braddana03

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   Well, today I went to the hospital for all of my pre-op tests. I pre-registered and had my ekg and my blood drawn, so now I just have to wait. When I was at the hospital today I got really nervous. I know that I am going to be fine, but the unknown to me is so scary. I don't know how much pain or soreness i will have. I don't know if I will get nauseous. I do know that I want to succeed. I can do this. I completely shocked myself with quitting smoking cold turkey after 6 years of smoking. I want to make a life long change where I wont be in this same boat 10 years from now. Food for me has become like a drug. If someone makes me feel inferior, unloved, disrespected, humiliated or like I am  embarrasing them, I shut down and I eat. Because food has never told me I am ugly. It doesn't make fun of me. It comforts me. But that way of thinking is wrong. Food has taken alot of the joy out of living for me. The way I think about food has to change. I want to only require food to give my body energy, and to keep it running. I don't want to plan my day around where I am going to eat at. This is such a drastic change for me, and I have to take this opportunity and run with it.

I am really getting there! I have officially been a non-smoker for two weeks today! Right now I am not nervous, but I feel like the day and night before I am going to be a basket case. I know that I am going to be alright, but I just have that little part of my brain that it like what if ? I go for pre-op on oct.20th and I have a few more questions I need to make sure I ask about for after surgery. I started walking two weeks ago also, just trying to get healthy so my surgery will be smoother.

Well, I did it. I quit smoking cold turkey after six years.  I waited till the last possible minute and I think about it often throughout the day, but I haven't cheated. I quit on 09/19 at 12:47 a.m. . I had to be smoke free for 4 weeks by 10/20, which is the day I go in for pre-op testing. I also started exercising. My sister and I went walking last sunday morning an I found some muscles that I didnt know existed!

well, its official....Im having surgery oct. 26th 2009 at 8:00. I think the closer it gets the more nervous i will be. I thought that since this is my 1st post, i would make a list of things I would like to accomplish....so here goes.


1. Be able to sit in ANY chair
2. Put on  Shoes without sitting on the bed
3. Be able to wear high-heels again
4. Have a baby
5. Weigh less than my husband
6. Wear a knee-length anything
7. Wear shorts
8. Be able to easily paint my toe-nails
9. Ride a rollercoaster
10. Wear a normal bathingsuit
11. Wear a sleeveless shirt
12. Allow my picture to be taken
13. Buy a bra from Victoria Secret
14. Shop at regular stores
15. No longer make my daughter ashamed of her big mom
16. New positions...nuff said
17.Not ever be told again how pretty my Face is
18 Buy cute shoes
19. Workout regularly
20. Wear an anklet
21. Renew my wedding vows in a size 12
22. Live life again
23. Be able to cross my legs