Brandi7920

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My name is Brandi. Iwas 24 years old, 5'3, and 351 lbs when I began this journey. I have been overweight since I was 7. I have been on and off of diets since I was 12. I started looking into gastric by-pass surgery 2 years before I ever approached Dr. Olsen. I decided that this is what I want. I am a closet binger and I have to do something, or else I believe I will be dead before I am 30. I want to LIVE my life not just exist. I quit my job at Walmart because their insurance plan has a major exclusion. I got a job with my Mom at a Third Party Administrator. I knew before I applied that 2 women there have had wls. I checked to make sure they had no exclusions (just in case), then I signed up for insurance as soon as I could. I then attended a Seminar at Cenntennial, and got a letter from my PCP stating medical necessity (which as it turns out the ins. co. didn't need-and never received!). I turned all of my paper work into the ins. co. in the second week in January.

1-20-2004 - I found out yesterday that I have been approved for weight loss surgery! I am so very excited! My one on one with Dr. Olsen is tomorrow, January 21st! My psych eval is tomorrow, also. I'm not as thrilled about that, but still very happy! Everything is happening very quickly and suddenly-which I am perfectly happy about, I'll catch my breath afterward! Yeah! Not too much longer and I will be a very happy loser!! Woohoo!!

1-22-2004 - Ok. Yesterday I went for my psych eval, and I found out that I am not crazy (Thank God!). Also yesterday, I had my consultation with Dr. Olsen. He was really nice and helpful. He explained everything that would happen to me (thanks to Obesityhelp.com I was very well informed). After explaining the risks and all, he asked me if I was still interested... I was like, YES! So, while I was there they scheduled a surgery date for me!!!! OMG!!! February 16th!!! That is like 3 weeks away!!! I am so very very very excited! I just can't believe how fast everything is happening--and thrilled about it, too! I'm so grateful that my best friend Rachell went with me yesterday, that way we could dance a jig together! --just kidding. She is as excited about this as I am so there was hugging and laughing! Ok so the countdown begins, I have 25 days until I become a loser! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2-06-04 - I am so very thankful for this site, there is so much information and support. I feel like I have practically lived and breathed this site for the past 2 years. The before and after pics have been my life line for the past 2 weeks. lol. Tuesday, Feb. 10th I go for my pre-op testing (EKG and have my gallbladder checked) and pay my $2000 out of network fee. Then my next stop is the surgery room. Yeah! I just can not believe how quickly all of this has come about, and I am so very excited. (Only a few butterflies so far.) haha. Next time I post I will be on the losing side! YEAH!!!

2-19-04 - Well I am on the losing tean now! Yeah! I had surgery Monday morning, I had to be there at 5:30am. So we all had to get up at 3:30 in order to get ready and get to the hospital on time. Any ways,I was actually not nervous at all. I figured I would be terrified come the moment of truth. I didn't have to wait long thank God, till they took me back and set me up and stuck me full of wholes. (IV in my neck!) Then the next thing I remember is a disturbing world full of pain, and me wondering what the hell I was thinking having this done! But they gave me more drugs and I drifted off to Brandiland. The next day was pretty rough not so much pain as when I initially woke up in recovery. I had to use this breathing contraption and that HURT. Then came the walking and all of that. The morning after surgery I went for my xray to make sure I had no leaks, I got up and hobbled to the gurney got on and the transportation dude decided to raise the gurney some, instead he lowered and my feet slammed to the ground! Talk about pain! Anyways, things are definitely getting easier as the days pass. I stay restless,up and down constantly. My pain meds are starting to kick in. Cenntennial was awesome. The staff there are so nice and helpful and encouraging. They truly helped me alot. Dr. Olsen was great. I have to go lay down now. I'll write more later!

2-23-04 - Hello! I am 7 days post-op and have been off pain meds for 3 days now. Yeah I am experiencing very minimal pain. Which is a good thing. I haven't had food in 9 days. That's a long time. I am mostly ok with it though, after all, this was my decision and I knew what would happen. This drain tube is disgusting and I can't wait to get back to see Dr.Olsen. My first post-op Dr. visit is on Friday. I am seriously looking forward to it. I'll be glad when he says I can drive again I really miss my freedom. My grandmother came to Nashville this past week to take care of me in the hospital. I'm so very grateful for her. I honestly don't think I could have made it without her! I had a small (ok a big)breakdown Sunday. I just cried and cried. Strange huh? I still get teary-eyed over silly stuff even now. I'm not one to cry alot so this was weird. But my grandmother just held me and rocked like a baby and told me all would be well. I haven't heard about anybody else having this sort of thing happen. I just couldn't help it. I went home with my grandmother to Knoxville, I just couldn't stand a week pacing through my house bored out of mind. So here I am. I have not slept a full nights sleep since before the surgery, I'm pretty sure that is because I have to sleep on my back which I am not happy about. I get up and down all night, move from the couch to the bed to the recliner trying to find a comfy place to sleep. Ah well this too shall pass. I'm working very hard on getting my fluids in although it is not easy. I have to work at it all day long. I try to walk a lot and keep my self busy. Showering is not all that fun with this drain tube and all of the incision sites. I belch constantly, thankfully though I have no problem with bm or passing gas. The nurse at the hospital told me that she would be giving me a suppository (ugh!) 10 minutes later I was taking care of business on my own! No laxative necessary-Thank God! I have to drink blue food coloring everyday and that is a real treat! lol. blue mouth, blue tongue. Still, I'd rather find out now rather than later if I have a leak. Well this is all for now. I'll write more later.

2-28-04 - Well, I went to see Dr.Olsen yesterday and I have lost 20lbs.!!! I'm so thrilled! I also got my drain tube out which really made me happy! It didn't hurt as I expected. I had to call all of my close friends and family and tell them! I started the second phase of my diet too. Protein shakes...yum. I have to put egg beaters in the shakes and the thought turns my stomach. Yuck. I'll manage though. Phase 3 starts next week and I can not wait! Pureed foods, poached fish, eggs, cheese, and cottage cheese! Oh, bring it on! I was told to drink 6 oz. of skim milk and I had diarhea (sp?) I'm not sure if that's because I have been on clear liquid for 2 weeks or not so I'm gonna try it again tomorrow. (crossing fingers and praying I have not become lactose intolerant- because I Love cheese!) My head hunger is driving me nuts. I think I will be fine once I get on solids, so I guess I'll go crazy for just one more week. Wish me luck getting through this last week of liquids.

