babynurseheather

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to get more active!  Joined the gym with my bestie, but still have the goal of going twice a week (to start) whether or not she and I can connect to go together.  I'm excited to learn the weights so I can really start to tone up!  I weigh 173 now, wearing size 10-12 and medium tops.  It's amazing!  I'm hoping to get a bit smaller thru working out, but am so happy to be so much healthier! 

Had my six month visit the other day with the NP....happy to report my BMI is under 30, and I'm doing "well".  Excess skin does not seem to be too much of an issue at this point, but we'll see.  I need to get better about exercising.  It's going to be imperative that I add that component, and it's time to stop procrastinating and JUST DO IT! :)  Since my first meeting with Dr. Gitkind, I have lost a total of 98 pounds.  It doesn't seem possible!  I am so happy that I had this surgery, it has made such a difference in my life!

Just have to share my joy that I weigh 298.5 today!  I'm so excited!!!  Also got a great compliment last night from a friend I haven't seen in a couple of years telling me I was looking "smokin' hot" :) 

So, I stopped today at a store to look for a pair of black capris to wear to a party this week.  I knew I had a cute blouse, just not any pants in the right size.  I picked up a 14 from the rack, just to see how close I was.....AND THEY FIT!!!!!!  I can't believe I fit in a size 14!  I'm so very, very excited!!! 

I am also going to upload a pic of me wearing my "Muggle" tee shirt.  I took my kids to Boston pre-surgery to see the Harry Potter exhibit.  My daughters and I all bought the same maroon shirt that declares us "Muggles"....and the plan was for me to be able to wear it "someday."  Well, it's on my body TODAY!     (if there were an emoticon shooting firecrackers out of its butt, it would be here instead of the pink jumpy guy....but it's close enough to show how I feel!)

I have had a lot of days recently when nausea has been an issue, and I wonder when it will get better....and then I see that I am getting so much closer to reaching my goals of being healthy and happy with my body, and I have the strength to continue on! 

So, according the the goal I initally set for myself, I am halfway there today!  I'm thinking, though, that a weight of 180 will still put me on the higher end of the scale....so we'll see where I land!

Going to join the gym this week.....it's time and I need to put more work into this!  I want to be toned, and that's the only way it's going to happen.

Off to Water Country with the kids today.  For the first time in a long time, I won't feel nearly as self conscious about me in a bathing suit!

So, I walked into the bedroom the other day and said to my very supportive BF, "So, how much do you think I weigh now?"  He said, "Um, maybe 230?", and I was delighted to tell him, "Try, 223.5!"  He had the best response of all, which was, "That's great, Baby!  You weigh less than I do now!"  I couldn't wrap my head around that!  I have mostly dated "big" guys, don't know if that was the luck of the draw, or subconciously because I didn't want to weigh more than my significant other.  My BF, Dan, is not heavy.  He's 6'4" and has a size 34 waist.  I have weighed more than him the whole time we have known each other, and it was an issue for me, not for him.  BUT....to know that I now weigh less than him, someone who is a "normal" weight for his height, is amazing. 

I've lost about 45 lbs. now.  I can't believe it.  And when I think that my highest weight was 283, that's even more staggering.  That would mean I've lost about 60 lbs. since my heaviest weight!  Shocking!  Now I know I just have to get motivated to get exercising, so that I can tone and strengthen.  I have been around 220 before, and was in a size smaller.  I was exercising regularly then.  Clearly, I need to get back in the habit!

It is nice that people notice all the time now.  I still don't see much of a difference, but since I had a really schewed view of what I looked like at my heaviest, I'm not surprised that I still don't know how I "truly" look.  I am waiting for the cries of, "You're getting too thin!" to start in the next few months.  The girls at work have already said, "Don't get too skinny!"  That is not my goal.  My goal is to be a healthy BMI, not to become a stick.

So, just thought I'd share my happiness right now!  I"m very proud of the job I'm doing, and am excited by the prospect of my increasing health! I would recommend this to anyone who is obese and looking for an answer!

Can't remember the last time I weighed under 230....it might have been 7 years ago or so when I went on Atkins to lose weight for my wedding.....and promptly put the weight right back on!  And I'm so excited knowing that I will continue to lose....and that I'm well on my way to reaching my goal! :)

Ok, so maybe not the first...that was to make it thru surgery without having a complete meltdown! But I wanted to be 30 lbs. less before returning to work (seemed reasonable...) and today my scale tells me that it has happened! :)  Yippee!

All I can say is, Wow!  I"m so glad that  is over!!!  I was a complete bundle of nerves...and I usually consider myself to be cool as a cucumber!  Not when faced with major, elective surgery, my friends!

