Barbie Otter

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November 23rd 2012.  I'm 7 weeks post op from my tummy tuck!  Was it worth it?  Not quite sure yet.  Recovery I've been told is 6 months.  Wow!  Weight is 186lb and has been for a year.  I'm a size 13, and will be smaller once the swelling goes down.  I keep myself at this weight because of fear.  I know this, but still can't stop myself, or let myself lose anymore weight.  

May weather is great...I am great even at 194.....I say HELLO to the my world.....HEEEELLLLOOOOOO...  lol

So its January 23rd and here I sit, reflecting back of the voices in my head that have been hounding me this last week.
I do realize in reality that I FEEL GREAT!
EVERDAY I HEAR ABOUT HOW GOOD I LOOK!
MY ENERGY LEVEL IS THRU THE ROOF!

But on Monday after my shower I actually took a good hard look at myself in the mirror....Was my worst mistake...EVER!

I can not believe the amount of loose skin.

The stomach thing I have seen before....having had it for 20 years...but come on....where did the heck has my ass gone?
and how did that elephant skin get on there?

At this rate I will need full body contouring!!!!     I am finding this very hard to deal with....and I just being vain?  Am I feeling sorry for myself?  Should I just be extremely grateful for my health.....?

Is there a miracle cream out there I can soak in...to help regenerate my lifeless skin?  Please let the light shine down on me.....if there is!!!   lmao

Moral of the story?  Anyone?  Hello?  Anyone?

hey so back in ontario  surgery was ok...I dont remember it at all!    but i sure remember the pain when i woke up.   lol 

So nine days before surgery..and I find I am highly emotional....WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?  Has anyone else deemed themself nuts just before going under the knife...or am I an oddball?  lol

My friend died on Friday, her name was Tammy.  She was the same age as me, 43.
A blood clot moved after the successful removal of a cancerous tumor from her face, and she is gone.
And I was blowing off listening to the orders about using the blood thinners after I have my surgery which of
course is scheduled a month from now.  Is this a warning, or just time and unforeseen circumstances?

Hey, just a note to say I really don't understand men.......I am manager of a Bar/Pub, and all the regulars who come in, don't want me to have surgery....WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?  lol  I guess its my fault for being excited and letting the cat out of the bag so to speak.    It seems that only thing that makes them stop nagging me about it, is the Ultimate statement..."HERE LET ME TAKE THAT FULL BEER FROM YOU, YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH!! "  LOL  I love power....just kidding....has anyone else had this happen to them before surgery....drop me a line!  

Thanks Barbie