bobbalooie5169
vision problems
Mar 11, 2008
i am typong this with one finger and a magnifying glass, so please forgive the lack of upper case letters. i am not that good.
keep on losing...i will need some haooy news when i return-and i will return!
I've got the blues...
Mar 02, 2008
I sure hope that's right and I sure hope it doesn't last long.I have been battling it something fierce! First of all, winter seems never-ending this year and I am so sick of snow I could just scream!
Everytime the snow almost melts, we hit again with more of the fluffy white obnoxious stuff and I feel like I am a prisoner in my own house. Since I wear the specially made orthopedic shoes and brace, there are no boots that fit me and I have this balance issue anyway, so ice and snow are not my friend.
Then there's the expected, but not very welcome, "five week stall" in my weight loss.
I am not a happy camper!
I have decided to quit weighing myself, but I know I won't stick to that one. I am blaming winter and the fact that I can't get outside to walk. But yesterday I did take my big ol' walker and walked down to my mother's house, where my oldest son is living now. There is much sorting and clearing out of my mother's posessions to do and I haven't felt much like doing it until now. Mom has been gone almost six months now, so I need to get busy. After walking the half block down there, working for a few hours, and walking home again, I had the most painful feet you can imagine! The nicest part of that whole deal was that I got to spend some quality time with Sadie, my son's black lab. Dogs are so good for lifting your spirits. Sadie thinks I'm great no matter what!But the most depressing thing is that at age 57, most of my friends are also losing their parents. In the last three weeks, three friends have lost a parent and one lost her 53 year old sister. I spent last Mondy at the funeral of my pal, Patty's, mother, who was also my next door neighbor for many years. It was like going to my own mom's funeral all over again! Very sad. Now tonight I got a call from my cousin asking me which option I had signed for Mom's "end of life care." It seems that my aunt is dying.
Mom's baby sister who she loved more than anything(except for me and dad, maybe) Aunt Val has always been my "back-up" mom. When I was very small, Mom taught me out phone number and then Aunt Val's phone number as my emergency back-up number. That number has never changed and I still have it securely planted in my brain! I can't stand it that the "Greatest Generation" is passing on. I am not ready for the torch to be passed! I am not ready to be the "wise one" in my family!
For months my life revolved around getting this surgery. Then I was waiting for my surgery day to come. Then the surgery itself was exciting and the time spent in the hospital was even kind of fun. I loved all the attention I recieved there! Is this just part of the letdown because the surgry is over? Or is it hormones as someone suggested?
Last night I was actually sick and all I had eaten was some stewed chicken with a few baby carrots and onion and celery(all cooked until they were mushy) But I was sick again during the early morning hours when I had eaten nothing, so I don't think it was dumping. That was my first time since the surgery that I had been sick. I was not amused!! But I'm better now. And I did lose a pound, so it's all good, I guess.
I just need to get happy again. Any ideas??
(
I need to adopt a dog, right??)
Four Weeks and Counting....
Feb 24, 2008
Tomorrow will be the four week anniversary of my gastric bypass surgery. I am still pinching myself and wondering of they really did anything. I feel so normal! I have no problems with anything I have eaten so far and have had no problem getting my required 64 ounces of water per day, thanks to Crystal Light! I am able to eat about a half cup of pureed food if I go slow enough with it and sometimes I wonder if that might be too much. I am really tired of the pureed food and long to chew my food again! Baby food is very boring-even if you do make it yourself. I discovered a favorite, though. Armour Chili with no beans and Taco Bell Salsa Con Queso run through the Magic Bullet. The recipe was in the book we got from the Barix Clinic. It makes you feel like you're eating gtown-up food again! (now if I just had some taco chips!-LOL)
My bruise has healed nicely, but that one incision is still open and bothersome. I have been putting triple antibiotic ointment on it daily and a fresh bandage and today it is itching like crazy! I hope that means it's healing.
As for the weight loss, I think I have only lost 25 pounds since the surgery. I tend to think I should be losing faster and maybe I would if I could walk better, but the snow and ice won't go away and I can't wear boots over my brace and specially made shoes, so I am very unsure on slick pavement. It's just too risky to go outside yet, so I can only walk inside my little house and pedal my stationary bike.
