STARTING THE LONG JOURNEY

Dec 31, 2008

Had my first meeting with the surgeon, Dr Kahn, @ Baystate, I really liked him and his nurse. I also met with the nutritionist and liked her also. Actually all the staff we met there were very friendly and supportive. Now I have to have the psych eval and am waiting for them to call with a date. In the mean time I am learning not to drink with meals and CHEW CHEW CHEW! It's not as easy as it sounds! will write again later.
01/03/2005- i will have my third appt w/dr k, at the end of this month. I am drinking my water and slow eating and chewing and all. i will follow to the tee as not to postpone anything. I am hoping that maybe I will get a date at this appt. but i wont get my hopes up to high. will write again later.
1/4/05 Now I have to see the Phych Dr. for evaluation, I hope that goes alright!
2/2/05 Well saw the Psych Dr and she feels I should see a Therapist for a while. Great now this is going to make it so much longer.!
3/12/05 Been seeing the therapist and I really like her and have felt it has done a lot of good. She at least assures me I am not crazy!! LOL! But she did say I have to continue with the sessions until 6/1 and then go back to the Psych Dr. Oh well!
6/02/05 Got cleared from the Psych Dr so now we can apply for approval!!
9/15/2005 it's been a while since I have updated. mMany things have happened. Got approved by MA HEALTH then 2 weeks later got a letter saying my MASS HEALTH was ending for financial reasons, then after talking with several people from MA HEALTH got that straightened out. Then I got my date!!! NOVEMBER 8TH!!!
I AM FLOATING ON AIR!! It seems so far away but I know it will be here soon. I am drinking my water and chew chew chewing. We just bought a house so there's lots of work to do and that is keeping me busy and giving me lots of exercises! I'll update again soon. Keep me in your prayers!
10/24/05 Had my first of 2 pre op appts. the Dr. wants an echo cardiogram done d/t phen/phen program I was on years ago. So I have to have that on Thursday. Just another hoop to jump through. I have my blood work and all that done on Wednesday. then the echo on Thursday and THEN!! a week from Tuesday! I am so so excited. I am not nervous or afraid at all. Will let you know how I make out on the Echo! Keep me in your prayers!
10/31/2005 Happy Halloween!! Had my ECHO and the Dr called my today to tell me that everything looked GREAT!! I am so excited! ONE WEEK from tomorrow! See you all on the other side!!
11/08/05 Good morning to you! Well in 30 mins I will be on my way to the hospital. I am so excited! This is like Christmas morning! My poor husband is so nervous, and I think he thinks I'm crazy not to be. But he doesn't really understand what it's been like to live in this body. He says he does but... Anyway, God is with me and I will do well. Thank you all for your kind wishes & prayers. Will up date next week. Blessed Be!
11/08/05 WELL, IT'S ME, MY SURGERY WAS CANCELLED. I AM SO SO UPSET. I had the IV in and the IV Ansef done and the heprin given cleared by anesthesia. It's my fault, I didn't see the bowel prep on the letter from the Office. I can't believe I was that stupid not to see it and didn't drink my cit of mag yesterday. and Dr. Kuhn was worried that there would be stool in the intestines and be a problem, I have a hernia also and he told me he wants to try and take care of both problems at the same time. So I called the Office and Bernedette (RN) said it probably wont be until January! Please keep me in your prayer that it will be sooner. I really am ready and don't want to have to Wait till January. Well, I will update as I can. Make good wishes for me.
11/15/05 Well I got my new date.. January 31st. this has been oneweek from HELL! I have no one to blame but my self and I do blame myself, I can not understand how I missed the sentence to take the bottle of Cit of Mag, but I did and I have to pay the consequences. now I have to start the count down all over again and continue to do as well as I had been doing. I am very disappointed in myself. 76 days. later.....
01/18/06 Well, here I am again, had appointment with surgeon today and my pre-op testing AGAIN! he wants me to start drinking "slim fast low carb" only for the next 2 weeks and h2o in between. nothing else. I have heard some of the doctors are doing this and I totally understand the reasoning behind it but i have to tell you, I am really having a terrible time drinking this stuff. I have never been a frappe/milkshake consistency person, so I came home today with the slim fast and poured it in ice cube trays thinking I love frozen things and this will be a breeze! WELL, it isn't! They taste like chalk, I bought chocolate as I love anything chocolate but I should tell you I have never done anything with artificial sweetener. Mainly because I was told years ago but my Oncologist to stay away from them, so I did, and now I now the other reason I never drank anything with it! The taste is a killer!! I know my life will always be artificially sweetened from here on in but please say a prayer I can get past the taste!
