catherineangel

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Well still between 341 and 345 argggghghhhh - not happy about that... but I had a great weekend! Lots of dancing and fun and driving and a great time overall with old friends.

Why is it so cold? 


Thanking God for all the issues in my life and around my life. Thanking God for the weight loss and for where I am. I forgot for a minute that I've come a long way. Once I was over 400 pounds, and now I am 341! THANK YOU GOD! AND THANK YOU DR. ANDREI.

Another weekend of the usual except the nausea has gotten considerably better. Now the period is here (sorry too much info), and I feel like a blimp that's ready to fly away. Great news! Since surgery and birth control pills, period is flowing regularly - I am down to 382 pounds I think..my scale at home says 377, but I prefer to add 5 pounds because that way I won't be disappointed when I weigh in at my dr's office.

Thursday I go for my endoscopy. Hopefully everything is alright. I was able to eat some chicken over the weekend and I've mainly been having mashed potatoes. Eating, I suspect, will always be an issue for me. Learning balance, nutrition and being honest with my self are other things I need to continue to learn. There is no quick fix. Whilst this surgery has taught me a lot about myself, my compulsive eating, my need for everything right now, it's also taught me to slow down. Enjoy eating what I can eat. Enjoy the feeling of satiety after a few bites. Enjoy the company of family and friends more than the company of food. Enjoying cooking again although it's mainly for my husband. He has been entirely too supportive for me to neglect him. NEVER!

And so tonight, with the labour of love, I've cooke beouf bourginon for him. It's simmering in the oven as we speak...hopefully it comes out delicious. I want him coming home to a delicious meal and a loving wife that's getting cuter by the second. Too bad it's the monthly flow time otherwise it would be on like popcorn...ha ha ha..I haven't used that phrase in forever! Lol...

Feeling good today inspite of the diarrhhea..drinking more water..eating a little more frequently and desiring to get stronger.

This picture makes me so happy and when you've had a recovery like I've had the best thing to do is to focus on happier times and to focus on getting better. I am about the size I was in this picture - I think..and over the last few weeks when my health and everything has seemed to taken a turn towards the worst, it helps to have a supportive person in my life.

So the morale of my story is if at first you don't succeed keep trying. The morale of my story is that I AM responsible for my self, for the food I put into my mouth and for the actions I pursue. I think my weight loss has slowed down.  I went for a walk today and felt really good.  I took my time, sat for a minute and enjoyed the view of the bay. Listened to some great music, cooked and I am now blogging. I paid more attention to what I ate and how I felt and decided against the feeling of fullness.

I am a little tired now, but it's a good tired, it's a tired I haven't felt in a while. I am not happy about the antibiotics the dr. put me on but I only have 2 more days..god willing. I think my immune system is week..and why wouldn't it be? I was able to get more liquid in today and yesterday and even though I might be the only one responding to my own emails, I will keep writing because maybe there are true friends out there...maybe I will make a great friend like I made over 15 years ago who doesn't live over the waters somewhere. Maybe I will find someone who is truly caring, compassionate and a little crazy who just sincerely wants to be sincere. Man it's hard to find here. It's hard to find. I must believe that the good Lord brought me here for a reason and so may I see with His eyes and hear with his ears. He knows how long this journey has been for me.

And so with that I sign off...the rambler is getting pooped out... :)