Got the the hospital and did the initial paperwork.  My boyfriend stayed with me, and even then, I had to tell myself that I was prolly the youngest person going into the OR that day...and to calm down!  They wheeled me upstairs by myself, and my Honey was left to the waiting room for several long hours.  I met my anesthesia team, had my IV started and a promise for something to "calm me down" after I spoke with my surgeon that morning.  I know it was cheesy, but when Dr. Czerniach came in, I shook his hand and said, "There's the man who's going to help me change my life!"  There was a paramedic student there who needed to learn intubation, and since I had the youngest airway there....I agreed to let her come in the OR and to do my intubation.  (subsequently, she must have done a good job because I didn't have a sore throat or anything!)  I also met my OR nurses.  When all was ready, the CRNA (nurse anesthetist) gave me a shot of Versed which I felt very quickly.  I didn't even have time to be worried about going to the OR.  I remember getting on the table, getting settled, and before anything else, I had the O2 mask  on my face and the CRNA was asking me to take a few good, slow breaths.  That was it.  I have to admit, since things didn't happen in the order I expected (leg strap, bovi pad, catheter....), I didn't even think about the fact that I was getting the anesthesia so quickly!

I don't remember a thing about recovery.  I think maybe I remember someone telling me once that I was "all done"...but that's it.  I don't even remember being wheeled up to my room.  I don't know when my surgery was finished, and I certainly didn't have any pain.  They must have wanted to keep an eye on me because I was right outside of the nurses' station.

I had a PCA (pt. controlled analgesia) with morphine, and knew when to hit the button.  The most uncomfortable thing was a pain on my right side, and eventually, I had to stand at the side of the bed and take a small walk to the bathroom to get the pain to abate.  BTW, walking to the bathroom was not fun, and I was hit with a wave a nausea, quickly followed by fear about throwing up with my newly stapled up stomach.  The nausea passed once I was back in bed.  My family and a friend from work came up to check on me, and apparently I was able to hold a conversation, but was very tired and feel asleep quickly.  I remember them coming to visit, and I remember being really, really sleepy!  

The second day, we started the water, which went down fine with no nausea.  I got moved to a different room, and had a new roomate who was in to have her excess belly removed as she had had her RNY two years ago.  She told me that it was the best thing she had ever done for herself, and her only regret was that she didn't do it earlier.  I had a slight fever that night, and again with the gassy pains that required me to get up and walk to make them go away.  I made it my mission to be out of bed and walking as much as possible, even though I was still so tired.  The staff at UMass, btw, was excellent.  Can't say enough good things about them!  Every person who came in to help was wonderful (and coming from a picky nurse....that says alot!) 

The third day I started broth and Carnation Instant Breakfast.  It was fine.  My IV was off, I was on percocet for pain, and moving pretty well, considering.  I was just waiting to have the JP drain removed....and was glad when that was done!  What a weird sensation!    Not painful, just really.........funky.  Then we headed home!

My weight when I got home was 272.  I knew 4 pounds of excess fluid was not unusual.  I took it easy, sipped, napped and took my percocet as needed.  I have done pretty well keeping up with the fluids, although for the first few days, nap time got the schedule a bit off....Another thing....use your Incentive Spirometer (breathing tool) they give you at the hospital even when you get home!  I started with a slight fever again, and knew it was because I was not coughing and deep breathing.  I did not want to end up re-admitted with pneumonia because I wasn't doing my part. A good 12 hours of using it and making myself cough and deep breathe did the trick :)

The CIB isn't bad.  But what I didn't expect was to have food smell so good!  The head hunger is obviously there!  I don't have any appetite, but smelling spaghetti or even a stupid grilled cheese sandwich......yum!  I'm going to try to smell the food and think of them as Yankee Candles ....delicious to smell, but you don't want to eat them!  I don't feel like my eating life is "over"....I really know that in time, I will (probably) be able to eat many of the foods I enjoy....and it will be in reasonable portions.  I do look forward to this time to work on my thinking about food as a way to live....not living to eat.  I don't want all of this to be for naught...

I have been feeling better.  So much so, that I've been doing too much....packing a cooler and gallivanting with my friend.  I hate sitting still.  I hate not being able to lift over 10 lbs.  I need to slow down as yesterday I was a bit light headed on and off (clearly my body saying...."slow down, girl!!! you just had surgery!!!")    I've got plenty of time to get out and about, right now I need to focus on healing!!!

So, my starting weight:  268
My weight today:  254.5
total time:  One week and two days post surgical 

Thank you all for your kind thoughts!!! I appreciate them!!!!

Heather!

Had my crying fit tonight....between getting about three hours of sleep and being worried so much about the "unknown"....I had myself a good little meltdown.  Caught a few more hours of sleep, got up and took my second 'prep' shower, and am getting ready to leave for the hosptial in about 45 minutes. 

I am strong enough to change.  I am good enough to deserve to change.  I want my outside appearance to match my inside....and be beautiful through and through.  My kids need a healthy mama.  I need a happy, healthy me.  I can do this!

Talk to you all in a few days!

Heather