babytamtam
I have not been overweight my whole life. Ever since I had my son I weight has just gone up higher and higher ever month. I have tried all the fad diets and none of them worked. If they did I gained all my weight back. I tried eating healthy but I honestly I love food. I did it cause I had to but I was truly miserable.
I have been looking at weight loss surgery for a few years but I could never afford it. I finally have a job that I enoy and that has great benefits! They will pay completly for the surgery! I am going to jump on it before they say no. From what I can tell they don't require as much pre qualifiers as most insurances so I am starting a.s.a.p.
I have a new dr. I am meeting with in 2 weeks. I am soooo excited! I can't wait to start the process and begin my new life all over again. I moved to AZ 2 years ago due to my boyfriends job but all my family and close friends live in FL. I have decided to have my surgery in FL. so I can have a support system till I am able to return to work. I figure it's to hard on my boyfriend to take care of me and work. I plan on doing everything I need to here and then flying to FL for my surgery.
I am hoping to meet some new friends here and hopefully have an online support system to turn to. I actually found this site trying to get feedback on dr. Since I am not in the state anymore I have no way of meeting the dr.'s and interviewing who I want to choose. My insurance offers 18 dr's all over the state I can use and I am trying to figure out the best one for me. So if anyone else has Cigna or knows the dr's on my list please let me know. I have tried explaining the surgery and the process to my friends and family. They barely seem to understand what I'm going through and the keep telling me that I dont' need it.
It's pretty sad when your son says, "Mom please don't drop me off at the front cause I don't want my friends to see that your fat! " That was personally my last straw! As my weight was gaining everymonth I started to get lazy and slow. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I always want to nap cause I barely sleep at night cause I toss and turn 100 times. I take more blood pressure medicine than my day who's been taking it for 30 years! My list goes on and on like I'm sure every one elses does.
Normally I look at myself in the mirror and I'm ok with the way I look. I have been a confident person and I have never cared how others saw me. I have always been comfortable in my own skin and the woman that I am. I came to grips about being a big girl a long time ago. Recently I look in the mirror and I don't see myself the same anymore. My weight seems to be getting the best of me! I look at myself in pictures with my friends and I am sad. I am 2-3 times bigger than them! Don't even get me started at looking at myself sideways in the mirror! I literally want to barf looking at myself! My personality has changed I'm still the crazy, funny one that everyone loves; but when I'm alone I feel so ashamed of myself for letting myself get this far and it anger me.
I know that I am the only one who can change my life! I want to look like I feel. I am taking the first steps to a new and healthier me and I thank you all in advance for watching my journey!
