigh then and post the new numbers.
6-2-05 I am doing well. As of my last weigh in on may 19th I am down 65 pounds but I am sure it is more now. I will weigh again on June 16th at a support meeting. I am finally able to sleep in my bed again and gave my recliner a rest. I am also able to soak in the whirpool tub which I really love and really missed. I can not eat peanut butter and get sick quickly if I do but other than that I have not had any food problems. I still tend to eat too fast and did get sick a couple of times but old habits are hard to break and I am working on it so that is what counts. I am going to a big formal dance in early July that the weight loss center is hosting to celebrate one year of success and I will post a new picture from that night soon after.6-24-05 I am still doing well. I have been closet shopping and wearing a new or almost new outfit to work each day that was buried at the back of my closet. I am able to wear jeans again too. I have been attending the special fun meetings each month that we have created that meets at a persons house but did not attend the last two regular meetings at the hospital so I have not been weighed since May 19th. I do have an appointment for a 3 month check up on July 7th and will have an official weigh in number then and will post it. I estimate between 80 and 90 pounds.
I went with my family to the beach last Friday and today when I get off work at 3pm we are going to a water park that is about an hour away and staying until they close. I am trying to be active and catch up on all I missed in life the last 20 years. I was hanging log cabin wall paper in my living room prior to surgery but kept hurting my back or hip and never got it finished but in the last couple of days my daughter and I have been working on it and will have it done by the weekend. I can't say that I have the level of energy that the doctor says I will have by now but I do feel better. I still have a lot to lose so I expect that will come with time. I have no regrets to surgery and would do it again.
I have to wait until I am a year or so post op at least but my husband and I really want to try to have another child. I could not get pregnant at my weight but hopefully we won't have that problem now though my age is starting to become an issue since I am quickly knocking on the door of 40.
I could not find a formal dress that I liked at a price that I was willing to pay for the dance plus I am 6'1 and none of them were not long enough so I decided to wear a red one that was custom made for me for my sisters wedding in 1998. It fits well again and after being cleaned it looks great. I will post a picture after the dance if them come out ok and maybe one wearing jeans again too.I am no longer snoring at all and not using the CPAP machine. I have an appointment with that doctor on July 7th also and plan to do whatever it takes to be released from that machine and turn it back in. I have hated that thing from the beginning.
7-8-05 Dr.Kemp has now officially released from the CPAP breathing machine and I plan to never have it return to my life. Hubby says I no longer snore at all and now he stays in the bed all night instead of me finding him in the recliner each morning. 8-4-05 I had a doctors appointment this morning with my regular pcp to have blood drawn to check vitamin levels, blood pressure, thyroid levels, and cholestrol. He told me to come back in a month or so and that he would probably take me off my blood pressure medication though he suggested it today but I missed a couple of pills a few days ago and ended up with a real bad headache so I don't think it is low enough yet. My weight was checked and I am now at 324 lbs from 421 lbs. I am 3 months and 3 weeks post op and down 97 pounds. Still feeling great.
8-8-05 I am 4 months post op and down 102 pounds. I only need to lose a few more pounds and I will officially weigh what my drivers license has said I have weighed for years.
9-15-05 I reached 101 pounds lost when I was 3 months and 3 weeks post op and then I hit a plateau and have been on it for weeks. I finally broke down and bought a scale a few days ago instead of going by the doctors office all the time. I weighed this morning and am very happy to say that I finally broke the plateau. I am now down to 313.8 which makes my weight loss 107.2 at 5 months and 7 days post op. I have 143.8 to go to be at my goal weight. On a regular diet I would of quit about the second week of the plateau and gained back all I had lost.10-4-05 I went to the baratric center yesterday afternoon for my 6 month check up. I took the whole day off work and went shopping first and spent well needed time on me. I was feeling great when I arrived but depressed when I left. I had to see a PA that I never met before because Jody the regular PA hurt her neck recently and was on the way to the doctor but I was ok with that. I was weighed, measured, BP checked, oxygen level checked, etc.... and then talked to by the new PA. She really hurt my feelings. I have lost 112 lbs in 6 months and thought that was great but apparently she did not think it was enough. I told her about the 5 week plateau when I stayed at the exact same weight but that did not seem to matter. I was told I also lost 1.5 lbs of muscle and she questioned me about exercise. I told her freely that once it got colder and we closed the pool that no I had not been doing too much. I have lost a lot of weight but I am still over 300 lbs and I have to be so careful because I can easily knock my back or hip out of line again and be in pain for days and I can't afford to take any more time off work since I used all my vacation and personal time while out having the surgery and now it would be with out pay which I can not afford. I do mostly walking for exercise for now but that was not good enough and I need to do more. She fussed and told me I need to drink more water also. She recently transfered from an OB/GYN office and kept pushing for me to try a new birth control called the ring even though I am perfectly fine with the shot that I currently take that the other PA insisted on before the surgery. I told her I would be getting off of it in about 6 months anyway to try and have a second baby before I am too old. She was not happy about that either but I reminded her that I was told I must wait one year post op before trying. She pushed for two years from the current date but that will put me way over 40 and my hubby even older. I felt so happy when I arrived and was happy with what I have accompolished but felt so lousy when I left. She burst every bubble I was soaring in. I don't have another appointment until April 2006 for my one year check up. Hopefully I will see someone else that time.