03-08-04 - I went back to work last week, I was never so glad to be back and actually doing something! It was great. I'm taking breaks every twice a day to go outside and walk around. I was pretty tired the first couple of days but that's ok. The protein shakes were nasty! I really had a hard time getting them down because they tasted so bad. I started phase 2 on the 6th. I did fine. Although it did take me 2 hours to eat 1 egg. lol. That's ok though, I know things will get better. I've tried pureed tuna(gross without relish, in my opinion), pureed chicken, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, and american cheese (all fat free). So far all is fine. It justs takes at least an hour to eat. I'm having a hard time getting all of my water in. I'm averaging about 40 oz. since I started the semi-solids. My guess is because 6 hours out of the day I can't drink anything. (Before, during and after eating a meal) I'll just have to work harder to get it down. I have not weighed to see how much more I have lost since going to see Dr.Olsen. I'm told that I Have to have a scale. I just don't want to become discouraged if it doesn't move as fast as I want it too. Although I am very curious to see how much I have lost. I found out today that one of my friends here at work has been approved for wls! I am thrilled for her and want to help her as much as I can! She is going to Dr. Olsen also and I think she made the right decision because I think the world of him. So, 2 weeks of pureed foods and semi-solids then I'm on to real food. Eating has already become a chore, so I'm not as thrilled about phase 3 as I was about phase 2. Oh, well. Things will get easier with time. Or so I'm told..lol.

03-17-04 - Happy Saint Patrick's Day!! I am now 1 month and 1 day post-op. It doesn't seem like it has been that long!!! My next doctors visit is on the 25th. I have not weighed myself, so I have no idea what I have lost. I am hoping for a big shock..that would be cool. I'm now wearing jeans that I have not worn in well over 6 months. Also my rings are close to falling off (pre-op they were too tight so I had all but stopped wearing them). Yeah. I try to look for at least 1 good thing for each day. My list is getting really long! I did go through a spell where I would have these pms-y mood swings. A friend of mine that I met through this site suggested it might be my B-12. (which I had not started taking yet) I started the sublingual B-12 and I've been perfectly fine since then. So that was cool. I'm supposed to be on semi-solids and purred stuff right now. But you know what? I chew just as well as that blender. Pureed food is disgusting! It looks like I've chewed it up and spit it back up! Ugh! I am eating soft stuff and I am keeping to my list of food I can have...I'm chewing it up myself. I get more down when I chew it myself because I lose what little appetite I have staring at pre-chewed food. So anyways, the next time I post will be after the 25th with my current weight loss status! I really can't wait! I have been dying to know, but I wanted a big surprise too. I'll get a scale after that doctor visit. ERIN GO BRAUGH! (Ireland Forever!)

03-25-04 - I went to the doctor today and I have lost another 15lbs., so that puts me at a total loss of 35lbs.! Yeah! I am very happy with how everything is going. Dr.Olsen said that I'm doing great, although he did get onto me about my water. He said I wasn't drinking nearly enough. I'm up to 50 oz. a day, and that is sipping *literally* around the clock. He pointed out that I am far enough post-op that I can actually gulp water now (he had me try it right then to see how I did). Yeah I learned something new. Already, I am getting in more water, so I am happy about that. I drank 40 oz. in about 3 hours, which is Very good.
I feel very lucky that I have such wonderful friends and family. Everyone is so very supportive of me. My surgery has affected everyone in my family, everyone is making healthy choices now and exercising with me. We have been exercising just about every night. We are going to join a gym (we are already going there just haven't gotten are membership cards yet). We are walking 2 miles a day and swimming laps. Tonight we start water aerobics, I'm really looking forward to that! Last night we exercised for 2 hours! I haven't had this much energy in years! Exercising makes me feel so good about myself and really gives me a sense of accomplishment.
For the past 2 years I have been obsessed with this website and learning everything I can about this surgery and how it affects the people who have it. I would day dream about what it would be like to have all of this weight off, and what I would do if I could. I noticed a little while back that I have stopped day dreaming, because my goals are really attainable now. I will have to make new goals now! :-)This is going to be such an exciting year!

04-06-04 - I really need to buy a scale! I am not sure exactly where I am at but I think I've lost right at about 50 lbs. My clothes are really starting to hang on me now. I think it won't be too much longer till I start looking for the next size down. I started out with a very tight 28, Thank God, they are getting soo loose on me! Yeah! My next Doctor's Visit is on April 23rd. At my last visit Dr.Olsen got onto me for not drinking enough water...I've got it now though! I can't wait to tell him!lol! So he can't get on my case for that again! I'm still exercising everyday with my Mom, which is great! We are exercising at least an hour a day. We are walking 2 miles a day, as well as swimming laps (which wears me out!), water aerobics on some nights, and weight training. I feel really great! I AM going to get a scale...and as soon as I do, I will post my current weight loss stat.

04-14-04 - I went to my first support group meeting last night. I had a really good time and I was very glad that I went. Now I can't wait to go to the next one. It is really cool to be in a room full of people going through what I'm going through. I met some people and ran into some people that I had talked to in Dr.Olsen's office.
I ~finally~ bought a scale. I promised myself that I would not get all obsessive and weigh everyday..but that lasted less than a day. It is just so cool because everyday I get on the scale and it is lower than it was the day before. I love it! My clothes are getting soooo big! This is truly amazing. I won't have to wait too much longer before I will be in a smaller size! Yeah. Honestly though, I haven't tried and 24s yet so I don't know if I'm already there or not. My 26/28 are really big on me now. I have plenty of gut to hold them up though. lol.
I have cut bread and crackers out of my diet. I don't eat that much of it anyway. I usually tear the bread to pieces and then throw it away, so really there is no point in even buying it in the first place!
I am still exercising an hour a day. With the exception of last weekend, when my best friend came to visit. (he moved to Canada last year so when he came to visit, every moment was spent hanging out with him) You know what is funny though? I went 3 days without exercising and I felt so guilty..and get this!...I missed it! Lol. My next doctor visit is on April 23rd, that is 9 days away, I want to be under the 300 mark. I don't think that is too much to ask. I am only 4 pounds from that little goal. Only 5 pounds to lose till I can say that I have 'Officially' lost 50 pounds! That will be a great feeling. I am really looking forward to Dr.Olsen asking me if I am getting all of my water in! That way I can be like 'OH YEAH!' lol.
In 2 days, I will be 2 months post-op. 2 whole months...wow. A lot has happened to me in such a small amount of time. I feel like such a lucky person...I never thought any of this would happen for me! It's all so overwhelming and incredible!

4-15-04 - Ok I hit a big milestone today! I am wearing a size 22!!! OMG! I am so excited about this. My friend Kristina sent me 2 huge boxes full of clothes yesterday so, of course I rushed home to see if I could wear any of the clothes yet! She sent me sizes 18 through 24. (She had her surgery the same day I did, but she is smaller than I am so she sent me her clothes that are too big for her) Anyways, I didn't think I could wear any of it yet! Imagine my surprise when I slipped into a pair of 22s!!! Needless to say I have had a permanent grin on my face all day. So I have gone from a VERY tight 28 to a 22. Kristina is so awesome. It has been so great talking to someone everyday that knows what I am going through and is experiencing the same things. She is a great person and I'm very thankful that we met (through this website, actually).