I am noticing little things though that make me feel better. My bra is too big! It used to be too tight! I might actually have to buy a smaller one soon! Yesterday I was putting my shoes on and I crossed my legs to tie my shoe-I haven't been able to do that for years! And my legs are actually starting to taper in where my ankle should be. For the longest time they have just looked like beer barrels! I have been wearing my original wedding ring again lately, too, and my favorite birthstone ring. Those wouldn't go on my finger a month ago! I have also noticed that I can hold the notes much longer when we sing in church. Is that from the weight loss or the breathing exercises? Either way, I am going to keep doing those exercises-I mean, why not?? Oh, and my favorite pea coat buttons all the way to the bottom now. I even got a favorite sweater out of the drawer and wore it last week one day. It felt good to be able to fit in it again.
Today we went to McDonald's after church so hubby could get his double cheeseburger. I took a protein shake along. Some friends joined us and I ended up telling them why I was drinking "chocolate milk" in a Magic Bullet mug. The guy, without thinking, I guess, started talking about someone who had the surgery and then started having problems with a mysterious blood loss. I didn't say anything. Then he mentioned someone else who aspirated after their surgery and almost died. I still said nothing. Still later he mentioned some guy who had a gastric bypass and died from it. That was enough. I just said, "Okay, you can stop talking anytime now."
He did, and he even apologized. What us wrong with people?? You know what? However much longer I live, it will probably be much longer and much better than I would have lived without the surgery.
There always have to be those negative people in the world who are afraid to follow their own dreams so they go around trying to ruin other people's dreams.
Well no way, Buddy! I still have some plans!
I'm hoping the weight loss gets going pretty soon and also hoping the weather improves enough for me to get outside and be more active! I'm also looking forward to eating regular food again-even though it will be small amounts.
I can't wait!
Two week Check Up
Feb 12, 2008
My check up went well. I was worried about my left leg hurting. Thought maybe I was getting phlebitis again. I have had it before and this feels like it. The nurse looked at it and said it wasn't hot or red, so it was probably not phlebitis. I am supposed to take Tylenol and use a heating pad on it. One of my incisions is open and draining at one end. It's right above my navel where my fat roll hides it from me. I thought I was doing great. Darn! But that probably explains why my blood sugar is still high. Today I am back to running around in my nightgown and no underwear to let that incision heal. I love having an excuse not to get dressed!). Dr. Schram came in then and checked my incisions. He was a little surprised to see the remains of my bruise. (He should have seen it a week and a half ago!) But I kept telling them that I feel really good! The dietician came in then and reviewed my food diary with me. She said I could start pureed foods. I am not thrilled with that idea for some reason. The liquid diet is so much easier. Anyway, I can't get to the grocery until Friday, so I am staying on Liquids until the weekend. I lost 16 pounds! That makes 60 pounds since July! I am now at 301! I am so obsessed with getting back under 300.
Another reason to stay on liquids for another few days! I also got to see my friend, Rob, who had his surgery right after mine. Does he ever look great already! It seems so unfair that men lose more quickly than women, but I'm betting he lost a bunch, because it sure shows! He was still waiting for his check up when we left. I will have to ask him how he did.
The trip home was pure torture! The snowstorm that was predictied to start around midnight, decided to start when we were halfway home. It was coming down so quick that you couldn't tell where the center line was. Traffic was creeping along. Hubby was coughing and sneezing and acting miserable. We onlly stopped once to use the restroom, so I really didn't get my walking in, but we needed to get home before it got any worse. We got home around 7:45 and after getting the recycling done and taking his shower, Bob went right to bed. I felt kind of bad for him. But now we don't have to go baack until March 31. Dr. Schram will be gone when my six-week check should have been. I am glad. Maybe we will have spring-like weather by then.