10-5-05 Today is my work anniversary celebrating 20 years. I started at 18 years old right out of high school as a police dispatcher and worked my way up. I am now the department TAC in charge of communications which means very little to most people but basically it's the highest rank I can achieve with out being an officer, detective, or the chief. None of which I am interested in. My mom sent me some pink and purple flowers(favorite colors) in a vase with a congratulations balloon.10-17-05 I am at 306 now which makes my weight loss 115 pounds. I am just a little bit over 6 months post op. The weight is coming off much slower now but like I said before a number down is always better than a number up, well unless it's my checking account it is.11-10-05 118 lbs gone and 134 to go to reach my main goal. My current weight is 303 so only 4 pounds to lose and I will have reached my first goal and I can officially say I weigh under 300 lbs.12-30-05 2006 is almost here, it does not seem possible. This year has really went by so fast. My family came to my house this year for the Christmas holidays. We had a nice time.
We were not able to have a regular "fun" baratric meeting this month because the lady hosting was in a car accident but we made quick plans to meet at a local coffee shop for a couple of hours like we did in the past. We had a nice turn out and it was so great to see everyone again. I am still wearing the 5x and 6x pants that I started out in with hair clips tied on the side holding them up and my friends ordered me to get new clothing.2-17-06 I am doing fine. I have not updated in a while but all is well. I am 94 pounds from my goal and have now lost 128 pounds. I started at 421 lbs. I have hit another plateau and have been at the same weight for a few weeks now. I am still very interested in trying to have a second child and am just waiting on April to get a letter of clearance from my surgery doctor to give to my infertility doctor since I will then be one year post op. The surgery center advises at least one year post op but would rather it be two years but I will be 39 years old in a few weeks so I want to start trying soon before I get too old. I am hoping that with the weight loss I won't need the assistance of my previous infertility doctor that I was seeing before WLS. 4-8-06 I am officially one year post op today. I have lost 130lbs. I took pictures of myself today and will get them posted soon. I still have about 90 to 100 lbs to lose but I know that I will be a success. I started at 421 lbs and I am 6'1.4-18-06 I am doing ok. After my one year post op check up I went back to the basics. I did really well the first 8 months or so but then it slowed way down. I need to get it moving again. My PA Jody advised that a baby would have to wait even with my advanced maternal age(39 now). She wants me to take off at least 50 more pounds and be 18 months post op rather than 12 months before I start trying. I can deal with that. My hair started falling out a quite a bit about 2 months ago and I began drinking ensure protein drinks to help with that. It did make my hair come back but it turns out that those drinks are very very high in calories and not what a bariatric patient needs. Jody thinks my weight loss will speed up when I get off those and also now that the pool is uncovered and I will be getting more exercise as soon as it warms up. We are once again having a bariatric formal dinner/dance in July. I am really looking forward to that.
9-8-06 Hello friends....wow has it really been that long since I updated my profile.......times goes so fast.
I am doing fine. I have hit a major plateau(spelling) and I am still about 279 lbs with about 80 to lose to reach my goal. I am happy where I am at and if I never lose another pound I will deal with it because I have a life again but I really still want to reach my goal. My hubby and I still want to have another baby too and I will be 18 months post op in October and we are going to start trying. I wanted to wait until I reach my goal but I will be 40 in March and don't want to wait any longer because of my age. I still carry most of my weight in my lower half. My upper half has done great and I can wear the same size shirt as my 15 year old daughter. If my hubby does laundry she and I always have to hunt for clothing because he is not sure who it belongs to when he puts it away. I don't fuss though because any hubby that does laundry is a good hubby.