04-16-04 - Today is my 2 month anniversary. Wow 2 whole months, time flies! I have been secretly hoping that I would have lost 50 pounds by today, because I was sooo close. Well, this morning I got on the scale (3 times just to make sure that I was reading it right! lol!) and I weigh 301 lbs.! That means I have lost 50 lbs.!!! In 2 months!!! Jeez. I am soo excited about this! All in all this has been an exceptional week for me. (i.e. discovery that I can wear 22s, plus hitting my own little goal)

04-18-04 - I am officially under the 300 mark!!! When I saw the scale read at 298lbs. I was ecstatic! I was hollering and dancing and so my Mom came to see what the big deal was about. When I saw her I just busted into tears! How silly, huh? I really couldn't help it though. It was such a huge moment for me, more so even than losing 50 lbs.. This is truly the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am so grateful for a wonderful, talented caring doctor. And my Family and Friends, they are just so supportive of me, I feel so very lucky.
So much has changed in such a short amount of time. I am really happy. I have hope. I am active(I love exercising...and I actually enjoyed mowing the yard!!! lol).

04-27-04 - I have had some kind of crazy stomach bug that has had me on the toilet pretty much non-stop since last Tuesday. Let me tell you, it has NOT been fun! I'm gradually getting better though. At first I thought it was something I ate. However, that is not the case.
I went to see Dr.Olsen on Friday. He seems very pleased with my success so far. I was very happy to tell him that I am keeping up with everything I am spposed to (water, support meetings, protein, exercise). He says that if I lose 22 pounds by the next time he says me (next month) then we will know if I will be a slow or fast loser. We shall see. I kind of wish he had not told me that though...it just gives me another excuse to get on the scale everyday! :) Ok. For the past 6 days I have had diahrrea. Because of that I am losing weight even faster,I think. On Friday, at my doctor's appt. I weighed 295 lbs., 4 days later I weigh 287. Hmmm. Actually, the scale said 287 yesterday but I wanted to see if it would stay there...or if it was just a flux. Anyways, I'm curious to see if that weight will come back or what, because it came off so quick. I guess I'll find out in a couple of days. Oh, yeah. Dr.Olsen told me to take some kaopectate to help with my sickness. I took that and it is gradually getting better. I have not exercised since Thursday! My stomach has been so upset, there was no way I was going to the gym like that! Hopefully, I will feel well enough to go tonight. I have really missed it.
It is a little hard to get used to all of these compliments. It is nice to hear but still. Normally I kind of brush off compliments, but I actually feel good about myself now, so I am learning to say Thank you (without blushing--lol).

05-19-04 - Wow...I am 3 months post-op now and have lost a total of 73 lbs.! It's incredible! All of my pre-op clothes are falling off of me and am now wearing alot of the clothes that were too tight before (and they are getting too big! yeah). I'm kind of between sizes right now. I can pull off 24s without unbuttoning them and some brands of 22s are too tight or don't fit (although some brands I wear just fine) I can't believe I am only 27 lbs. fro joining the century club! Crazy! The past month has been so insanely busy! My friend Jessie is getting married on June 5th and I am the maid of honor. So I have been helping with the wedding preparations, throwing a bridal shower, shopping for a dress :o), and preparing to throw a bachelorette party this Saturday. Also, my best friend Rachell graduated from college this past weekend..also last weekend my close friends and family (and I) all went to see Fleetwood Mac!!! Oh, man. They were awesome!! It was the best concert I have ever been too!!!!-and rained like hell (monsoon!), it was ok though..it was a lot of fun dancing in the rain!!! Man, we were drenched, but we didn't care! lol. Anyways, I have been so very busy, but the thing is...I now actually have the energy and desire to stay busy and go out and...act my age. lol. I'm only 24, that is too young to not be out enjoying life.
I have my 3 month check up this afternoon. I look forward to seeing Dr.Olsen! He is the best!

06-01-04 - Hello! Well, my 3 month check up went fine. I was told that I would get a call if there was anything wrong with my bloodwork results...no call, no problem. I switched my calcium supplement. I just could not stand those poker chip size calcium citrate tablets. They were nasty! I went to Vitamin World (.com if your interested in where to get the liquid supplement) and found liquid calcium citrate with magnesium. The stuff tastes horrible but is still quicker and easier than those humongous tablets! So I won't complain about the taste. I tablespoon has 600mg, so I take one in the morning and one at night.
I now weigh 265 lbs!!! I am only 14 lbs. away from joining the century club! I am going to cry like a baby! I just know I am! I am steadily losing 1 pound a day. I don't dare hope that I will be officially 100 lbs. lighter in just 2 weeks. (Lord knows anything could happen! but it would be cool!)I have gone from a very very tight 28/3x to a 22/2x. Hopefully I will start going through clothing sizes faster soon. I am schooling myself in patience...well I am trying anyway...lol. I just wonder if I will be 100 lbs. down by my 4 month anniversary. I will be 4 months post-op in exactly 2 weeks. I think it is a little far fetched but it would be cool. Somehow the fact that I still have 120 lbs.or so to lose doesn't seem so daunting now. I really can do this!
I am pretty much never hungry which is really cool. However, on the weekends I have a hard time remembering to eat! That is soo not cool. During the week it is part of my routine, so there is no problem. One thing that I have noticed post-op is that on my way up the scale no one ever told me to STOP eating, but now that I am on way down, everyone keeps trying to force feed me! That seems a little messed up to me. Also, my menstrual cycle is soo messed up! 'Normal' for me pre-op was to go 6 months in a row with no cycle, now I don't seem to ever stop! At least it is not heavy though, thank God. I will be glad when I come to some semblance of normalcy in that department!
Ok I was in a club last weekend and I was with some friends at a bachelorette party and I saw myself in a mirror. I didn't recognize myself! I then proceeded to miss a step and fall in the middle of the club! lol! Good Lord! All I could do was laugh! On Saturday, my friend Jessie is getting married and I am to be her maid of honor. I think that is so flattering. I love the dress and feel like a pincess in it. It is the first formal dress I have ever worn.
Here lately, I have been comparing my habits post-op to the way I was pre-op. I feel like I am really facing up to some of my nasty little demons. Like the fact that I was a closet binger and an emotional eater. Both of which I thought did not apply to me! Man is that a laugh!
I get a lot of attention because of the weight I have lost, but now more and more I got compliments on how happy I am. I AM happy, and evidently it shows. You know, most of the time I don't see that much change in the mirror, though I know it is there. For me it is all of the neat little things that I can do that I could not do before. Like fitting comfortably in to a chair at the theater, having room between me and the steering wheel in my truck...and not being wedged between the door and console! Painting my toenails and breathing at the same time (lol!) that is too cool! I can cross my legs too (granted not for long, but still!)! All of these little things they really make my day. I look for them everyday, and those little triumphs really add up!