He also said there is a chance that he may not be able to do the surgery d/t past surgeries and the meshing that was used, he said if the intestine is adhered to the mesh he can't touch me. that's all I would need, to wake up in recovery and find out he didn't do the r-n-y! so again please keep me in your prayers.
01/24/06 Well, I have finished all my pre-op visits and am on the cont down! 1 week from today! saw the dietitian and she gave me some samples of protein drinks and I made a passion fruit smoothie today and it was pretty good, I also added some protein powder to boost it and it will take me all day to drink it but I will get all the protein I need. I am so excited to find one that isn't hard to drink.
1/30/06 Well, I am off to surgery in the AM. I am not nervous or anxious, my poor husband and sisters are but I am totally ready and actually can't wait to be on the other side! I did my Bowel Prep not that there was much in there as I have been on nothing but liquids for the last two weeks! Danny took my before pics EEECCCKKK! I have my food diary book, now if it doesn't snow or sleet to much we will be leaving the house at 4:30AM. I am the first case of the day! So, keep me in your prayers, I will update when I come home! God Speed.
WELL, I AM HOME AND THIS WILL BE MY LAST UPDATE. IHAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS SURGERY FOR WELL OVER 5 YEARS AND FINALLY EVERYTHING I THOUGHT FELL INTO PLACE, I JUMPED THROUGH ALL THE HOOPS THEY ASKED ME TOO AND DID EVERYTHING RIGHT ONLY TO WAKE UP TUESDAY MORNING WITH MY SURGEON TELLING ME HE COULD NOT DO THE SURGERY, I HAVE READ ALL THE FORUMS AND PROFILES OF SO SO MANY IN HERE AND I NEVER READ OF ANYONE NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE THIS SURGERY. I FEEL SO BEATEN, SO ANGRY (WITH MYSELF) SO MUCH A FAILURE, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE HAD THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS VERY LONG AND MANY TIMES PAINFUL JOURNEY SNUFFED OUT. I TOLD MY HUSBAND IT IS LIKE CARRYING A CHILD THE FULL NINE MONTHS ONLY TO GO IN AND HAVE THE BABY BORN DEAD. I DON'T THINK I CAN GET MUCH LOWER THAN I AM RIGHT NOW. I DON'T WANT ANYONE "PRAYING" FOR ME AS I HAVE LOST ALL OF WHAT LITTLE HOPE I EVER HAD. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I COULD HAVE POSSIBLE HAVE DONE TO BE PUNISHED LIKE THIS. WHO EVER SENT THIS INCANTATION PLEASE KNOW IT WORKED WELL. YOU WIN, I AM TOTALLY DEFEATED.
THANK YOU - . CATHY D.
11/03/2008 = WELL, HERE I AM AGAIN! AFTER A A YEAR OF NOT HEARING FROM ANYONE AT MY SURGEONS OFFICE, I HAD CALLED THREE TIMES AND LEFT MESSAGES AND FINALLY JUDY CALLED ME BACK (THAT WAS LAST APRIL). NOW I AM HOPING TO HAVE THE SLEEVE. I HAVE REDONE MY PSYCH EVAL AND PASSED! TODAY I WAS CLEARED BY NUTRITION! NOW I HAVE TO WAIT AND PRAY THAT MASS HEALTH AND MEDICAID WILL OK IT. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
11/19/08 WELL, I GOT A CALL FROM THE SURGERY GROUP SAYING THEY WERE STILL WAITING FOR MY PSYCH REPORT AND THAT I SHOULD CALL THEM TO HAVE THEM SEND IT TO BAYSTATE, WHICH I DID AND NOW I WAIT FOR THAT LAST STRING!
11/24/08 JUDY CALLED TO SAY THEY RECEIVED THE REPORT FROM PSYCH AND THAT NOW THEY JUST GET THE DR TO WRITE HIS NOTE AND THEY SEND IT TO THE INSURANCE COMPANY AND IT'S A WAIT AND SEE GAME FROM THERE. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!
12/12/08 WOOOOO HOOOO I GOT A DATE! THE INSURANCE OK'D THE SURGERY AND MY DATE IS JANUARY 13TH! LOTS OF PRE OP STUFF TO DO! I AM SO EXCITED BUT I AM SO SO SCARED THAT IT COULD TURN OUT LIKE THE ATTEMPT AT THE BY PASS SURGERY. I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! THIS IS THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT I COULD HAVE GOTTEN!!