I have become more agressive, bold, and confident after surgery. It is ok most of the time but has caused some issues at work because my co-workers don't like the new me that never use to say no but does a lot now.
I still get cold a lot and have issues with keeping warm. I have been told my body will adjust in time. All my vitamin levels are ok and I have had a Dextra bone scan which came out fine as well so I am getting enough calcium. I take extra vitamins each day as well as two prenatal vitamins just in case we are blessed soon. October 8th I will be 18 months post op and that is my magic baby making number with or with out the blessing of the surgeron. I don't want to be so old that I have a stroller in one hand and a walking cane in the other.
2-18-07 Hello again all......I am doing great. I can't believe it's been that long since I last posted.
I have not reached my goal and basically had just been maintaining all these months. I can't say I was fully happy about not losing more but as long as I was staying with in a pound or two of the same weight I was ok but then I started putting back on a few pounds and I am determined that is not going to happen. I know it sounds weird after having gastric bypass but I joined Weight Watchers on 2-7-07 to help me lose the rest. I need more structure and I need to weigh in each week and be accountable for what I am eating. I lost 7.8 pounds this week so I think that was the answer. I have 100 lbs to go to reach my goal of 199 (6'1 plus at least 20 pounds of skin, yuck).
I still feel great and would do the surgery again right now. I have no regrets and WW this time seems much easier.I still keep the less formal group organized and love doing that. Life has been good. I am taking another cruise in April. I like the Alaska cruises better mainly because of the clothing required. This upcoming cruise is in April and we are going to Jamica & the Grand Caymen Islands so I know shorts and swimsuits will be best but I am dealing with some major skin issues and hate that type of clothing. Plastic surgery is in my future when the funds become available and after a pregnancy if I am blessed. Still no luck getting pregnant but I am dealing with it and hoping that when I get more weight off it will happen. I am a success!!
4-24-07 It's been a while again but I am still around. The Weight Watchers meetings helped while I attended but I ended up not returning after about 3 weeks and the weight I lost I put back on and once again I am maintaining. I had gotten down to around 279 again but I am now up again. I don't like it but my body seems happy between 290 and 299. I would still like to be 199 and hope to one day. The pregnancy news is not good though I will never give up. My hubby and I are working with an infertility specialist now that I have received a medical letter of clearance from my WLS center but it is going to be costly and we will need medications and procedures to try for a pregnancy. We have been told this is probably the only way that it will happen due to our issues. We have more testing to do in May but hopefully in June we can try with the meds and the first procedure. I spend a lot of time depressed because of this and I know it's wrong but bad eating habits have returned. A binge now is defintely not like a binge use to be before surgery but I know I am eating too many calories a day. I always thought it was the weight that was keeping me from getting pregnant and it's hard to deal with now that I know it's other issues and that there is a great possibility that it will not happen.
The cruise was ok but not great. I still love the two Alaska cruises that we have taken in the past much better. I would not recommend Jamaica but the Grand Caymen was nice other than 7 ships arrived the same day and over loaded the tourist areas. I still like the cruises to cool areas better because I did hate being in shorts and swim suits and let the looks of others bother me.
