CharTake2

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 I had my sleeve done at Cle Clinic on Monday, Jan 16.  I was crying in the recovery room and cried each time they had to get me up.  I only made it a few feet before I had to turn around and go back to bed.  I used my pain pump every 10 minutes.  When they got me up the next day to go for the barium test (make sure stomach is not leaking), I cried all the way from my room to the barium xray room.  The pain was horrible.  My husband had to take off work to help me get around at home.  He has to help lift me from the bed (and I was 213 #) or from a chair.  He had to wipe my butt today because it hurt too much to get to it.  There is no vanity with this surgery!  

I have a drain that I have to keep in for 8 days.  The experience at the Cle Clinic was stellar but I wish they had some people comng in and talking to you about the pain and discomfort.  I am using Tylenol at home as I don't like Codeine.  I vomit with that.  i am doing my fluids ok and have to up my protein (Hard to get all 60 oz. in).  

No I was not hungry the 2 days in the hospital.  Would I do this again?  I'll let you know a year from from now.

 I am having surgery on Monday, Jan. 16.  Today and tomorrow I am doing the colon cleanse.  I feel weak.  I'm staying hydrated ok.  What worries me the most is one year from now - my surgery anniversary, I know I will be thinner and healthier.  But the vain part of me worries about all the sagging skin.  Darn it, I have saggy boops, belly and rolls of fat on my back.  I can't afford plastic surgery (unless I win the lottery).  How will I ever be naked in front of my husband?  Won't he be grossed out?  I just get sick to my stomach thinking about how bad I'll look.   Sucks.  I am 56 years old and yet I feel I have so many years ahead of me.  I don't want to look like a bag of skin.  Yuck.  I can see how this is depressing.  I have half a mind to cancel the surgery but would be too embarrassed to do so since all the "ducks are in the row".  
Please God give me guidance and keep mw safe during this chapter of my life.  Help me accept me all of me - with what God gave me and all the abuse I did to my own body over the years.  Maybe this is my penance.

Please keep me safe Lord.  My husband couldn't survive being a widower nor my daughter could survive without me I'm sure of it.  I have to survive and be here!

 Anyone else having surgery at Cle Clinic?

 Today I was 218 and in one more week, I get sleeved at Cleveland Clinic.  My heaviest was 237 lbs. after 2009 when I suffered from deep depression when both parents died 9 months apart.  I felt like I was an orphan!  I know that sounds silly but I felt alone with mom and dad.  I am married to a great man who loves me for me - big all over.  I just want to be healthier and get my life back.  I chose the sleeve because I want to eat "normal" again even if it is one year later.  Normal for me will be having protein, healthy carbs, some complex carbs (vegs, fruits) and no more "bad" stuff we have all ate.  
I'm nervous but determined that this will be the beginning of the best chapter of my life!