First Outing
Feb 10, 2008
Friday is usually our day to go out to eat and then to Walmart for supplies. I had not been out of the house since my surgery because my belly was quite bruised and underwear was not friendly! I was living in my nightgown for the first week home. I am now past that, though my bruise is now multicolored which means it's healing! But Friday was the first time I had worn my bra or my leg brace and shoes. It went well. First of all, my bra does not feel the least bit tight or uncomfortable-hooray! Secondly, I can button my coat all the way down! WOO HOO! We went to McDonald's because it's Lent and hubby wanted to eat fish and doesn't like the fish sandwiches anywhere else.(he hasn't tried many places!) I took my Pro-Pudding along in the little container that came with my Magic Bullet and ate it there. I got talking toi another lady who was asking about my surgery. The lady next to her was listening with interest. Then she said that she had the surgery two years ago and had lost 109 pounds. I love hearing that stuff! She also said she is now struggling because she can eat almost anything now. She said that she ate one cookie at Christmastime and gained five pounds! One cookie?? I was of the assumption that sugar was a definite no-no! For always! Then the lady asked me how long ago I had my surgery. I told her it had been 11 days and she had a fit! She said I shouldn't be eating "solid foods." I was told that pudding and smoothe yogurt were okay on full liquids. I know that all doctors are differen, but she said that she was on CLEAR liquids for a month!! "If you couldn't see through it, you didn't drink it." she said. I am sure glad I didn't have her doctor! I am on liquids for three weeks and thought that was pretty strict when some of my friends are already on solid food. I don't get regular food until six weeks out. I am comfortable with that. I'm loving this liquid stage. I can live with yummy protein shakes and broth and pudding and fudgesicles....not to mention my favorrite flavors of Crystal Light. I haven't even been bored yet!
Back to my outing-we also went to Walmart and I must admit, I rode the handicapped scooter. I still have bad feet. The store is just too big and it's still too painful to walk. Hopefully I will be well enough someday to walk around in there, but not yet. I really did enjoy being out of the house for the first time in a week and a half. Then yesterday I WALKED(with my walker) down to my neighbor's estate sale. Had to leave my rollater outside and go in. I wanted something to remember my friend by. Her house was almost empty and it made me sad, I was having trouble with my balance and her daughter noticed so she offered me my friend's cane to use while I was there. My friend and I had spent many happy hours talking, me on my 'Rascal Scooter' and her leaning on that cane! It made me feel close to her so I bought the cane. I need one anyway and I sort of collect them. So that was another "out of the house" experience. Today I got dressed up and went to church with Bob. Got lots of hugs and good wishes. And I wore my original wedding ring which was too tight before surgery!!
Tomorrow is my two week check up and I will know how well I am doing. I am still having high blood sugars of 200+. I have called the Barix Clinic, talked to the dietitcian, and even got a new prescription from my PCP but it's still high today. Hoping to get that resolved!
Over all, I feel great! I just wish the weather would change so I could get outside more. I'm thinking of joining a gym but then I don't drive and would have to go with someone else.....(more excuses..)
Not So Happy Today
Feb 07, 2008
I think I had my first semi-bad day. Last night I decided to have some "healthy" Progresso Garden Vegetable Soup. I pureed it in my Magic Bullet, then strained it with my wire strainer and then sipped it in two separate meals. It was yummy to have something substantial in my tummy-pouch. But today I have barely been able to stand myself! The gas has been awful! I smell like a three week old pot of cabbage soup! I am so glad I didn't have to go anywhere. I feel like every place I sat today now smells like rotten cabbage! When my husband got home from work, I tried to make him a simple supper and I was just a wreck! I had sat the margarine out on the counter and then couldn't find it in the fridge-duh!! Couldn't find the lid for my insulated coffee mug that I like to sip my broth out of, was almost in tears, beacuse I couldn't control the gas, and it got so bad that my hubby told me to go take a nap and he would get his own supper. I sipped my chicken broth, farted, and cried, and finally went to sleep for a couple hours in my recliner. Later on, I woke up, "Febreezed" my recliner, and spent some quality time in my "throne room" gettting some relief! Was it too soon for the veggie soup? Will I always have that problem?
I guess I was not expecting the emotional part. I was told I could have creamed soups and soups run through the magic bullet and strained, but the creamed soups seem to be so high in carbs! Guess I made a bad choice.
Other than the fact that I stink, the rest of the day went good. I even pedaled my bike for a while this afternoon.
On exercising
Feb 05, 2008
Sometimes life is so simple it completely baffles me!