The yearly baratric formal dinner/dance will be in August this year. I will post some pictures from that so you can see a recent one. I don't think of myself as a failure but I do hope I can have the baby I want and still reach my goal one day.5-28-07 It took me a while to copy and paste the important words from my old profile to my new one but I was finally able to get it completed today and even the pictures transfered too so I am happy. I am still in the dark ages and don't do well with modern electronics such as computers so I was pleased that it worked. I had my two year check up a few weeks ago. The PA, Jody, was not too pleased with my current weight though she was not mean and does not have a mean bone in her body like the PA that I met with at my 6 month check up. We talked for a while and I was always under the impression pre surgery that I would get sick and dump if I ate the wrong foods or too much but that almost always never happens with me and in only about 20% of patients does this happen is what she advised. She thinks that I need some counseling to get over some depression and anger issues or I probably will never reach my goal weight. I contacted Nissa who now has her own counseling center and because she had the same surgery she understands but the fee is $50 a session and right now we are spending every extra dollar on the infertility doctor for expensive treatments and medications. I turned 40 last March and hubby is older than I am so we are about out of time for trying to have another child and right now we feel that is more important than counseling. Nissa has told me the money does not matter and to come see her but that is her job and income and I don't feel right doing that. The less formal support group is still going well and everyone loves me being the one that keeps it organized because I have great skills for that. We meet once a month at a coffee shop and once a month at a residence. I have so many friends now and cherish all of them. My daughter now babysits for the kids of one of my new baratric friends so she is happy with her new income. We support each other and I feel like they are extended family and not just friends. I spend a lot of time on the post-op-pregnancy forum and especially the TTC (trying to conceive) post and have made some friends there also that understand what I am going through. I will begin taking infertility medications in early June and we will try the first procedure in mid June. My weight is still too high and I hope to get to my goal one day. I know it can be done after joining Weight Watchers again a few months back and losing. I just need to take control and eat right plus get rid of all the soda in my life. I still get full real quick so I know that I have not stretched out the pouch but I know that I am still eating too many meals each day even if they are small meals. If I remember right the lowest weight I was able to get to was 279 and I am currently at 303 from my pre surgery weight of 421 so now I have lost a total of 118 and gained back 24 lbs if I am adding right. It was much nicer to say I have lost 142 pounds and I hope to be able to say that again soon. The baratric center is having another annual gala formal dinner/dance. This year it is going to be in August rather than July. We are taking our daughter this year and we always have fun and are already looking forward to it. The baratric center has now completed over 400 surgeries so the gala should have lots more people and it will be great to meet them. There was a big conference here back in early spring and the director contacted me and wanted to know if I would be a speaker at the booth for the hospital but I did not feel comfortable since I did not reach my goal. The lady that gave me such a difficult time at my 6 month check up was actually the one that ask me. I still don't have fond feelings for her and was glad to hear that she left the center about 3 weeks ago. Not much else new for now. I will try to post some new pictures after the gala this year. Reading back upon all I went through to have this surgery while transfering to the new profile has made me want to get back to doing what I need to do and I hope to be able to post a new weight loss number soon.
8-9-07Still around though I don't update as much. I continued to gain weight though it was at a slower pace than it was pre- WLS but I did not like it and one day want to reach my goal. I still am TTC but have had no baby success so far even with the help of fertility treatments and medications and I spend a lot of time angry, sad, and depressed. I decided to join Weight Watchers again and did so on 8-1-07. I know it sounds weird to do that after WLS but I need the structure and weekly weigh in that they offer. I can't follow the program fully but close enough. I have done well so far and lost 9 lbs the first week so I know I can still lose. My goal is still 199 being I am 6'1 and my starting weight was 318 on the 1st so I gained back quite a bit though never again will I see that 421 pre-surgery weight no matter what. I had 119 to lose to reach that goal and now I have 110 so I feel happier about that. If I can see a positive pregnancy test before I become so old that I have a walking cane in one hand and a baby stroller in the other I will be even happier. Other than that not much new my way. The gala formal dinner dance is in a couple more weeks and I will post some new phots from that afterwards. Still no regrets about surgery and I would do it again tomorrow if necessary.