06-15-04 - It's so hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 4 whole months post-op. It's so funny how much my life has changed in such a short period of time. I am very rarely home now. I am *literally* always on the go. In fact, yesterday, I hosted a barbeque at my house...and that was the longest period of time I have spent at home in well over a month.
Friday, I had a huge accomplishment. My best friend Rachell and I went on a 4 mile hike through the woods at a Civil War Battlefield. It was soo cool! I didn't have to stop to catch my breath, and I didn't have any problem keeping up! There was lots of rock climbing and winding up and down these narrow little trails and wading through thick fields. I truly loved it...so much..that we did it again Saturday morning! It dawned on me that 4 months ago I would not have been able to handle the first half mile!
I am turning 25 on Thursday. 25. Wow. I am going to be a quarter of a century old. I will also be a member of the Century Club. (if all goes as it has been). I am down 98 lbs. right now and I usually lose a pound a day. :o) This time last year I was sitting right here looking at all of the before and after pics, praying to God to help me. I never thought that I would be where I am right now, though. I am almost half way to my goal. I wonder where I will be this time next year.
I have had excessive menstrual bleeding for the past month, although I have pretty much had my period non-stop since my surgery. I am going to see an ob/gyn this afternoon. I imagine he will put me on birth control to help regulate me. *fingers crossed* I have been scared that I will become anemic because of all of the huge clots. (sorry for the visual) I am taking my iron supplement..but still. I think I will give it abit and then have my iron levels checked.
I am wearing 22s now. I have bagged up all of my *big* clothes. Let me tell you! That was a job and a half! I have 3 huge garbage bags and 2 huge boxes full of clothes that I am going to take to my next Support Group Meeting. My clothes were soo big on me. Out of habit I would keep going for the bigger clothing. My Mom pointed out that I could probably stick another person in with me, cause they were so big. Lol. It was time to say good-bye to the old clothes. It was harder to get rid of them than I expected. I guess it's an ingrained fear that this is all a dream or that the weight will come back. I wonder when I will start going threw clothing sizes faster. It felt like it took forever to get really comfortably into 22s. When do the 20s get here. My friend Kristina sent me some really cute summery dresses and skirts that are 20s. I can't wait till I can wear them! I can cross my legs now! How cool is that! I haven't done that in years! I was in a Sam Goody last weekend and a cute guy actually struck up a conversation with me! I was soo flustered! I just blushed and fled as soon as I could. Good Lord. What a goon! I am so not used to that at all though. He probably thought I was seriously stuck up or something. Oh, well. Maybe next time I won't have such an adverse reaction. LMAO!
My best friend Jessie and Michael got married on June 05, 2004. I was the maid of honor. The wedding was beautiful. I was wearing a floor length fluttery deep lilac off the shoulder gown. It was the first formal dress have ever worn. I bought it a month before the wedding, I had to have it altered 2 weeks later, and it was still slightly too big. Still, I felt like a princess. :o)

07-06-04 - A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Where to start? I turned 25 on the 17th of June, 2 days later my best friend Josh turned 28. We decided to move in together (big decision for me), and he bribed me with a puppy. As geminis it took us awhile to decide what kind of puppy to get, but eventually settled on a Welsh Terrier. They are just so cute! So we are not moving in together until the middle of September (that's when his current roommate is getting married and moving out). Still, we decided to go ahead and find out who some really good breeders are, etc. and we came across the AKC Welsh Terrier web site. One of the board members contacted us and invited us to Atlanta to meet up and kind of interview each other. (Josh and I wanted to make sure that we were compatable with these dogs...which we are!!!) So, on a spur of the moment we took off to Atlanta on the 19th of June (Josh's Birthday). That Saturday, we went to Six Flags over Georgia. I had not been to an amusement park in years. I was sooo scared that I would not be able to fit into the safety harnesses on the roller coasters....but I DID!!! I was thrilled! We had such a great time! I was not kind to myself though. Granted I was drinking all kinds of water, I forgot to eat. I eventually got to where I thought I was either going to be sick or pass out. Poor Josh worries about me so much. It's sweet. I'm very lucky that he is my best friend! He rushed me off to a seat in the shade and went and got some food. I was just fine after that. It was a little scary though, pre-op the sun and lack of food did not bother me like that. I definitely need to pay more attention to that! We stayed on Peachtree St. right in the heart of downtown Atlanta. We stayed in this beautiful hotel that was actually a remodelled mansion or apartment or something. We both fell in love with Atlanta. Since we were in downtown, we walked all over everywhere...even to a club...where we stayed until 4:00 in the morning! LOL! Sunday morning we got up at the crack of dawn (ok 8:00am...but it sure felt like dawn!). We went to Sharon's house (the AKC board member's house). We got to meet the dogs and pups. We were there for several hours, and learned a LOT! (And also made up our mind that we want one!!!) It was such a great (but brief) trip!!!

Ok, I have been on my period non-stop since my surgery 4 months ago. I made an appt. with Dr.Anderson. He is the ob/gyn that Dr.Olsen called in during my surgery when he discovered a large tumor on my uterus. (SURPRISE!) So anyways, Dr.Anderson determined that it is a benign fibroid the size of a 15 week old fetus. Nice. So I can't have kids until it is removed. I was thinking ok, I can have this removed when I have a TT. Well, when I went in to see Dr.Anderson he put me on a hormone pill for a week and this type of birth control called Nuvaring (a vaginal ring). Fun. Well, a few days later I was coming into intense pain and passing huge blood clots. (sorry that's graphic) I called the ob/gyn's office crying my eyes out cause I was hurting so bad and they called in a muscle relaxer (which as it turns out, did not work on me because it was meant to be absorbed in the small intestine and NOT the stomach). By this time I was taking tylenol like crazy! By the following weekend I could barely stand to lay down, let alone, sit, or stand. Either way, Saturday night Josh took me to a movie (against his better judgement, I think). It was 2 hours of hell for me...but I'm a very stubborn person. My mom had given me some Tylenol 3 pills to take however they were in the car. I was hurting so bad that by the time we got to his car I was shaking and fully sweating (like I had run a marathon). I busted into tears, I just could not stop crying. Josh had to take my pill crusher away and get my medicine ready for me. He took me to his apartment, bundled me into the bed and cuddled me to sleep. Sunday was even worse for me...total hell. Josh took me to the ob/gyn on Monday, it was all I could do to get out of bed that day! The ob/gyn prescribed some liquid Hydrocodone and set up an appointment for a pelvic MRI. Tuesday was one long drug induced stupor. Wednesday Josh drove me to my MRI...I lasted about 5 minutes on that hard table before I panicked and tried to claw my way out of the machine. I was hurting sooo badly. So my ob/gyn sent me for a pelvic ultrasound...he obviously was not listening when I told him how badly my hips are hurting! On top of all of that I have a urinary tract infection, which is making my hips hurt that much worse. Although, things are getting better for me and I have an appointment scheduled with another ob/gyn for a second opinion. Last weekend, 4th of July, I decided I would not let a little pain stop me from enjoying my holiday weekend. And for the most part, it didn't. Josh and I drove to Gatlinburg for the weekend. My grandparents live there, and my parents had driven up there for the weekend as well. Saturday when we got to Gatlinburg we met up with my parents and hung out waiting for the Midnight Parade to begin. That was truly alot of fun. Although my hips started hurting so badly that Josh took off back to the car and got my medicine for me. That was sweet. I am so grateful for such a wonderful best friend, he has really taken care of me. Saturday, we all went to my grandparents house for lunch, that was a lot of fun and we wnt riding on the boat. That night Josh and I went back to our hotel room and played in our jacuzzi for a couple of hours. That really made my hips feel good! No pain what so ever! We came back home Monday afternoon. It was a nice relaxing weekend. Just what I needed! The funny thing about Josh...we were together ALL weekend, and as soon as he got home...he called me and kept me on the phone till I literally fell asleep! LMAO! He's a great friend! Even if he does worry about me too much!