I am not exercising enough. I know it and I can come up with a thousand excuses. I can't walk very far anyway, and the weather in Ohio is not very conducive to walking in February. (I will have to find a new excuse next month!) Maybe it will be too windy in March! I know I have to walk, because I am only eight days post-op and I DO NOT want blood clots! So every couple hours or so , I walk around the circle formed be our living room, small hallway, den and dining room, and another small hallway. The problem with that is our house is quite small and after about five rounds, I am so dizzy, I have to sit back down. (yes-I'm ALWAYS dizzy-I've heard that one before from hubby)
So anyway, I have this stationary bicycle. I plan to ride it at least daily-but not yet! It is to high, I can't lift my legs up over the bars, I might fall and hurt myself-yadda-yadda-yadda...
Well, last night my mother's 91 year old friend "Toots" called me. Mom passed away in September and Toots misses her terribly. I also think Toots is keeping an eye on me for Mom, but that's another story! After Mom died, Toots asked me if Mom had one of those "pedaling" things to exercise your legs after knee surgery. Mom had one, but we had already given it to Mom's baby sisiter who also had knee replacement surgery. So I asked Toots if she ever found one. "no-I just use my stationary bike" she answered. I told her I had one of those, too, but I was waiting for the day when I could get my big rear up on it without danger of falling. Toots said, "Oh, I just sit on a chair behind my exercise bike and use the pedals." WHAT??? It can't be that simple! But it is! I went out in the garage and tried it! Held onto the bicycle seat and pedaled away!
I am not going to let a 91 year old lady beat me in the fitness department! No wonder they are the "Greatest Generation" I would have never thought of that.
Crap! There go all my excuses!
One Week Out!
Feb 03, 2008
One week ago this very minute I was lying in that bed in the pre-op area at the Barix Clinic getting very nervous as the clock approached 10AM-my scheduled surgery time. I was praying my little mantra, "Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner." and trying not to be scared when the doors opened and there stood my newest hero, Dr. Jon Schram. I can't remember exactly what he said, something about being ready to start me new life, I'm sure, but he was so kind and gentle sounding that I was instantly relieved. Then he did something remarkable! he took my hand in his and he prayed! He prayed for God to guide his hands and for speedy and total healing for me. I am sure I remember signing a paper that said I wanted him to pray with me, but I had forgotten all that, and I was just blown away! It made all the difference in the world to me! I remember being wheeled in to surgery after saying "See ya!" to my husband, and then scooting onto the table and asking for a pillow under my knees, which they provided, and then I was waking up to kind, gentle voices in the recovery room. I was in pain, and was moaning, but they said, "Hold on, Barbara, we're giving you something for the pain." Then someone who was working with the patient in the next bed asked how to spell a word. The person who replied got it wrong. Here's where the real me stepped in. I corrected them!
Okay, I worked in an admissions office and I studied medical terminology, but these were doctors and nurses!! They all laughed and then asked me to spell another word. I spelled it wrong, of course and they called me on it. My smart aleck reply?? "Look! What do you expect? I'm blonde and I'm on drugs!" Once a wiseacre, always a wisacre, I guess! Of course, I am just going on what they told me later. And it DOES sound very much like me!
When I got back to my room there was flurry of actinity as they got me settled. I don't remember much except when my hubby came in. They brought me a phone then. My cousin had called in from California to see how I was doing and they patched her through. I sure didn't want to talk long at that time. It's hard to talk with no spit and my throat was a little scratchy! I had been surprised right away that my throat was not sore from the tube, but it was not. It was just very dry. I got off the phone as quick as I could. I just wanted to sleep and take it all in that I had not only survived, I was also very comfortable by this time! I only had that brief few seconds of pain in the recovery room when I woke up and that was it the whole time! They brought me swabs to wet the inside of my mouth and I was allowed an ice chip every half hour. It really was not so bad. I learned how to get the max out of those swabs, I'll tell you that much! I could get them back pretty far into my throat area and that really helped. Since I had pumps on my legs to prevent blood clots and IVs in my arm, I was pretty helpless at first, or I swear, I would have been up and sitting on the edge of my bed. Having had a cold the previous week had left me with a lot of mucous and I could not get up a good enough cough to get rid of it while reclining. But I need not have worried, as it wasn't long before a nurse came and got me for my first walk. I was dopey and groggy so she walked with me the first day and handled my IV pole while I used my walker. That walk felt pretty darn good! Then it was time again for a short nap. I say short, because it seemed like every time I fell asleep for any length of time, there was a respiratory therapist there to wake me up to breath. or a nurse to check my vitals. I loved every minute of the attention, though. This is how I was used to be treated as a child. I am a princess, after all!