MY HUSBAND AND SISTERS ARE ALL SO EXCITED FOR ME. MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN SUCH A TERRIFIC SUPPORT FOR ME. HE IS ALWAYS THERE AND HELPS KEEP ME ON TRACK! I LOVE HIM DEARLY. SO MY APPT WITH DR KUHN AND VICKIE IS ON 12/26TH!
PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!
 12/16/08 I HAD TO HAVE MY MEDICAL APPT TODAY, THEY LISTENED TO THE LUNGS AND HEART AND THEN DID AN EKG, THEY SAW A GLITCH AND DECIDED I NEED A STRESS TEST WITH MEDS. I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS AS IT COULD HALT THE SURGERY.
WELL, I AM STILL LOSING WEIGHT, I HAD MY APPT WITH DR K AND HE WAS DIRECT AND TO THE POINT. ACTUALLY I FELT LIKE HE WAS TIRED OF SEEING ME. HE SAID IF THIS DOESN'T WORK HE IS "DONE"! THIS IS MY LAST HOPE.
I THEN SAW VICKIE THE NUTRITIONIST AND SHE WAS GREAT. WE WENT OVER ALL THE REQUIREMENTS AND NOW ON TO THE PRE OP VISIT WITH THE NURSE AND AESTH ON TUESDAY.  THEN THE STRESS TEST ON THE 5TH AND PLEASE GOD THE SURGERY ON THE 13TH!

12/30/08 MY APPT WITH THE NURSE AND ANESTH, WENT WELL, THEY DID A 12 LEAD EKG AND IT WAS NORMAL. DREW THE BLOODS AND ALL THAT HAPPINESS. SO NOW ON TO THE STRESS TEST . KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS PLEASE.
1/7/09  I FEEL LIKE SUCH A DUMMY! I CAN NEVER REMEMBER HOW TO GET TO THIS PAGE TO UPDATE MY BLOG!  I WILL HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN!  ANYWAY!  I HAD MY TWO DAY STRESS TEST ND THE EKG PART OF IT WAS FINE, THEY DID FIND SOME SMALL THING THAT MY MEDICAL MD SAID HE WAS NOT OVERLY CONCERNED ABOUT AND THAT HE WOULD PK ME FOR THE SURGERY ON TUESDAY.  IT HAS BEEN THE MOST STRESSFUL TIME IN MY LIFE FOR ME THESE LAST FEW DAYS. AND I FIGURE IF I DIDN'T STROKE OUT OR HAVE A HEART ATTACK I WILL DO JUST FINE!  SO I AM SET FOR TUESDAY MORNING.  I AM SO EXCITED.  BUT THE PISCES IN ME SAYS WAIT FOR THE SECOND SHOE TO DROP AND NEVER COUNT ON ANYTHING UNTIL IT IS ALL OVER!  I WILL WRITE AGAIN ON MONDAY.
1/12/09  WELL, I HAD THE RUG PULLED OUT FROM UNDERNEATH ME AGAIN TODAY!  THE DR'S OFFICE CALLED TO SAY THAT MY SURGERY WAS CANCELLED!  THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST DIDN'T LIKE THAT STRESS TEST RESULTS, AND HE AND MY PCP TALKED AND HE DECIDED HE WOULD NOT DO THE SURGERY.  I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE PUNCHED ME SQUARE IN THE CHEST.  I AM TOTALLY DEVASTATED.  AND DON'T SEE ANYWAY OUT
2/8/2009  SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS.  I SAW THE CARDIOLOGIST AND HE DIDN'T SEE ANY REASON WHY I COULDN'T HAVE THE SURGERY. HE SAID THAT THE TECHS THAT READ THE SCANS OFTEN SEE "SOMETHING" WHEN IN FACT IN OBESE PEOPLE IT IS VERY HARD TO DETECT A PROBLEM IN THE LOWER PART OF THE HEART D/T FAT AND TISSUE ISSUES.  HE ASKED ABOUT ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS AND I DON'T HAVE ANY.  SO  I MET WITH NANCY (RN) AND MY NEW DATE IS MARCH 3RD AT 9 AM.  I HAVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.  I AM SO AFRAID TO GET EXCITED AS I HAVE BEEN THERE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE ONLY TO HAVE THE RUG PULLED OUT FROM UNDER ME.  BUT I WILL DO EVERYTHING I AM SUPPOSE TO AS I WANT NOTHING ELSE TO GO WRONG ON MY END.  I START MY TWO WEEK OF LIQUIDS ON FEBRUARY 16TH. SO MY HUBBY AND I ARE HEADING FOR CAPE COD VALENTINES WEEKEND TO CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAY, HIS B'DAY (15TH) MINE 22ND AND OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IS MARCH 1ST.  SO WE ARE ROLLING THEM ALL INTO THIS WEEKEND,  DAN IS SO SUPPORTIVE, HE HAS PUT UP WITH EVERYTHING AND KEPT ME POSITIVE.  I THANK HIM SO VERY MUCH. WELL, I WILL WRITE AGAIN IN TWO WEEKS.  PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.