10-6-07I'm still around and still around the same weight as my August posting. I have made the effort to eat right and exercise again several times but I don't stick with it. I looked into adoption after 4 months and $19,000 worth of infertility treatments did not work but it looks like we are too old from what I have been told( I am 40 & hubby is a little older). We have been married 17 years and have a great 16 year old daughter. We have a house that we almost own fully with lots of room and we have the love to share but it looks like it won't happen. We will never give up trying to have another child but it does not look good by a natural pregnancy nor adoption. I still spend most of my time depressed and either crying or angry or both. I tried counseling for a while but even that did not help. My heart is hurting so much. I just want another child to love and I really don't thin that is too much to ask. I am so angry that I can not get pregnant again and have returned to horrible eating habits and I take my anger and revenge out on food. I always thought that the reason that I could not get pregnant again was because I was overweight and that it would happen so easy after the weight loss but when that did not happen I hit rock bottom and I hit hard and fast. I have a horrible attitude and in my mind don't care if I gain back all the weight because I only lost it for a baby and because that did not happen I no longer care though. In my heart I feel different but I can't get my heart and brain to work together. I want to be a WLS success but I don't know how to feel happy about it anymore to reach my goal. I gained some back but I still have at least a 100 pound loss on my side. I float between 305 and 315 most of the time now. I am 6'1 and my goal is 199 pounds. When I was finally able to get pregnant with my first daughter it was due to a big weight loss with Weight Watchers and I was about 270 or 280 lbs which my counselor called my magic number. When I was at that weight this time and it did not work I became devestated. The counselor did give good advice related to that though and asked me what I thought about giving up too early because now that I am older mabye my magic number is 210 instead. I really thought about this a lot and have tried to do better lately with eating and exercising but it's not easy like it was in the beginning and every where I go it seems there is a newborn or pregnant lady and I lose it and get upset then eat again. I am not putting those down with a drug or alcohol addiction because all addictions are so hard to over come but at least with that you can avoid places that offer those items but in my case kids, pregnant bellies, and babies are every where and I can't avoid them. I fully admit that I am a mess. I still have no regrets about having the surgery and feel happy that I am still 100 pounds less I just think that many surgery centers should make mandatory counseling part of their program before the surgery. I had the surgery for the wrong reason and maybe I would of done better with my weight loss if I had it for the right reason.
I am to this day trying to believe in miracles and hoping for a weight of 199 lbs and a bundle of love to hold in my arms. 11-2-07 ...I will make this short, sweet and simple. I am still around and still struggling. I am still fat, eating foods that I should not, I cry a lot, I have turned into a very angry person, and I am not pregnant still. I have run out of cash and can not return to the infertility clinic for more treatments. We have tried adoption but it does not look good. I hear all the time about how desperate they are for good homes for foster and adoptive kids but they don't seem to want us and think we are too old. I don't understand why God put such a huge mothering instinct in me and then only blessed me with one child. I have returned to bad eating habits out of anger and no longer even try to lose the rest of the weight. I don't regreat the surgery and though I have gained about 40 lbs I am still down about 110 pounds. My main reason for having the surgery was to lose weight so I could become pregnant and when that did not happen I lost all control and I am having difficult time getting control again. The only thing that I still do that is positive is to attend support group WLS meetings each month. I tried private counseling but due to cost and such it did not work for me.
My final words for this post is that the surgery is great but make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. I so much want to be positive again with every thing but I have lost touch and I don't know how.
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3-1-08 I am still around. I spend most of my time on the post-op pregnancy board and the Georgia board. I look back on the above photos above and feel sad about the weight gain. The most recent post above honestly tells about me fully and I am in about the same situation as the Nov 2007 post. I am still fat, I am still not pregnant, I still am depressed, still angry, I still eat the wrong things, I still don't regret the surgery and am happy that I still have at least 100 weight loss on the plus side. We don't have the money needed to return to the infertility clinic for more treatments. I will be 41 years old in 23 days and that is very upsetting. We did try the adoption/foster care route and have made progress. We completed all required classes and task and trust me there was many of them. Our home study is complete and should be submitted any day now for approval but we have been told that a baby will be a long wait unless we want one with major medical issues. We can also adopt an older child but our heart is set on a baby. I have not returned to the counselor and just don't think that I am ready for that. I did buy several books on infertility and have learned a lot, not so much about the actual infertility treatments but rather the issues, stress, and depression that it can cause and ways to over come this.
My 3 year surgery anniversary is in 38 days and I currently weigh about 305. I started the WLS process at 421 lbs and had gotten down to about 279 with a goal of 199 since I am so tall. I am not losing but my body is not gaining anymore and seems to be settled at this weight. I get real serious for a while, try hard to eat right again, and to exercise but then some issue comes up and I just give up again. I have not "ruined" and "stretched" my pouch as some say because I still can not eat a lot at one time but instead I just seem to eat all the time and nibble on something every hour & those calories add up plus I have returned to a horrible old habit and drink several cans of real coke classic, not diet, each day. I fully admit that I am a coke classic addict! I am a stress eater. I eat because of infertility stress, work stress, infertility bills stress, etc...I don't know how to take control and to stop for more than a few days at a time. I still faithfully attend the monthly support meeting the third Thursday of each month and I really enjoy it but in a positive way that is the only thing that I am doing correctly. I may not post a lot but I do lurk and read a lot. Just as before surgery is great, just make sure that your having it for the right reason.
About Me
Before & After
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