7-21-04 - Well, I am now 5 months post-op (as of last week..haha) and I am down 120 lbs.! It's incredible! I'm feeling so much better now! Life just keeps getting better. I am pain free now. I did go for my second opinion with the ob/gyn. He told me to stay away from hormone pills and prescribed birth control. Evidently it has an adverse effect on me..I guess it inflames my tumor. Well, fine by me! I do not want to experience that kind of pain ever again! I have decided to switch to this doctor...he was really great! Plus, he says if I think I can stand to wait to have surgery, he will go in and remove the tumor at the same time as my TT!!-and he will even refer me to his PS! How cool is that? He knows my surgeon very well, so that really helped too.
I had a pretty big thing happen this weekend...I put on 2 size 20 summer dresses-and they fit! I also put on a pair of size 20 leather pants!-and they were too big! Holy CRAP!!! Granted it is 90 degrees here so I won't get to wear them by the time it is cool enough to go out in them..but still!!! I haven't worn 20s since I was like 18! Woohoo!
I was brushing my teeth the other morning and I glanced up and didn't recognize myself. It was so odd seeing a stranger looking back at me. It was also slightly distressing. I mean really, I don't know why. I've lost 120 lbs., why in the world would I not expect to eventually 'see' the difference. That whole day was an odd one for me, I had constant tears in my eyes...and I had to struggle with whether I like the way I look (ok that took a little longer to deal with). Anyways, I got my pics from Atlanta developed...and I have decided that I DO like this new face. I guess that sounds a little silly, but it was a little issue that I had to deal with. Really though, I should have been thinking 'would I rather have a face as big around as a pumpkin?'. I was slightly disappointed when I compared my 5 month pics to my befores though. I thought losing 120 lbs. would make a more drastic difference...but I do still have 100 lbs. to go. There is a huge difference in my face and all, but I just don't see it in my body, yet. I'll just have to give it time. I am not ungrateful, and I am not complaining...not by ANY means, I am just stating the issues that I am dealing with...and will continue to deal with, I guess.

08-16-04 - Today is my 6 month anniversary. Wow. I can't believe it. Time is really flying by. I am down 127 lbs. I It's amazing how much has happened to me in such a short period of time. I am definitely dealing with self image issues. All of those post-op people that said the head issues were harder than the weight issues were absolutely right. I get that now. Fortunately I have wonderful supportive friends and family. That has helped so much.
I'm ready to start dating now. I'm working on my confidence levels. It is rather disconcerting having guys pay attention to me now...or even notice me for that matter. lol. We'll see how this whole dating thing works out.

08-31-04 - I had my 6 month check up with Dr.Olsen. I have lost 60% of my excess body weight and am down 136 lbs. Crazy! Dr.Olsen expected me to lose 50% of my excess weight by 6 months, so he was thrilled with my succes. lol. He called me a 'poster child for weight loss surgery'! That is awesome, he doesn't give compliments lightly, so that really made me feel good. They took blood while I was there to check my vitamin levels, etc. My iron is 5% below normal (which didn't surprise me since I was bleeding soo heavily for nearly 6 months straight..Thank God that is finally straightened out though!). So I am taking extra iron to get those levels back up. My nutritionist also told me to start eating some fresh fruits and veggies in order raise my potassium some. No problem, I wouldn't mind eating a banana every now and then.
I am moving in with Josh on the 14th..that is exactly 2 weeks away! We are both soo excited! We are still getting a Welsh Terrier, however we decided to wait until around the end of November.so we would have time to adjust to living together, etc. I think Josh is a little worried that I might get sick of being around him, for whatever reason..lol. We practically already live together, and are together around the clock (except when at work) and I'm not sick of him yet. Besides, I would just get out of the house for a bit or go to another area of the house, no problem. He's silly. I suppose, I could worry about the same thing..but he's not gotten sick of me yet. lol.
Oh!! I'm wearing 18s now! I'm excited about that! I put on a pair of jeans that I wore in high school yesterday! I was soo tickled! lol. I just stood there and laughed. I don't have too many pairs of 18s so I am wearing alot of 20s but they are too big. I've noticed that I am wearing cuter clothes now. Lots of cute little skirts and tops, etc. I haven't had to buy too much, unless I see something that I really want. My friend Kristina has sent me soo many clothes. She is just awesome. I bought my first pair of Old Navy jeans 3 weeks ago. I was so excited. Of course, they are already getting too big..I can take them off without unbuttoning them. Oh, well. lol.