3/7/09!!!  WELL, I CAME HOME FROM HOSPITAL YESTERDAY.  MY SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.  THANK GOD AND DRS KUHN AND ROMINELLI!  I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IN THE TWO WEEKS I HAD TO DRINK THE PROTEIN SHAKES AND EAT VERY LITTLE BEFORE SURGERY, MY HEART WAS NOT IN IT AS I WAS WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP LIKE IT HAD IN JANUARY.  AND THAT I WOULDN'T GET EXCITED UNTIL I WOKE UP IN RECOVERY AND TOLD ALL WAS WELL.  AND IT WAS!  I AM SO EXCITED AND CAN'T WAIT TO START LOSING!  THE ONLY OTHER PROBLEM I HAVE, ONE THAT NO ONE EVER MENTIONED AT ANY OF THE MEETINGS, SUPPORT GROUPS OR EVEN ON HERE.  GAS!!!
I DID EVERYTHING THEY TOLD ME TO. I WALKED ALL THE TIME, I WALKED SO MUCH THEY HAD TO TELL ME TO REST.  THEY GAVE ME SIMETHACONE AND IT DIDN'T DO MUCH, THE DOCTOR EVEN ORDERED A SUPPOSITORY TO SEE IF THAT WOULD STIMULATE SOMETHING AND IT DID, A SLIMEY JELLY MUSCUS PLUG! SORRY FOR THE GRAPHICS!  BUT NOT MUCH HELP FOR THE GAS.  I AM WALKING ALL AROUND MY HOME TRYING TO RID IT, BUT IT IS STILL QUITE PAINFUL.  I WILL CONTINUE WORKING ON IT.  BUT IT IS THE ONLY PROBLEM I AM HAVING.  TODAY IT IS BEAUTIFUL OUT AND I AM GOING TO GET DRESSED AND WALK AROUND MY YARD AND PLAN WHERE I AM GOING TO PLANT MY GARDEN!  I WILL UP DATE AGAIN SOON.  CATHY
3/18/09  WELL TWO WEEKS OUT!  I HAVE NO REGRETS!  I WISH I COULD GET MY PROTIEN IN BETTER, BUT MY TASTE BUDS ARE ALL AMUCK!  NOTHING TASTE GOOD.  BUT I AM TRYING.  I HAVE TO SEE THE NUT AND MD TOMORROW.  I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THESE STAPLES OUT!  THEY ARE SO ITCHY AND I AM SOOO AFRAID THAT I WILL PULL ONE OUT IF I SCRATCH WITHOUT THINKING.  I ENDED UP WITH A BOUT OF GOUT AND IN BED FOR A WEEK, SO GETTING AN EXCERCISE WAS OUT OF QUESTION.  SO NOW THAT I AM BACK ON MY FEET MY TREADMILL AND I ARE GOING TO GET REAQUAINTED!  WILL UPDATE NEXT WEEK.  GOD BLESS!
3/31/09  WELL, I AM FOUR WEEKS OUT TOMORROW AND WILL WEIGH MYSELF IN THE MORNING.  I CAN ONLY HOPE IT SHOWS SOMETHING!  I CAN FEEL IT IN MY CLOTHES AND PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T SEEN ME SINCE CHRISTMAS ARE AMAZED.  I WISH I COULD SEE IT! BUT THEY TELL ME I WILL SOON.  I WISH THE WEATHER WAS BETTER SO I COULD GET OUTSIDE AND WALK AND PLANT MY GARDEN. I HAVE TO SAY ONE OF THE THINGS THAT CONTINUES TO BOTHER ME IS I AM ALWAYS COLD.  NO MATTER HOW WARM IT IS IN THE HOUSE I AM STILL FROZEN TO THE BONE.  I TURN THE HEAT UP HIGH AND CLOSE THE BATHROOM DOOR BEFORE I SHOWER AND IT IS LIKE A SAUNA TO EVERYONE ELSE BUT TO ME IT'S STILL FREEZING AND I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS!  I CAN'T WAIT TO GET DRESSED AND EVEN AT TIMES WRAP IN A BLANKET TO HELP WARM UP.  I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS.  BUT I AM SURE IT WILL GO AWAY ALSO.  LIKE THE GAS ISSUE, IT TWO SHALL PASS!  I AM FORCING MYSELF TO GET ALL MY PROTEIN IN EACH DAY AND I AM VERY CAREFUL ABOUT CALORIE COUNT.  I WANT THIS WEIGHT OFF!   [LEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. 