Sometime during the first night, I awoke to see a little man sitting on his haunches beside my bed. He was just crouched down there, like he was meditating. He had a head full of curly brown hair and he never seemed to move. I thought I was hallucinating, so I reached down and touched his head. It turned out to be my night nurse, who was reading the "out put" on my catheter bag! "Oh! You're real!" I said. " "I was just checking to see how much you put out", he said. "If you're looking for some someone who puts out, brother, you have sure come to the wrong place!" I retorted.
So see?? You just can't keep a good smart ass down. Sometomes I really embarrass myself! (then I blog about it)
The second day I stopped using my "clicker" for the pain meds("I'll take "the British Invasion for 1000, Alex"-I wonder how many times they had heard THAT line?) and I figured out that I could walk pretty good by holding on to my IV pole with one hand and the railing along the wall with the other. I was free! Sort of.. I know they kept a close eye on me, because as soon as I got back to my room, there they were to put those pumps back on my legs! My legs were way too swollen.
The problem with that was that they put me on lasix and I had to go to the bathroom a lot, so I also learned how to rip those pumps off my legs. No big deal-they were just velcro, but then I had to call a nurse to put them back on right each time. I DID get tired of that bed, and wished I had a recliner in my room. That has to be my only complaint. The nurses and other staff were fun and jolly. The other patients were all as happy and doing as well as me. A couple I had even met on here. The hospital was very warm and cozy, even though there were winter storms going on and power outages around us. I felt very safe and cared for the whole time. I would trust thse people with my life! Oh! I guess I DID!
Day three-Dr, Schram breezed into my room and asked if I would like to go hame. Of course I would! A nurse came in to remove my IVs-YEA!! Now I was really free and immediately went for a walk around the floor. Then I went back to take a nap. I no more than gotten into bed when Wilhelmina, one of my favorite aides(or was she a nurse?), came in and said "Would you like to take a shower?" Well, that sounded much better than a nap!! Oh-it was heavenly!! All that yellow stuff on my belly was starting to itch by this time! They had everything I could possibly need already in there for my shower. Other than my houseslippers, I don't even know why I bothered to pack a suitcase! I felt like I never wanted to leave that room! But there were other patients there, so I tried to be fair. While I was in the shower, my husband called to see if I was being dismissed that day. I was sorry I missed his call, but it's a three hour drive from home to the clinic, so I knew he had left already and I never DID figure out how to place e collect call from the phone in my room. I tried to take a nap, but I think I was too excited. There were lots of peple in the halls. People with babies in strollers and little ones running around. I got up and closed my door, but I couldn't sleep much anyway. A nurse came in and checked my incisions. She did not like the big bruise on my tummy. A lady doctor came in to see my bruise. They had to draw more blood. If I was still losing any blood I would have to stay another day. I prayed really hard. Bob was already on his way to get me! The test turned out okay and I got to go home.
I found out then that the power was out in the area. No wonder people who had relatives in the clinic brought their children along. I don't balme them! It was warm in there! And it's good for the patients to see their families anyway.
The ride home was not pleasant. I didn't want to take my pain meds as they sometimes cause nausea with me. I had a pillow and I hugged it against my belly and closed my eyes most of the way. I felt like a grouch and usually Bob suffers when I feel that way. I'm sure he would have rather driven straight through, but he woke me up twice to get out and walk. I complained about the places he chose to stop. I don't know what difference it made, but I needed to complain about something, I guess. When we finally got home, I immediately stripped off my itchy clothes and put on a nightgown. I also took my pain medicine and slept in my recliner for a while! My son came down with Sadie, his black lab. She brightened my day with a good wet kiss and we walked around the circle in my house together and then she had some milkbones. Now I was happy!
I simply cannot believe how well this all went and how great I feel. I have a bruise around my middle. That is the only thing that reminds me that I just had surgery a week ago. It gives me an excuse to run around in my nightgown and baby myself and I'm fine with that!
But the greatest thing is knowing that I will be finally breaking out of this "fat prison" that my body has been trapped in for so long. Ain't life grand??
i'm Home
Jan 30, 2008
Dr. Schram is now my hero!
Here I Go!
Jan 27, 2008