09-14-04 - Well, I am experiencing something HUGE this week! I am moving into an apartment with my best friend, Josh. We are both so excited! I worked my tail off last weekend cleaning my parents' house, doing there laundry (they were in East TN visiting my grandmother...so I wanted to help them out some), and packing all of my stuff up. I moved all of my boxes up 3 flights of stairs to our third floor apartment. I'm so very proud of myself, too. I helped Josh move into this apartment 2 years ago...I thought I was going to DIE then climbing all of those stairs! Not this time, granted it wasn't fun...but I was just fine! Woohoo! Yet another little victory! I swear it's all of the little things that add up that really remind me of what a great thing this surgery has been for me..not that I need a reminder! lol. I will be officially moved in on the 18th (after the Walk from Obesity event) when I get all of my guy friends together to move my furniture. Yeah! I'm ready to get this move over with and get settled in. :o)
I now weigh 207 lbs!!! Holy crap!!! I am only 6 lbs away from being down 150 lbs..it's been not quite 7 months! That is just incredible! 7 lbs from the 200 mark. I haven't been this light since I was like 17-18 years old! Woo!! (Can you tell how excited I am?) I know I should not fixate on the numbers..but this is a big landmark, and I can't wait to get passed it! I think I had better hide my scales or else I will be on it every 15 minutes until I hit those landmarks! LOL! I told Josh that he should antipate waking up one morning to my screams of joy and seeing me jumping up and down...then proceeding to cry like a little baby. lol. At least that was my reaction when my scale hit 299 lbs! lol. I'm sure my Mom thought I was nuts then..I can only imagine what Josh will think! HAHA!
I have a support group meeting tonight. I know they are very important to my long term success (as well as my immediate success), but all I want to do is go to my new home and work on getting settled. However, Dr. Olsen would kick my tail if I missed a meeting (added incentive NOT to miss..haha), plus I would miss out on seeing how great all of my weight loss acquaintances look (as well as showing off a little, myself!).
I know I have said this before..along with every other member of this site...but I am so grateful for all of the love and support that I have found here!

10-01-04 - OMG! I weigh 199 lbs! I just can NOT believe it! It's crazy! I have lost 152 lbs in 7.5 months! WOW! That is a whole person. 10 lbs more and will have lost a whole Josh! LMAO! (that's what he said, anyway) Sunday morning, I woke up early because I was excited about going to the Titans game and wanted hurry up and make breakfast for Josh and get ready to go. Well, I weighed myself and absolutely FREAKED! lol. I went running through the house and jumped in the middle of the bed so I could wake Josh up and tell him. Fortunately he just got excited with me instead of getting pissed off for being so rudely awakened! lol. I am just thrilled. I haven't been under the 200 mark in a good 7 years.

Things are going great living with Josh. Our furniture is being delivered tomorrow morning, we are looking forward to that. I have been a little depressed recently. I haven't experienced that in awhile. Usually I am so busy that I don't have time to think about things and get all down. I started thinking about how I have lost 150 lbs and am still single. Made me feel lonely. I have Josh, and I love Josh very much..but I don't know that anything will come of it. Plus I don't think it would be right for me to spend my life waiting for him to decide. Anyways, I just wanted to share that..with myself or whoever may decide to take the time to read this really looong journal. lol I'm mostly over the little funk that I was having. I got drunk. How responsible was that? Man, they weren't kidding when they said we become cheap drunks. A shot of tequila and I was absolutely smashed. I got giggly, danced, had a good time, cried in Josh's arms (Good Lord! why he puts up with me...?) then fell asleep in Josh's arms. I'm better now. lol. I don't think alcohol was the best solution to my little funk, but it worked this time anyway.

10-26-04 - Well this has been an interesting past few weeks. I had my first plateau. Took me 3 weeks to get past that sucker! I was not happy about that. My weight would fluctuate a bit. I didn't panic or get depressed though. I just figure I am fortunate that it was my first, and didn't last that long. I just kept doing what I am supposed to be doing:exercising, good food choices (ok, not always...I'm not perfect...I'm human, and I don't beat myself up for that), water, protein, vitamins, etc.

Josh and I have been living together for a month and a half now. We are so happy living together, and I am so thrilled about that. Granted we were already pretty much living together before I moved in, but there was a small part of me that was worried that things would go bad. We do everything together. We go to clubs (dancing..me! lol), the symphony, the movies, or stay in and rent movies, shopping, exercise, cook, clean..everything together.
This past weekend was very busy, as always. Thursday night we went to the movies to see The Forgotten (which scared the crap out of both of us!), Friday night we went to here the Nashville Symphony perform Tarangalila (we LOVED it!), Saturday we went to his family's house for dinner then Josh, his brother Jacob and I all went to see our friend's band play at a local club. Later that night we went to another club. lol. Not sure what will happen with that, we'll see. Anyways, the 3 of us stayed out really late and crashed at Jacob's house that night. Josh and I didn't get home until 11:30 Sunday morning. LOL. Sheesh. We were so tired that we went home and took a nap. After our nap we got up went and exercised (I changed my routine, instead of 8 miles on the bike, I do 30 minutes on the stairmaster..talk about a workout!!!), showered..then Josh took me out to dinner and to see Shall We Dance, which we both loved!
Well, that's a pretty average weekend for us. Can't believe how much my life has changed since this time last year. I was pretty much living on this website, absorbing as much info about wls as possible and flipping through all of the wonderful before and after pics. I would only go out on the weekends if my friends made me...I would never have DARED to step foot in a club, let alone shake my ass! Having guys hit on me or even smile at me was something that only happened in my imagination. Certainly having someone that I am interested in express interest back has NEVER happened to me before in my life! My head is still spinning about that..lol.
I am wearing 16s now. I actually have some 14s that I can wear also, but mostly I am wearing 16s. Kristina has sent more clothes. She is just awesome, definitely my angel! I am working on collecting 10s, 12s, and 14s since I seem to be going through clothing sizes faster now. I am going to need clothes that fit...so I am shopping the clearance racks. Oh yeah, last weekend I bought my very first matching bra and panty set! It's a cute little see through camouflage type thing...so cute! Josh loved it. lol. I also bought some cute little Superman underoos! I've wanted some since I saw Cameron Diaz wearing them on Charlie's Angels. Well, now I've got 2 pairs of my own!!! So cute! For the first time in my life, I actually felt cute being nearly naked in my undies! That was a really cool feeling.

Well, I have 44 lbs more to go before I get to my first goal of 150..then I start looking for a PS. After losing 156 lbs...44 lbs doesn't seem like much at all! lol. I know that weight loss slows as you get farther out, I know mine has...so I'm wondering when I will get there. For that matter, I wonder what size I will be wearing around x-mas time!!!