5/2/09 TOMORROW I WILL BE TWO MONTHS OUT FROM SURGERY.  I AM SEEING THE WEIGHT LOSS IN MY CLOTHES BUT NOT MUCH IN POUNDS.  I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO MUCH WALKING AS MY KNEES AND  FEET HURT SO BAD BUT THEY ARE GETTING BETTER AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SOME YARD WORK AND FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT.  AND IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER.  I JUST WISH I COULD SEE IT MORE IN POUNDS.  I WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT STRETCHING THE STOMACH, BUT I KNOW I DON'T EAT ENOUGH TO DO THAT.  I AM STILL ON PUREE WITH SOME CHOPPED FOODS.  I CAN NOT DO BEEF AT ALL  NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CHEW IT, IT DOESN'T LIKE ME.  SO I STAY WITH CHICKEN!  I DO HAVE HOT DOGS ALSO AS THEY ARE REALLY EASY TO CHEW TO DEATH!  THE ONLY SUGAR I DO IS A LITTLE IN MY MORNING TEA.  BUT VERY VERY RARELY DO I DO ANYTHING ELSE SWEET.  FRESH FRUIT IS A LITTLE TOUGH, I SO APPLESAUSE, CANNED PEARS AND PEACHES. VEGGIES ARE ANOTHER BALLGAME. SOME GOOD MOST BAD!  I AM GETTING ALL MY PROTEIN AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER.  TAKING MY VITS AND OFF ALL DIABETIC MEDS, B/P MEDS, GERD, AND FOR THAT I AM THRILLED!  STILL TAKE MY CELEBREX AND NSAIDS FOR KNEE AND FEET PAIN.  WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON
08/04/09 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAVE UPDATED, SO MUCH GOING ON.  WEIGHT LOSS IS SLOW BUT MOSTLY D/T NOT BEING ABLE TO EXCERCISE. MY UNCLE, WHO IS LIKE MY FATHER HAS BEEN TERRIBLE ILL SO I HAVE BEEN SITTING BEDSIDE WITH HIM SINCE APRIL, THEN MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS FOUND DEAD IN HER APPT, WHICH JUST ABOUT KILLED ME. (BUT I WILL SAY I DID NOT GAIN ANY WEIGHT!)(2 YEARS AGO I WOULD HAVE EATEN MYSELF INTO TONHOOD!) SO I AM JUST GETTING BACK ON TRACK AND DOING A LOT MORE AND MORE EXCERCISING. I JUST HAD MY THREE GRANDS WITH ME FOR 2 WEEKS AND ANYONE WITH A 3,5,&12 Y.O. KNOWS HOW MUCH WORK THEY ARE! BUT I LOVE HAVING THEM AND TAKING THEM EVERYWHERE. LOTS OF WALKING AND LOTS OF MOVING AROUND!  SO HOPEFULLY THE WEIGHT WILL START TO COME OFF AGAIN.  MY LIFE HAS BEEN ON HOLD AND NOW I AM GETTING BACK INTO IT. I WILL UPDATE AGAIN.
9/1/09  I AM TWO DAYS SHORT OF 6 MONTHS OUT! DOWN 50 LBS! I AM SO HAPPY. I KNOW IT SHOULD BE MORE BUT WITH ALL THE ISSUES I HAVE HAD IN APRIL, MAY, AND JUNE I AM THRILLED IT'S THIS MUCH! SAW THE DORTOR FRIDAY AND THEY DREW BLOODS, AND HE CALLED ME FRIDAY NIGHT TO SAY I WAS SEVERLY DEHYDRATED AND WITH VERY LOW POTASSIUM.  HE CALLED IN A SCRIPT FOR K+ AND TOLD ME TO DRINK TONS OF WATER.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE AT ALL AS I DRINK GALLONS OF WATER A DAY! I LOVE WATER AND HAVE BOTTLES OF IT ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND AT LEAST 4 BOTTLES IN THE CAR WHEN I GO OUT. SO HOW THE HELL I COULD BE DEHYDRATED IS WELL BEYOND ME! BUT I TAKE THE K+ AND DRINKING MORE WATER AND PEEING UP A STORM! AND I WILL HAVE MORE BLOOD DRAWN THIS WEEK.  WELL, I WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON. BLESSED BE TO ALL.

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