12-05-04
Well, my 9 month anniversary has come and gone. I can't believe it has been 9 months already! I had my 9 month check-up with Dr. Olsen the day before Thanksgiving. At 9 months out I was down to 185 lbs for a loss of 176 lbs!! Woohoo! Dr. Olsen said that I have lost 77% of my excess body weight and that if I didn't lose another lb. he would still consider me a success. That's nice to hear but I told him that I'm not done yet! lol While I was at my check-up I asked Dr. Olsen to check out my stomach cause it's really hard and big...I look like I am 7-8 months pregnany (literally, I've had strangers ask me when I'm due!!! grrr). So I layed back on the table and Dr. Olsen felt up my gut. He said that it is definitely NOT normal and scheduled me for a CT scan for the Monday after the holiday weekend.
I went to my grandparents house for Thankgsiving. It was not a fun weekend overall. My grandmother has terminal cancer and it is so hard to see her as she is...so full of pain that she has to stay on morphine and various other meds, that she talks out of her head and generally doesn't have a clue what's going on. It breaks me heart. Also, I missed Josh terribly being away from him for 5 days. It surprised me just how much I missed him. I think missing me surprised him too. While I was in East TN I went and visited a breeder that Josh and I were interested in getting a puppy from. They were so cute! Little Miniature Schnauzers...sweet little puppies! Josh told me to go ahead place a deposit if I decided I wanted to get one. So I did! We are getting a little black and silver miniature schnauzer. We haven't picked out a name yet...us geminis...kind of hard to make a decision, sometimes. lol
The Monday after Thanksgiving I went for my CT scan, then the next day followed up with Dr. Olsen to see what was going on with my stomach. He said it's a massive tumor. Then told me that he had already called and set up an appt for me to go see a gynocological oncologist by the name of Dr. Wheelock. I was trying very hard to hold it together, but I was freaking OUT on the inside. So this tumor I have it MASSIVE. It starts under my just below my ribs extends down to my uterus (where it started, they believe) and goes from one hip to the other. HUGE. When I lay on my back it sticks up really big and you can see it. ugh. Anyways, I went directly to Dr. Wheelock's office from my follow-up visit with Dr. Oslen. At Dr. Wheelock's office he examined the tumor then immediately scheduled me for surgery. Monday, December 06, 2004. Holy crap! That was only 6 days away. My head was spinning and I was trying so hard to stay calm. I didn't think to ask any of the inportant questions such as how long is recovery time, how long will I be in the hospital, how long will I be out of work? He set my up for a vaginal ultrasound and an MRI (which I didn't do...I'm claustrophobic..no way am I going to willingly be strapped to a table and shoved in a tunnel!). The past week has flown by. I have to call all of my loved ones and tell them the 'wonderful' news and try to get as much done as possible since I will be out of commission fo the next few weeks. I got my house clean, the laundry done, a couple of meals made up for Josh, x-mas shopping done and gifts wrapped. Josh has been such a loving sweet guy taking care of me and babying me. I don't know what I'd do without him now. So, today is Sunday. It's the day before my surgery. I've had 2 drink 2 liters of Go-lytely prescription laxative. O..M..G! Nasty. It has definitely done it's duty. I also have to take a Fleets Enema tonight before bed. Gross. Anyways. I'm scared, nervous and worried. But, thankful that I have Josh and my friends and family to support me. Oh I'm guessing this stress has my metabolism in over drive because I have lost an additional 5 lbs in the past few days so I am now down to 179 lbs putting me at a loss of 172 lbs!!! Yay! I'm trying to look on the brightside of the situation so I am curious to see what my weight will be after this surgery, and how many inches I will drop. We shall see...

01-20-05
Well, it has been 6 weeks since I had the tumor removed. The tumor was a 10 lbs benign fibroid that originated on my uterus. Ewww. It was the same tumor that Dr. Olsen discovered during my gastric bypass operation. It had grown very rapidly over the last 6 months or so. I was so very scared before this surgery. I wasn't nervous at all about my wls. I wanted it and there were no second thoughts for me. I also had never had surgery before and didn't know what kind of pain to expect. My wls was performed laproscopically. I knew that with the tumor removal I would be cut from sternum to just above my pubic area. I was so scared about the pain...plus I'm so happy with my life that I didn't want to jeopardize it. Well, my surgery was SO easy. Very minimal pain...like WAY less than with my gastric bypass! I was all alert and feeling just fine in the recovery room. I didn't even touch my morphine pump the last 2 days that I was in the hospital. I never did open up my bottle of Oxycodone. lol. Also, I got to keep all of my parts, so maybe I'll get to have babies one day afterall! I'm so thankful that it is just over and done with! Josh was absolutely wonderful. He really took very good care of me. You know anesthesia always has the sappy affect on me. Seriously, like when it finally leaves my system I have this big breakdown. Josh was there to get me through this one. He was helping me take a shower after he got me home...there I was standing in the shower while he washed my hair for me and I just started crying like a baby. He showed me just how much he really loves me throughout all of this...and that just overwhelms me. I've never had anything like this! It's pretty incredible. I healed really well, and swiftly too. Thank God!

So, I was out of work for 6 weeks. My checkbook was not happy with me. lol. That's ok though. Josh is a teacher so I got to spend the whole 2 week x-mas vacation with him instead of just one week with him. We got a puppy, finally. lol. We got a little black and silver miniature schnauzer named Rimski. He is SUCH a mess and we love him very much. Josh managed to get me hooked on this computer RPG called Everquest 2. Ugh...I am obsessed with that game now..dang it! lol. I did a LOT of shopping over the past 6 weeks. (everybody got my gift cards to various stores for x-mas. YAY!) So I hit all of the clearance sales at Old Navy, American Eagle, Gap, Aeropostale and Victoria's Secret. Woohoo! After the swelling went down post surgery I discovered that I had gone from a 16 to a 12 (10s are just a bit snug..but still! I can button and zip 10s ..and am still able to breath/sit etc.! lol). I learned that I can shop wherever I want to now..and I'm not looking for the largest size on the rack either! That is just the coolest thing ever! I actually bought sexy lingerie from Victoria's Secret for the first time ever! (that was on my to do list! so I marked that off. lol) I bought lots of cute undies, a GREAT push up bra (that makes me look like I still have breasts! thanks Michelle for the recommendation) and a sexy little teddy with matching thong to surprise Josh with on the night that all of my post-tumor restrictions were lifted. (geez, 6 weeks of forced abstinance just sucks! Especially, when you feel just fine and all!)
Christmas was ok. It had it's good and not so good moments. Like, my mom had part of her lung removed the week after my surgery (she's doing very well and was released to go back to work the same week as I was). She was released from the hospital 2 days before x-mas so she was quite obviously not up for travelling to East TN to visit my Grandparents for x-mas...which is our usual tradition. This was doubly sad since this will be grandmothers last x-mas due to her cancer. So on x-mas eve Josh and I went to my mom's house where I prepared x-mas dinner to be cooked the next day and spent some quality time with the family. Then x-mas morning Josh and I got up and went to his family's house for breakfast and gift exchanges. That afternoon we went to my mom's house for x-mas dinner. My step-dad had gone ahead and cooked the stuff the casseroles that I had prepared to be cooked, so there was nothing left to do when we got there except eat. lol. It felt pretty sad that I couldn't be there with my grandparents but sadly my grandmother didn't even know it was x-mas anyway. X-mas night Josh and I exchanged our gifts and spent the rest of the evening enjoying each others company. The next day we went to my father's house where Josh met all of my family at my dad's house. (he actually met my dad for the first time while I was in the hospital) We spent the whole day there and then my dad took all of us out for dinner. Everybody got along really well and I think dad really liked Josh..so that was cool. Then Josh and I went to East TN to visit my grandparents. That was pretty stressful for me. It's so hard seeing my grandmother like she is now. She is on so much morphine that she does crazy stuff and talks to and about stuff that no one has any clue about. So it was all in all a bittersweet x-mas holiday for me, with it's ups and downs. Josh was with me through it all and that was wonderful.
I am now 11 months post-op. What a crazy year it has been! I have lost 189 lbs, gained a self esteem and lots confidence in myself, happiness, courage to do and work for what I want (i.e moved in with Josh, now dating Josh..blah blah blah). This journey is WAY better than I ever imagined that it could ever possibly be. Seriously. I followed up with Dr. Olsen 2 weeks ago and he told me then that I am ready for plastics now. Wow! I told him that I would like to try and get to 140 first (or late spring to early summer..whichever comes first) then start plastics. He said that's probably a good idea since I just had surgery, but that I can go ahead and start looking into it. He also told me that I stand a good chance of insurance covering it since I have so MUCH skin to get rid of..also to keep in mind that all of this skin may keep me from getting to 140 first. I'd like to try anyway though. So I have gone from 351 lbs to 162 lbs in the past 11 months..how crazy is that??? I'm not complaining at..all. LOL! In fact I have a huge grin on my face as I typed that! I LOVE my life, myself, my boyfriend, my puppy, my apartment. I never in a million years dreamed that life could be this good. (not saying that everything is ALL roses, cause it's not..lol..but I'm HAPPY...and it makes everything seem not so bad)

05-26-05
Ok, so I have turned into a postie who got a life and stopped updating my profile every other day. lol. Everything is pretty much the same here. My weight is right about the same as in January. It fluctuates occasionally depending on the time of the month and whether I stress out and grab more oreos than I should. (bad Brandi, lol) I still exercise a few times a week. I love the stairmaster! I always feel soo good when I get done exercising. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon in April. It was a very discouraging experience for me and me very depressed for awhile. It made me realize that I have been very hard on myself since my skin has sagged so very much. I had been telling myself all along that I would look good once the plastics were done. Why not now??? Once I realized that I most likely not be having plastics covered by insurance, I was pretty devastated. I have been working dillegently at not allowing myself to beat myself up over some excess skin. I feel better about myself, I am stil not crazy about the exces skin...but am coping and accepting that I look just fine inspite of the skin. Josh has been a huge help as well, so supportive. Now, I feel like..I would be happy to have plastic surgery, but I'm just fine if I don't have surgery also. I'm very proud of how far I have come in dealing with that issue, it's still there but coming under control, and no longer such a major concern.
So what else has happened in Brandi-land since January...
My Grandmother lost her battle with Cancer in February. Mothers has always been my #1 cheerleader, supporter and now she is gone. I honestly don't feel that I would have done as well with my wls, if not for having her there to pick up my pieces as I dealt with al of those huge issues as a new postie. For so long, it was easy to pretend that everything was ok, an that she was really ok...because she lived so far away and I could only come visit every other weekend. However, the weekend before she passed was the hardest of all, because she was so far gone that she didn't even know who I was. That crushed me. She was in so much pain and agony, that it was almost a relief when she left. It kills me to say that, but hurt more to see her in so much pain. She is in a better place now, and I only hope that she is always there smiling and proud of me.
I have stayed the same since January as far as weight/sizes, etc. I am wearing 10/12 and L/XL depending on the brand. This is very exciting. I bought my first bathing suit that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in! (new experience there! lol)My hair is finaly growing in and looks like crapola for the moment, even trade off though in my opinion..which is why I don't complain about hair loss.
Everything is going so well with Josh and I. We are still very much happy together and little Rimksi is now 6 months old! He's a rotten little schnauzer whom we both love to pieces and spoil rotten.
Josh was in the hospital back at the end of March. Scary incident. One morning he coughed up a little blood so I called the doctor and made him go. He called me up and said that they had found multiple blood clots in both lungs and he was being admitted to the hospital. Scary! (I didn't sleep for 3 weeks after surgery because I was so scared of blood clots!) He is one of the healthiest people I know (non-smoker, daily exercise, balanced diet, etc.) so we were both slightly freaked out. He is ok though. He is now on blood thinners. It appears that it was hereditary. They will be testing his blood several times over the next year, and if all looks well after a year then he can come off of the thinners. Either way, I'm just thankful that he is ok and nothing major came of the blood clots!
I'm just going to raise my hand now and admit that I have become a grazer. (ack!) I haven't gained weight, but it still concerns me. I try to limit/avoid snacking...but it's a boredom/stress thing at work. Grr. And it just so happens that my Mother (whom I work with) keeps a massive jar of pretzels on her desk. I get a generous handful in the late morning and late afternoon...and try to avoid her desk the rest of the day. My real weakness is oreos. If I buy a package of oreos, I can't seem to say no to it. So I don't buy them, except for on rare occasions and then only 1 indivual size package. I've also descovered Diet Dr.Pepper here recently. I like it...too much, in my opinion. So, I'm going to stop buying those except for on rare occasions. I think denying myself is stupid...but endulging too often is even worse. A happy medium is what I'm looking for...so far so good, I think.
Anyways, I love this site, and still visit several times a week, even if I don't update my profile NEARLY often enough.

08-10-06
I can't believe it's been over a year since I updated my profile. lol I'm such a slacker. About 2 and a half months after my last post I discovered another tumor on my uterus. I had surgery 08/01/05 and a tumor the size of a soccer ball was removed from my uterus. That's just nuts. In 6 months my tumor had grown back. I came through that just fine, no complications. We bought a house last summer also. We actually moved our stuff in the weekend before my surgery, and I got to sleep in my home for one night before I went into the hospital. We did manage to get everything unpacked and arranged for the most part, so it was nice coming home from the hospital knowing that I wouldn't be able to really help. We love our house. It's a small cottage style home with a fenced back yard. Perfect for us. It's a dog lover's neighborhood and it is a lot of fun taking Rimski for walks where he can meet and greet all of the other doggies.
After my last tumor was removed, I lapsed out of my exercise routine. I also really got into snacking. I gained 16 lbs back. I've been trying to lose that extra 16 lbs for the past 8-9 months. It's hard work. I have to really watch what I eat, stick to a mostly Atkins diet and my doctor's office has had me switch from the stair master to the treadmill w/ incline. Evidently my body grew very tolerant to my stair climbing. lol Anyways, that seems to be working some. At least my clothes are looser, though the scale is just kind of going down for a few days then going back to 178 for a few days. Grrr. I watch my snacking big time, sometimes it feels like my cravings = subconsciously trying to sabotage myself. I just can't let that happen! I guess I fully understand now what Dr. Olsen has been saying, that the struggle with my weight will never just 'go away'. But I have a tool to assist me with that, I just have to remain vigilant. It's so much easier to say that than to act on it though, and t